Bottom Quotes
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#1013 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
// The German "educational singer" Uwe Kind onstage during a German field trip
Uwe: So, 'der Kopf'! What is 'Kopf'?
Audience: The head.
Uwe And 'der Rucken'! What is 'Rucken'?
Audience: The back.
Uwe: Very good! And finally, 'der Scheisse'. 'Scheisse' means 'shit' in English."
Audience: (stunned silence.)
// Note: Mr. Kind is from Germany, where public profanity is socially acceptable.
// Apparently no one told Mr. Kind that the same standards didn't apply to his
// English-speaking audience of 1,000 FCPS students, teachers, and administrators. -
#251 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
// Reviewing rest types in orchestra
*draws on board*
Class: Half rest!
*draws some more*
Class: Whole rest!
**
Class: Quarter rest!
**
Class: Eighth rest!
*adds flag*
Class: Sixteenth!
**
Class: 32nd!
**
Class: 64th!
*adds square root symbol*
Andy Menke: 8 rad 2th!
William Yang: The square root of 64 is 8.... -
#103 + ()/25 - [ Report ]
Geoff: damnit, now i've done it. i shall have to use my manly wiles to amuse you until you are happy again.
Geoff: now, i'll go leave the toilet seat up!
Geoff: and be laughably incompetent when it comes to taking care of infants, interpreting signals sent by other genders, and set the kitchen on fire as i try to cook! -
#3904 + ()/26 - [ Report ]
// Ms. Colglazier is talking about a nerdy guy who had a hot date at a party she attended.
Mrs. Colglazier: She must have been some sort of escort or something. She just didn't fit in with the rest of the crowd. You would have thought that he would've at least told her to cover up a little bit or something.
James Wiley: But that would be like covering up a sports car with one of those tarps...
