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Bottom Quotes

• #1422 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  Calvin: Man, I always forget that negative numbers aren't integers.
  Peter: ARE integers.
  Calvin: ...yeah, that.
  Peter: That's your problem.

• #1165 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  // AP Gov in Learning Cottage Number 9
  
  Mr. Majeske: '"Learning Cottages??" I don't understand why we don't call them what they are. Mr. Kelly says we should call them the "Enlightenment Salons." <sighs and shrugs> ohhh well.

  Tags: majeske

• #1037 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  // After school, waiting for Drumline practice. Mrs. Lodal walks by
  Lodal: Why do you all look so happy? You've just spent a day at SCHOOL!

  Tags: lodal

• #899 + (+35)/37 - [ Report ]

  Logan: You know what's cool about transcendental numbers? In different base number systems--
  Josh: You know what's cooler? LASER VISION!

• #773 + (+35)/37 - [ Report ]

  // While watching Brian Herzer and Dustin Moore play Warcraft 3 TFT
  Mr. Stueben: I wanna see more blood, I wanna see more gore!

  Tags: stueben

• #686 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  // First day of Geosystems
  Ms. Rhee: So, if you, like, need to contact me, use my home e-mail, 'cause my school account is, like, bogged down with junk from the principal, you know.
  // Class laughs like crazy
  Ms. Rhee: Well, it's true!

  Tags: lodal rhee

• #599 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Acio: Say you have a heavy smoker, and he has a heart attack, and you're giving him CPR. Don't give him pure O2; why? Because his body's used to carbon monoxide!
  Bill: So do you give him a cigarette?

• #392 + (+35)/51 - [ Report ]

  *Macs hugs Christina*
  David: Awww...
  Macs: Fuck you!
  Christina: What?
  Macs: No, not you, him... I'll fuck you later.  
  David: ...can I watch?    

• #359 + (+35)/35 - [ Report ]

  twinofmunin: your handwriting is lamentable
  twinofhugin: my handwriting is valued by the NSA for its cryptographic strength 

• #216 + (+35)/37 - [ Report ]

  // LiveJournal Discussion
  whiskeredguy: I'm a "TJ Parent" of a 3rd year student at TJ. And I can bloody well assure you that ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
  sleepsong: You are without a doubt The. Coolest. Dad. Ever.
  ritos_revenge: I concur.

  Tags: tj

• #5835 + (+36)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Reading questions during FLE
  Dr Del Cerro: "If I masturbate hard enough, could I remove my foreskin?"
  Dr Del Cerro: ....Well, you'd have to be doing one heck of a job.

  Tags: del_cerro

• #4925 + (+36)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Discussion at Senior Transition Night about worst fears at college
  Danley: Getting pranked.
  Mrs. Greenblatt: Did he really just say getting pregnant?

  Tags: greenblatt

• #4826 + (+36)/38 - [ Report ]

  // regarding end-of-year 20th century projects
  Sacks: You have to present on that day. If you've lost an arm, you sew it back on with your teeth.
  Class: ...
  Sacks: Or your other arm.

  Tags: history sacks

• #4547 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // PE, coach Gardziel is talking
  *A sees something in storage closet that he wants. He tries to be sneaky and go in the closet*
  *Gardziel notices, slams the door shut and locks it*
  // Five minutes later
  *Gardziel lets A out of the closet*

  Tags: gardziel

• #4299 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus discussing religion
  TJ kid: What is the soul anyways?
  Student: The soul is what holds your body and mind together.
  TJ kid: You mean protein bonds?

• #3189 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about Lisp syntax
  Mr. Torbert: ...so "~A" is a placeholder in a string, and of course, for whatever reason, "~%" is a newline.
  Mr. Torbert: Don't worry; whoever came up with that has been shot.

  Tags: torbert

• #3188 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // In World Religions class
  Mr. Lamb: Most people believe that a part of us continues to exist in another format, in another location.
  Erica: Another format?
  Igor: They're a .zip.

  Tags: lamb

• #2971 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Sleete is in the hospital and Ms. O'Brien is subbing
  O'Brien: When Mr. Sleete gets back, you guys should be really attentive and talk a lot. He'll think he has died and gone to heaven!
  Class: ...
  O'Brien: Oh, wait...

  Tags: obrien

• #2931 + (+36)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Going over an AP Gov test
  Mr. Zack: I was really disappointed on this one, guys.  I only asked for 8 departments, and we went over all 15 in class.
  Mr. Zack: Most of you got State Department, Treasury Department, Defense, and Justice, but the rest of the answers were...interesting.
  Mr. Zack: *glares at class* Who can name the rest?
  // After a few tries:
  Some Student: Um, Department of...Foreign Affairs?
  Mr. Zack: No, there is NO Department of Foreign Affairs! That's the State Department's job!
  Mr. Zack: ...Though Bill Clinton _wanted_ to create a Department of Foreign /Affairs/....
  Class: *laughs*
  Another Student: Wait, so then...the Department of _Veteran_ Affairs...?
  Class: EEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!

  Tags: government zack

• #2432 + (+36)/48 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Miller: Cosmo is great! I'm in the checkout line, and there's an article about "What Men Really Want," and I start reading it: "What Men Really Want In Bed." And I'm reading it going "mhm...mhm...mhm!"

  Tags: miller

• #1742 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Whiteboard isn't erasing properly
  Mrs. Chhabra: I hate this board with a passion! It's teacher appreciation week! Instead of giving me these ding-a-lings *holds up something that looks like a mutant tape measure* and gum, why don't they give me a new white board?!

  Tags: chhabra

• #1662 + (+36)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Regarding people's Spring Breaks
  Soo: I was going to New York, but when I got to the airport, I was on the FBI's No-Fly List. It was a mistake probably.
  Mr. Richardson: Probably? "Osama bin Laden assured me I wouldn't be on the No-Fly List."
  Class: *lol*
  Student: So did they let you on the plane?
  Soo: No! I had to go by train.
  Brian: (out of nowhere) To China!?!?!?

  Tags: richardson

• #1567 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  // In health class, talking about what would happen to the economy if cigarettes were made illegal.
  Mr. Potoker: I mean, in Virginia, tobacco is a major crash cop. I mean, a cosh crap. I mean... darn it...

  Tags: potoker

• #1561 + (+36)/38 - [ Report ]

  // In Mr. Potoker's health class, after he takes a long time passing out papers.
  Student: They should make robots for each class to just distribute all the papers.
  Mr. Potoker: They have, it's called a freshman.

  Tags: potoker

• #1511 + (+36)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Reading over the questions on a quiz on The Tempest
  Ms. Orser: Question 5: Why does Caliban call himself "a thrice-double ass"? Mostly I just wanted to use that word on a quiz.   

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