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#267 + (+24)/32 - [ Report ]

Mr. Blackwell: Hey! We don't use words like "labial fricative" in this class!
*class laughs*
Me: That's going to tjbash.
Mr. Blackwell: NO!

Tags: blackwell tjbash
#265 + (+24)/32 - [ Report ]

Dad: Be sure you're saving periodically in case your computer crashes.
Me: Oh, don't worry. I save like Jesus.
#180 + (+24)/24 - [ Report ]

Matt Isakowitz: Think about it - if an 800 lb. football player hit a baby, which would move farther?
Classmates: ...
Matt: Okay, bad analogy.

Tags: matt_isakowitz
#71 + (+24)/24 - [ Report ]

Y2Katie0325: i greater than three you
Snowcap301: >3 ... Hmmm... I'm seeing a thong. ...A fat man in a thong.
#5941 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

// Conklin, right after Dr. Glazer had moved into the room across the hall
Conklin: Tiberius, close the door. If you leave it open Dr. Glazer might hear me and think I'm crazy or something.
Class: *silence*
Conklin: Yes, I'm crazy, just don't tell him.

Tags: conklin glazer
#5890 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

// Before PE class has started
Student: Mrs. Davis, is there a female version of Satan?
Mrs. Davis: Your mom?
Student: ...

Tags: davis pe
#5571 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

// During AP Gov class, talking about current events
Mr. Kummer: So what important event is going to happen on October 1st?
Class: SATs.
Mr. Kummer: ...So what event in the world of government and politics is going to happen on October 1st?
Class: ...SATs.
Mr. Kummer: *facepalms*

Tags: government kummer
#5488 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

Mr. T: I encourage you all to be promiscuous!
Mr. T: Even SLUTTY!
Mr. T: With your use of paragraphs, that is.

Tags: torrence
#5175 + (+25)/61 - [ Report ]

Genevieve: *trying to open a locker at an ice rink, friends are helping* How many TJ students does it take to open a locker?
Kirsten: Well, none of us use lockers anyway...
#4971 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

// Mr. Pollet is explaining today's activity.
Mr. Pollet: ...and then we'll... *pauses*
Mr. Pollet: *looks across the room*
Mr. Pollet: Stop rubbing your snake on her arm!
Class: *cracks up*
Mr. Pollet: Uh, anyway, what might be good to do is hook up with another group and...
Class: *giggles*
Mr. Pollet: I guess that didn't come out quite right either...

Tags: english hum pollet
#4358 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

Majeske: So, can a desire to make money and a devotion to God coexist?
Chris: Well, religion's a bit like getting faith points which you redeem at heaven, so if you have enough, then yes.
Majeske: Faith points?

Tags: history majeske
#4339 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

// Discussing Spanish words meaning "for"
Mateo: <in Spanish> I killed my husband for being unfaithful.
Mateo: I mean, just as an example.

Tags: mateo spanish
#4123 + (+25)/37 - [ Report ]

// Student showing his mom an XKCD comic
Mom: Wait, you mean there are comics that aren't in the newspaper?
#4070 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

// Now an eight year old quote
Ms. Wu: Now estuaries are... well, estuaries are like pornography. You can't exactly describe it, but you'll know it when you see it.

Tags: wu
#4018 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

// We are taking too long (in Ms. Chhabra's opinion) to do some chem problems.
Ms. Chhabra: By the time you all are finished, you'll have long white hair and you'll be chasing your kids around with a nanotube!

Tags: chem chhabra
#3947 + (+25)/35 - [ Report ]

Tejas: Bless you!
*pause*
Shane: I accept your blessings.
#3898 + (+25)/49 - [ Report ]

Ms. Iorga: Lawl.

Tags: english
#3749 + (+25)/41 - [ Report ]

Filip: I think I value looks more in an operating system than in people.
#3645 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

// Josephus is an APCS lab
J: I have to do Josephus.
K: Whoa... new boyfriend?
J: ... New lab.
#3233 + (+25)/31 - [ Report ]

Dr. Osborne: You must be in radians to ride this ride.

Tags: osborne
#3041 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

//Talking about the flirtatious "virgin" queen
Mr. Kelly: When will you people learn that flirting and having sex are not the same thing?!

Tags: kelly
#2859 + (+25)/33 - [ Report ]

// Eating string cheese in a computer lab during Gov.
Ms. Glatter: Is that cheese you're eating?
Student: No, I swear! It's not what it looks like!
Ms. Glatter: That's fine. Cheese is good for computers.

Tags: glatter
#2456 + (+25)/47 - [ Report ]

// All Things Band Night
Parent: About what percentage of the kids in the band program march?
Ms. Ulrey: I don't really know . . .
Mr. Reinsel: Oh, hey, I've got some numbers. Let's see, there are about 100 kids who march, and a total of around 160 kids in the band program, so about two thirds.
Sean: Wait . . .
Sean: SIXTY-TWO POINT FIVE!

Tags: band sean_cruz ulrey
#2215 + (+25)/35 - [ Report ]

// In the car on the way home from wrestling practice
// Stuart is on his laptop
Stuart: Hey guys, I found a wireless connection. ...It's called "skullfuckers."
#2199 + (+25)/43 - [ Report ]

// In tech class. Mr. LaFever is holding a basic stamp with a bright blue LED.
Student: Mr. LaFever, there are people coming in the room.
Mr. LaFever: I'll flash them with blue light. Look, they're melting!

Tags: lafever

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Bottom Quotes

#267 + (+24)/32 - [ Report ]

#265 + (+24)/32 - [ Report ]

#180 + (+24)/24 - [ Report ]

#71 + (+24)/24 - [ Report ]

#5941 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

#5890 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

#5571 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

#5488 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

#5175 + (+25)/61 - [ Report ]

#4971 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

#4358 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

#4339 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

#4123 + (+25)/37 - [ Report ]

#4070 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

#4018 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

#3947 + (+25)/35 - [ Report ]

#3898 + (+25)/49 - [ Report ]

#3749 + (+25)/41 - [ Report ]

#3645 + (+25)/29 - [ Report ]

#3233 + (+25)/31 - [ Report ]

#3041 + (+25)/25 - [ Report ]

#2859 + (+25)/33 - [ Report ]

#2456 + (+25)/47 - [ Report ]

#2215 + (+25)/35 - [ Report ]

#2199 + (+25)/43 - [ Report ]