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#5604 + ( )/168 - [ Report ]
// In an email about a possible snow day:
Mr. Smith: Just like you guys, us teachers like to sleep in when we get a snow day. Mr. Rose is probably just getting out of his coffin in the cellar, Mr. Hannum is probably trimming his beard to make it look as evil as possible, and Dr. Osborne is doing his morning vocal-cord workout. -
#5461 + ( )/43 - [ Report ]
Forbes: So, in this web of wires, all the currents at this end and the other end add to the same thing because of conservation of charge. Unless there's something adding charges, or little trolls taking them away.
James: It's climbin' in your circuits, it's snatchin' your charges up... -
#5440 + ( )/53 - [ Report ]
// In Smith Physics
Mr. Smith (facing away from the class): So I've got K, q and uhh...uh..
Jay: R.
Mr. Smith: Thanks whoever that was, Jay or Ed..you sit right next to each other...
Jay: It was me, Ed's asleep.
Mr. Smith: Oh okay, well thank you, Jay.
Mr. Smith: ...go to hell, Ed. -
#5320 + ( )/39 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Smith is replying to a series of questions he's been asked in emails with a mass email to all his students
Q. You said you got 5th period's data to fit the predicted slopes within about 10% for all three plots. I'm using 6th period's data and I can't get closer than about 20%.
A. That's not actually a question.
And later...
Q. Why are you so incredibly good-looking?
A. The orange vest helps, but it's mostly genetic. -
#5303 + ( )/135 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes takes out a Newton's Cradle from Spencer's
Mr. Forbes: I've noticed that Spencer's sells three kinds of products: lava lamps, sex jokes, and science toys. So that means their target demographic is perverted, ex-hippie physics teachers.
Mr. Forbes: I don't know where they'll find any of those. -
#5136 + ( )/66 - [ Report ]
// Sam Sohn's status: NEW RULE V. 2.1.: Unless I give you permission, you may not ask physics questions. Ask me if you aren't sure whether you're allowed.
Robert Campion: Your rules have versions?
Sam Sohn: Oh yes / Version 1 was 7 questions per week per person / Then I got a bit harsh with Version 2 (no questions at all) / Then got a bit more lenient
Robert Campion: So you're asymptotically approaching `very strict' with an oscillating function? -
#5095 + ( )/77 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes makes a math error while discussing derivatives
Class: Oh! Oh! You didn't divide by dt!
Forbes: Ok, ok! You know, when I was teaching at a lower level high school, I used to offer students 1 bonus point for typos, 2 points for a math error, and 5 points for a conceptual error. Naturally, this had their eyes glued to the board the whole class.
Class: *jaws hit the floor in disbelief*
Forbes: Of course, I can't give this opportunity to you guys, because you'd have 4 billion points by the end of the first quarter.
// 2 minutes later
Student: You forgot to distribute delta x.
Forbes: Dammit! -
#4902 + ( )/118 - [ Report ]
// During the physics wave labs, it is near the end of an afterschool work session.
Mr. Rose: Come on, guys, you have 5 minutes left. If everyone isn't out of here by 6:00, I'll charge 5 bucks per head.
// The students do not listen and continue working.
Mr. Forbes: Make that five POINTS per head.
// Everyone gasps and immediately scrambles to get out