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Bottom Quotes

• #5247 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // During a gov test
  Mr. Torrence: You have 25 minutes for this test. You may begin when Mickey's hand hits the twelve.
  *he writes down start and end times*
  Students: *look at board and do a double take*
  Board: Start time - 9:39 End time, 9:64

  Tags: torrence

• #4779 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  Majeske: When you hear the name Benjamin Disraeli, what country should you think of?
  Class: ISRAEL!
  *Majeske facepalms*
  Majeske: When you guys get out, and before the next period comes in, I'll have my retirement plan filed.

  Tags: majeske

• #4755 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing _Death of a Salesman_ in English
  Mr. Miller: And so the traveling salesman comes home...
  Student A (aside): So did he solve the Traveling Salesman Problem?
  Student B: Well, it looks like he's sure had an NP-hard day.

  Tags: miller

• #4236 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  // AP Calculus AB
  Mrs. Donohue: Have you guys ever seen Mr. Rogers' show? Well, we're going to get on the trolley to make-believe land so that the origin of the graph is here.

  Tags: donohue

• #3646 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // In English
  Student: So, how do you spell pterodactyl?
  Teacher: Why, that's easy- *writes on board* tera *crosses out* tairod *crosses out* ...Uh.

• #3603 + (+26)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Testing for pH in Bio, Mr. McFaden is explaining how the solution that the probe is stored in can damage the male reproductive system.
  
  McFaden:  So you may want to let the ladies clean this up if you spill it.  But nothing's going to wither up and... eh, never mind, maybe they will.

  Tags: mcfaden

• #3342 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about flirtatious queen
  Mr. Kelly: When will you people learn that flirting and having sex are not the same thing?!
  Student: Mr. Kelly, is that going to be on our test?
  Mr. Kelly: [pauses] True or false. Flirting is doing the dirty.

  Tags: kelly

• #3138 + (+26)/44 - [ Report ]

  // M owes D 100 bucks
  D: You owe me so bad, M
  M: Well, W owe me $3000 bucks, so therefore by-
  D: Fuck the transitive property.

• #2985 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  Student: But the dictionary said that that was the definition...
  Mr. Sleete: The dictionary is full of it.

  Tags: sleete

• #2749 + (+26)/30 - [ Report ]

  // During summer chemistry
  Mr. Kauffman: I usually keep about 10 percent of my currency in gold because governments have a way of making money disappear...

  Tags: kauffman

• #2711 + (+26)/44 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Frels: Okay, if I'm talking, I'm the most important one here. If God and I are sitting in the room talking at the same time, you should be listening to me.

  Tags: frels

• #2708 + (+26)/36 - [ Report ]

  // You know those search related ads you see on google and such?
  // I typed "damn" into a search engine.
  // The first ad was for Windows Vista.

• #2538 + (+26)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Maney's class is discussing surviving a nuclear attack
  Mr. Maney: Yeah, and when you crawl out of the cave, what do you find? A radioactive grizzly bear, waiting for you!

  Tags: maney

• #2428 + (+26)/38 - [ Report ]

  Sean: The only difference between stuttering and remixing is confidence.

  Tags: sean_cruz

• #2171 + (+26)/36 - [ Report ]

  // In Dr. Uston's AP biology class
  Dr. Uston: Can anyone tell the class what mechanical isolation is?
  Erik: My biology teacher from last year told me that it was like... when parts don't fit.
  Somebody: LUBRICANT!
  Justin: I've had that problem.

  Tags: biology

• #2118 + (+26)/50 - [ Report ]

  // Helmets only football practice
  *Jamahl runs on field wearing jean shorts*
  Coach East: Jamahl, are you wearing JEAN SHORTS to football practice??
  Jamahl: Well, yeah.
  Coach East: The last guy I knew who wore jean shorts was gay.
  Jamahl: Really?
  Coach East: Is it inaccurate that you are a fan of men?
  Jamahl: NO!
  Jamahl: Wait, I mean...

  Tags: east

• #2069 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Discissuing the Vietnam War
  Student: Didn't the U.S. Governement assassinate Diem?
  Professor: Eh, a little bit.

• #1692 + (+26)/32 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about random unlikely events
  R: OMG! Has hell frozen over? Has Mr. Hamby become an astronaut?

  Tags: hamby

• #1688 + (+26)/34 - [ Report ]

  // Sean's philosophy on procrastinating
  "I think I should put stuff off until the absolute last minute. What if I were to die? If I died and had spent my last hours on Earth doing a stupid assignment I didn't even need to turn in I would be pretty pissed off. I believe in living it up while I'm still alive."

  Tags: sean_cruz

• #1683 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  N: god
  N: people who do mun are so fcking dumb
  J: ...you do mun.
  N: yeah.
  J: i'm glad we got that cleared up.   

• #1619 + (+26)/30 - [ Report ]

  // At Wallops Island Bio field trip
  Instructor: Diatoms form INTERTUCULARY BONDS!
  Students: Why?
  Instructor: Um, for increased surface area.
  Students: Waitttt, that doesn't make sense. How does it help them?
  Instructor: Well, I think they share food.
  Alyson: Diatoms are COMMUNISTS!
  Instructor: Yes, except they photosynthesize.

  Tags: biology

• #1473 + (+26)/34 - [ Report ]

  // During math class
  
  Mrs. Rychlik: ...and if you make a simple mistake, such as saying that two plus three isn't seven...
  
  *Class bursts out in laughter*

  Tags: math rychlik

• #1432 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing movies in APHUM, with Mr. Blackwell visiting.
  
  Mr. Blackwell: See, I'm always offended at these guys like Tom Cruise. When they have an aging sequence, their hair just turns grey. It doesn't work like that. You see me? I used to be slim, handsome, and virile.
  Class: ... *cracks up*
  Mr. Blackwell: Well, maybe not virile.

  Tags: blackwell

• #1315 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  Andrew McAlpine: Dude! I can spell words with my grades... words like... "FAD!"

  Tags: andrew_mcalpine

• #1223 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about slavery in a classwide english discussion
  Doel: one thing that noticed was that all of the mulatto children of the slave owners seemed to be female
  Emily: well the children are female because the male slaveowner is allowed to have sex with the female slaves but his wife isnt allowed to have sex with the male slaves
  Stephen: uhh..isnt the gender of the child based on genetics?
  Emily: ... oh... right.   

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