Search Results
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#4792 + ( )/20 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the lengthy physics lab reports students had to write
Mr. Rose: You know, I don't even get paid extra for the time I spend grading these. I get a fixed amount independent of the actual hours I spend working.
Student: Then what are you doing here?
Mr. Rose: *stops and stares at student* -
#4769 + ( )/65 - [ Report ]
// SLOBS with Dr. Dell during lunch. Dr. Dell writes a problem on the board which requires an estimate.
Dell: I want to be clear on what I mean by an estimate. When I say "you suck very very much," and I ask you to estimate how much you suck, I do not want to hear "I suck very very VERY much." It has to be within the correct order of magnitude.
Steven: Can we say we suck as much as your mom?
*Laughter. Dr. Dell is silent.* -
#4745 + ( )/60 - [ Report ]
// Jad isn't paying attention during Physics
Mr. Rose: Jad, what are you up to? What are you doing?
Jad: Nothing! Physics!
*Mr. Rose takes the book Jad is reading under the desk*
Mr. Rose: What is this, Stephen Meyer, is this good?
Jad: Uh...
// The book is, of course, "Breaking Dawn" by Stephanie Meyer. -
#4657 + ( )/15 - [ Report ]
// In physics talking about rotation and torque.
Scholla: So here's a wheelchair wheel. These things are hard to get. You sneak into a nursing home at night...
*Class laughs*
Scholla: ...and old people put up a fight, even when you try to convince them it's for a good cause... -
#4656 + ( )/45 - [ Report ]
// After drawing a problem on the board in which a car is tied to a tree by some length of rope, and a force of 226N is acting on the rope, Spitz raises his hand.
Scholla: Yes?
Spitz: I was just wondering if those were fig trees.
Scholla: Fig trees?
Spitz: Yeah, because then it wold be 226 Fig Newtons. -
#4595 + ( )/143 - [ Report ]
// The PA system has been making loud noises during a repair procedure. When Dr. Dell leaves the room to complain to someone, some juniors get up on a chair and attempt to disassemble the speaker in the ceiling. Dr. Dell reenters the room.
Dr. Dell: What are you doing?
Juniors: Trying to disassemble the speaker.
Dr. Dell: Go ahead and unplug it.
Juniors: The cord doesn't have a plug, it just runs straight into the speaker.
Dr. Dell: Get out of the way. *Gets on chair and rips cords out of speaker*
Class: *cheer* -
#4511 + ( )/135 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You may find that, while taking this class, you have problems sleeping.
Dr. Dell: You see, every September, I make a voodoo doll for every student in my class. Then I send them all down to this witch in Haiti, who curses them to bind the dolls to the students and sends them back to me.
Dr. Dell: Every time a student makes a stupid mistake on a test, I take this huge needle and shove it up the voodoo doll's ass.
Dr. Dell: And that's why you wake up at night. -
#4308 + ( )/41 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You see, if you take the derivative of position, you get velocity, and if you take the derivative of that, you get acceleration. Does anyone know what the derivative of acceleration is?
Student in the back of the room: Uhhhh, is that Jerk?
Dr. Dell: Yes sir. You see, Jerk is this concept...
*Student in the front interrupts*: Dr. Dell, what is the derivative of Jerk then?
*Dr. Dell glares at student for a moment*
Dr. Dell: Let's see. A SON OF A JERK?!?! -
#4218 + ( )/43 - [ Report ]
// Physics, Mr. Rose is lecturing when Mr. Scholla comes in suddenly
Mr. Scholla: Mr. Rose, will you go to homecoming with me?
// Leaves as the class giggles
Mr. Rose: You know, some guys let themselves be wrapped around their girl's finger. Me, I don't let that happen *winks*