TJbash.org

Bottom Quotes

• #928 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  // Overheard in the hallway
  "...why are you all so close to me all of a sudden?!"
  "We're paramagnetic."   

• #871 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  Brian: Where is the Internet located?
  Michael Hill: The Internet is in everyone of us.

  Tags: michael_hill

• #744 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  // After determining that a) if eli and nathan were combined, eli's pervertedness averaged with nathan's distinct non-pervertedness would yield a normal guy, and b) shannon, nathan, and eli are going to homecoming as three...
  
  eli: so shannon, you'll have two normal guys in both of us combined
  nathan: no, actually it'd be more like one normal guy and some leftovers
  eli: yeah..
  nathan: or i could choose not to combine with you, and keep my advantage.
  shannon: yes.
  eli: fucker.
  nathan: ... exactly.   

• #729 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  Boris: Yeah, I'm thinking about skipping class, maybe I'll sit in the bathroom for an hour and a half.
  John Herrin: What class is this?
  Boris: AP Euro...... // Mr. McCarthy walks by
  
  // Long pause

• #728 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  MireiyuInCorsica: i have four bruises on my left knee in a perfect graph of -x = y².

• #706 + (+15)/31 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Latimer: Did everybody hear hurricane Rita's been upgraded to blackhole status? It's going to eat the United States, so we'll have to evacuate.
  Me: Time to bump up NASA's funding!

  Tags: latimer

• #674 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  AntarcticPhoenix:  18.96.7.2
  AntarcticPhoenix: you have one of the shortest IP addresses i've seen
  AntarcticPhoenix: .
  AntarcticPhoenix: remind me not to say anything like that ever again.

  Tags: nathan_watson

• #664 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  // from the TJ Class of 2003 Quote List Fall 1999
  "You don't know what it feels like with four people sleeping in your bed at once..."
  - Mrs. Otani

  Tags: otani

• #555 + (+15)/19 - [ Report ]

  Dan Wright: Jesus definitely left some things undone. Like the weeding. Have you SEEN Jerusalem?

  Tags: dan_wright

• #504 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  // Playing Trivial Pursuit
  H: "What power-pedaling sport made France's Bernard Hinault a national hero?"
  J: "Running away."    

• #449 + (+15)/21 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Dell, 1999:  "If you do stuff in Geoscience..."
  (entire class breaks into laughter)

  Tags: dell geosystems

• #429 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  // Introductions at drumline rehersal
  Steve: ...And then we've got Greggy-poo over there
  *Drumline chuckles*
  Greg: Hi, I'm Greggy- I mean-   

• #386 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  // Asking Mr. Torbert to say penis really loud
  Raamin: Say it for 10 million microseconds.
  Torbert: No.
  Hyphen: That's 10 seconds...
  Raamin: I know. 10 seconds of penis would be great.

• #259 + (+15)/21 - [ Report ]

  Nathan Watson: You know you're a geek when instead of air guitar, you play air keyboard.

  Tags: nathan_watson

• #244 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  // Dan Wright has just described someone as "Hitlerine"
  Sam: Where did the word "Hitlerine" come from?
  Dan: I don't know. I'm neologizing as I go.

  Tags: dan_wright

• #170 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  The Washington Post Magazine says that Thomas Jefferson's teachers tell their students, "The only thing that truly matter is what kind of person you are"
  All they forgot was the ellipsis and "and that you have a 4.1 GPA"

• #5952 + (+16)/22 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Orser: In modern archetypal theory, the hero tends to be scrawny and nerdy in the beginning of the context.
  Student: Woo!!! WE HAVE HOPE!!!

  Tags: english ibet orser

• #5406 + (+16)/26 - [ Report ]

  //Explaining why prostitution is still around
  Struck: It's illegal, but we don't have the resources to pick up all the hookers.

  Tags: struck

• #5231 + (+16)/26 - [ Report ]

  // During lunch
  Student: I'm not going to be here this afternoon.
  Mr. Rose: Why are you cutting class?
  Student: I'm actually sick, but I came to take my physics test.
  Mr. Rose: Well, I hope you threw up on your physics test.

  Tags: s_rose

• #5210 + (+16)/20 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the "iron triangle" in AP Gov.
  Mr. Torrence: You scratch my back and...I...what is it?
  Mr. Torrence: You scratch my back and I'll pat you on the stomach?
  Student: ...and I'll scratch yo-
  Mr. Torrence: Ahh! You scratch my back, and I'll scratch your front.

  Tags: government torrence

• #5040 + (+16)/16 - [ Report ]

  Emma: If I were stranded in the mountains, would I eat my family? You don’t know until you get there, right?
  Majeske: Oh, wow. I should have had more kids.

  Tags: emma_ferris majeske

• #4951 + (+16)/20 - [ Report ]

  // Torrence found a paper right in front of him after searching franctically for it for five minutes
  Torrence: Everyone say "Mr. T, you're an idiot."
  Class: *enthusiastically* Mr. T, you're an idiot!
  Torrence: What- I didn't actually mean it!

  Tags: torrence

• #4289 + (+16)/22 - [ Report ]

  // Reading "effective quotes" from student papers in Senior Sem.
  Sam: When I saw that my grade was a B+, I spazzed like an epileptic confronted with a disco zebra.

• #4181 + (+16)/18 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Wu talking about her first scuba diving experience in the ocean with her professor
  Mrs. Wu: ...and I was on top of him the whole time! Like I was all over him!

  Tags: wu

• #3709 + (+16)/32 - [ Report ]

  // While watching a video about Andrew Jackson
  Andrew Jackson: Well, if they're not with me, they're against me!
  Other Student: Only the Sith deal in absolutes...

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