Top Quotes
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#1446 + ( )/512 - [ Report ]
// Discussing electrostatic charges in Physics; Cliff put his hand near a ping-pong ball which was charged and hanging from a ceiling, and when he put his hand near it, the ball swung towards him.
Mr. Bagden: Look at that, it's moving towards you. Can you tell me why?
Cliff: Because it's attracted to me?
Mr. Bagden: And why is that?
Cliff: ...because I'm beautiful? -
#1842 + ( )/454 - [ Report ]
// During summer school lecture
Dr. Acio: So when we're doing labs, I play music, I let kids bring in their iPods and I allow everything except rap. So one day I go look on someone's iPod screen and it says 'Yo Yo Ma' so I go to the kid and say "I told you no rap music" and the kid's sitting there insisting that it's not and I say "it says Yo Yo Ma" and the kid's like "that's his name." -
#2318 + ( )/374 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes is doing a brief intro lecture on electricity
Forbes: So of the four fundamental forces of the universe, electricity is the only one we can do much with. Anything an electron can do, we can /make/ it do.
// Power goes out
Forbes: So as I was saying, we are the MASTERS of electricity! -
#1069 + ( )/392 - [ Report ]
// In history, during a Constitutional Convention role-play...
Ben (James Madison): I'll defer to Dr. Franklin, as my wife loves his stoves.
Arian (Benjamin Franklin): Oh, that's not all she loves!
Mrs. Vallone (George Washington): Of course, he's referring to his lightning rod. -
#1017 + ( )/376 - [ Report ]
Mr. Stueben: It has come to my attention that some students do not like my quizzes. Consequently, until morale improves, all quiz questions will be written in Mandarin Chinese. Good luck!
DIRECTIONS: Choose the best answer to the following question from the choices below.
(Chinese text you don't need to know to solve it)
A. All of the below.
B. None of the below.
C. All of the above.
D. One of the above.
E. None of the above.
F. None of the above. -
#2639 + ( )/353 - [ Report ]
//AP US History
//Mr. Sleete talks about funny AP US essays he has graded for College Board
Essay: Okay, I know absolutely nothing about this subject, but there is a really hot girl sitting across from me, so I need to keep writing in order to look smart. I am going to tell you my life story.... -
#3897 + ( )/351 - [ Report ]
// In physics class
Lawrence: Why do we use epsilon? K is so much better!
Dr. Dell: Take it back! Repeat after me: "epsilon naught is good, K is bad!"
Lawrence: No!
Dr. Dell: *Gets out some drill thing* I got this from Japan. It's a disciplinary device. You can't get it here 'cause it's illegal. *Puts it against a piece of paper, the paper lights on fire.*
Dr. Dell: SAY IT!! EPSILON NAUGHT IS GOOD!! K IS BAD!! -
#2256 + ( )/326 - [ Report ]
// Senior switch day in physics
Mr. (Colmer) Bagden: For our final demo, I'll give this dollar to the first person who volunteers to kiss the Van De Graaff Generator.
*A few people look willing but unsure*
Mr. (actual) Bagden: You know, instead of the dollar I'll give you a bonus point...
*Half of the class immediately raise their hands*
Mr. Bagden: ...Just kidding, but I want you to see how sad that is. -
#198 + ( )/365 - [ Report ]
// During a crew practice, calling out the strokes w/ pauses. We just passed a girl's boat that was badly messing up.
Graham (yelling): ROW! ... ROW! ... ROW!
Graham (whispering, annoyed): Everyone's looking at the fucking girl's boat and not paying any fucking attention...
Graham (yelling again): FUCK! er.. ROW! -
#1699 + ( )/355 - [ Report ]
Mr. Forbes: You know why all your teachers are leaving? Because they're old! You know why they're old? Because this school hires people with experience.
Tom: What about Mr. Bagden?
Mr. Forbes: Mr. Bagden is special. He's secretly an elf. He was born two thousand years ago and has been growing younger ever since. -
#2415 + ( )/319 - [ Report ]
// AP bio during Dr. Uston's first year
Dr. Uston: So class, this is a plant cell.
Student: Ummm Dr. Uston... it isn't square...
Dr. Uston: Oh, that's okay. Not all plant cells are rectangular. It's green! That means it has chloroplasts!
Class: Ummmm, actually we dont see any organelles...
*Dr. Uston keeps talking*
// 5 minutes later
Student: Oh look! There's the plant cell! See that label ABOVE the cell you're describing? This is a frog egg...
Dr. Uston: Okay, then so class, this is a plant cell.
Class: *stops listening for the rest of the year* -
#1356 + ( )/323 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You all don't know how hard it is for me to grade these papers.
Chris: So why don't you just ...stop?
Dr. Dell: Well, I realized that I needed to grade the papers while I was watching the Goblet of Fire. I was watching Dumbledore as the tournament was about to start and he said 'Now is the time that we must choose between what is right, and what is easy.' And I thought, 'I actually have to grade these papers.'