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• #3380 + (+19)/33 - [ Report ]

  // 05/06/08, after the earthquake
  *loud boom*
  Class: ...
  Mr. Lewis: Don't worry, it's probably just the air conditioner.

  Tags: lewis

• #3232 + (+19)/27 - [ Report ]

  // In BC calc with Dr. Osborne on pi day, discussing Euler's Identity
  Dr. Osborne: You know, Dr. Glazer once told me he wanted to get a tattoo of it somewhere on his body.
  Student: Do you have a tattoo of it on your body?
  Dr. Osborne: No! ...But I do know a friend who has a tattoo of a carbon atom on his back.

  Tags: osborne

• #3204 + (+19)/23 - [ Report ]

  // In geosystems:
  Mr. Jarvis: Here we are talking about a man named Mohs.
  Mr. Jarvis: Everyone messes up the possessive form of his name. What is the possessive of Mohs?
  Robert Stephens: Moses?

  Tags: geosystems jarvis

• #3154 + (+19)/33 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Chhabra:  Try to imagine a table - does anybody have a problem with imagining a table?
  M: is it a square table or a circle?
  Mrs. Chabbra:  It's the shape of your head, M.
  A: Ooh, that's an ugly table.
  Mrs. Chhabra: Oh, now that's just mean.

  Tags: chhabra

• #2701 + (+19)/37 - [ Report ]

  // Mom is trying to wake Julie up at 6am.
  Mom: Julie, Julie!
  Julie: (yelling in her sleep) 2 over 3!!
  Mom: Uh, Julie? Are you still asleep?
  Julie: Uh, sorta...

  Tags: tj

• #2672 + (+19)/29 - [ Report ]

  // c. 04-05
  // Mr. Randall is upset that people keep putting hot glue into the holes of the wooden boards.
  // Abel has just been caught.
  Randall: If Abel puts glue in the wooden hole again, then _I'll_ put glue in /his/ hole...
  Class: ...
  Randall: His /ear/ hole.
  Class: ...

  Tags: randall

• #2371 + (+19)/41 - [ Report ]

  // Physics
  Dr. Walker: "Watt" is the unit of power?
  Will: Isn't that like Coulombs over seconds or...
  Dr. Walker: That was a statement, not a question.
  // Pause, then the class erupts into laughter
  Dr. Walker: What will pass for humor these days...

  Tags: physics walker

• #2209 + (+19)/39 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Cammer: But I would never, ever threaten a student!

  Tags: cammer

• #2164 + (+19)/23 - [ Report ]

  Ivan: *trying to say something by leaning on the podium, which shrinks*
  Ian: No, Ivan, just leave it alone; you'll make it worse.
  Stephen: It's fine. Mr. Zack is short anyway.
  Mr. Zack: This is why I drink.

  Tags: zack

• #1720 + (+19)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the Tennis Court Oath in English
  Mr. Richardson: You know, the French invented tennis.
  Cayla: They also invented mayonnaise!
  Mr. Richardson: The French aren't all bad, that's two contributions to modern society.

  Tags: richardson

• #1714 + (+19)/23 - [ Report ]

  // Deason is exasperated that Sam is using a mouse in vim (A Linux text-based editor)
  Deason: Sam, you're using a _mouse_ with _vim_??? That's like....
  Eric: That's like, using a pair of pants... to wash the dishes! It just doesn't work!

  Tags: andrew_deason syslab

• #1673 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  // Deborah asking Myles to go with her prom group
  Myles: Yeah, I'd love to go to prom with you but I'm gonna go kill terrorists // Counter-Strike
  Deborah: Worst rejection ever.      

• #1515 + (+19)/27 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the irregular flight path of a shuttlecock in badminton
  Coach James: So most people are used to the regular parabolic path of a ball...
  Class: *groans*
  James: See? Science can be applied in PE!

  Tags: james

• #1507 + (+19)/27 - [ Report ]

  // History, Mr. Struck is lecturing.
  Mr. Struck: And then... wait, my train of thought derailed.
  Jaskot: Or is it still boarding at the station?

  Tags: john_jaskot struck

• #1392 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing a HUM assignment to decide which scientist should be added to the Science Hall of Fame
  McCarthy: Just write down the positive arguments. You can't say, 'Vesalius belongs in the Hall of Fame because Newton was a child molester.'

  Tags: mccarthy

• #1264 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about condoms on bus...don't ask
  Person 1: Condoms protect against STDs 99.9% of the time!
  Person 2: No they don't! I'll show you!
  *everybody else bursts out laughing*   

• #1244 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  Spencer: So...I guess it wasn't a good idea to come to Geosystems drunk.

  Tags: geosystems

• #1198 + (+19)/23 - [ Report ]

  Matt Boehm <AUTO-REPLY> :  z.z - sleepy
  Arucard: NOOO!
  Arucard: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
  Arucard: *shakes*
  Arucard: *shakes***!!!!!!!!!!
  Arucard: NOOOO!!!!!1
  Arucard: >:O
  Matt Boehm: stop yelling
  Matt Boehm: i cant sleep

  Tags: matt_boehm

• #1163 + (+19)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about evolution
  Dr. Cammer: And plants are notorious polygamists!

  Tags: biology cammer

• #1144 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  Student: Hey, Dr. Walker, is it true that you're a robot?
  Dr. Walker: No.
  Dr. Walker: I'm a *clone*.

  Tags: walker

• #1018 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kummer: Bring me a frog and a machete and I'll bisect it for you.

  Tags: kummer

• #1014 + (+19)/19 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Stetson: When driving, watch for pedestrians. Especially toddlers, old people, and intoxicated people. They all act alike.

  Tags: stetson

• #990 + (+19)/27 - [ Report ]

  // Hunter is looking at a perfectly normal BLT sandwich roll
  Hunter: I can find the bacon and tomato, but where's the lettuce?
  Eric: It's the green stuff!
  Hunter: I can't seem to find it...
  // Long pause
  Hunter: Oh wait. I got lettuce and turkey mixed up.

  Tags: eric_harmon hunter_tammaro

• #953 + (+19)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Student trying to submit a late chemistry assignment
  Student: Dr. Acio, I completely forgot to turn in this homework.
  Dr. Acio: Well, the work "forgot" begins with a letter "F"; so, I guess you completely got an F.

  Tags: acio

• #847 + (+19)/19 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Renaissance sculptors' tendency to depict naked figures
  Mr. Maney: Man, is that naked.

  Tags: maney

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