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#5373 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// During an English discussion
AZ: You can't change anything by doing nothing. Like, nothing would change if I simply refused to participate in this discussion.
Ms. Iorga: I would shoot you.

Tags: iorga
#5359 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// Talking about getting a new phone via insurance from Verizon, and how it generally doesn't work.
Dr. Dell: You walk into Verizon, start screaming, taking your clothes off, yelling "give me a goddamn phone," and eventually they will.

Tags: dell
#4965 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

// Explaining couple of different bird species

Dr. Wood: This is the Tufted Titmouse. *turns to a student who has been making sexual jokes frequently throughout the year* Yes! T-I-T mouse! TITmouse!

Tags: wood
#4846 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

// After Hands on Science day
Dr. Del Cerro: Thanks for volunteering today, everyone! When you get home, take a well earned rest. No studying tonight!
Student: But I'm in AP Bio!
Dr. Del Cerro: ...never mind.

Tags: biology del_cerro
#4622 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

// During AP Government
Mr. Majeske: Are you the future of America?
Kennan: Yes.
Mr. Majeske: Oh, God.
Ian: There goes your Social Security.
Mr. Majeske: No, please, have mercy. That's how I'll keep a roof over my head.
Mr. Majeske: Or several.

Tags: government majeske
#4235 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// AP Gov
Kummer: So why should a 14-year-old girl who can get married in Alabama not be allowed to get married anywhere else?
Danny: Because the culture in various parts of the US are really different...
Kummer: Yeah, yeah, some of us aren't rednecks that get married to our cousins and others are...
Danny: Well, coincidentally, I used to live in Alabama, and...
Kummer: YOU MARRIED YOUR SISTER.

Tags: kummer
#3851 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

// Discussing Texas
Ethan: Everything's bigger in Texas, I bet their six actually IS eight.
Mr. Struck: Ethan, I get the feeling for you six is almost four.

Tags: struck
#3807 + (+38)/54 - [ Report ]

// At the beginning of class
Struck: Oh, you guys have a physics test Thursday? What's it on?
Student: Gravitation...
Struck: Oh, well, me and Newton go way back... You know that whole apple thing?
Struck: I actually threw the apple at his head. So all those laws of gravity you know are wrong...

Tags: physics struck
#3690 + (+38)/240 - [ Report ]

// Talking to a freshman that plays football.
Freshman: Dude, football gets you so many more girls than crap like "Manchoir" does.
Danny: Does the football team ever have girls come up to them and say, "OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS WERE SO GOOD!!!" No? I didn't think so.
#3616 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

// HUM I English, talking about Chinese philosophers
Mr. Williams: So who said that you don't need education to be moral?
Student: Pink Floyd!

Tags: english williams
#3590 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

// Mr. Sleete is explaining to the class that you always write in pen for essays.
Mr. Sleete: Bringing a pencil to an essay test is like bringing a knife to a gunfight. You just don't do it.

Tags: sleete
#3266 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

// Mr. Torbert is angry about a screwup in the Syslab
Mr. Torbert: This is terrible! This is an outrage!! If I wore gloves I would slap you with one right about now!

Tags: syslab torbert
#3125 + (+38)/46 - [ Report ]

// Class has drawn a bunny on the white board
Stueben: *draws a 'vector' through it*
Class: Ahh!
Stueben: If you want to make little girls cry, shoot arrows into their bunnies.

Tags: stueben
#3072 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

//World History, Mr. Blackwell is asking people questions while checking off names
Mr. Blackwell: Andrew! Name a country in Europe so small that the country and capital have the same name!
Andrew: Monaco.
Mr. Blackwell: Yes! And what is Monaco known for?
Andrew: Syphilis?

Tags: blackwell
#2954 + (+38)/54 - [ Report ]

// In Chem, everyone is talking after finishing with a worksheet
Chhabra: You know, there are so many yaks in here we could climb Mount Everest!

Tags: chhabra
#2645 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

Jack: Hey, what does ka stand for in this spreadsheet?
Josh: A killion years.

Tags: geosystems
#2642 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// AP Lit, talking about our weekends. Kat has just shared a story where her pants split down the middle while she was at work.
Mr. Green: It's always funny when your clothes come off and you're not expecting it. Just wait until next year...

Tags: green
#2115 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

Jeff: Did you apply early to anywhere?
Michael: Yes. To failure.
#1993 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

// Amy Plunk enters Jazz Band to see Mr. Blackwell as a sub
*she runs over to Mr. Blackwell*
Amy: Mr. Blackwell! You're out of rehab!

Tags: amy_plunk blackwell jazz
#1960 + (+38)/66 - [ Report ]

// Brian Terrill walks up to a group of guys after school
Brian: I'll bet you've never seen a rose with a bite taken out of it.
Brian: *chomps down on rose*

Tags: brian_terrill
#1806 + (+38)/48 - [ Report ]

// Band class. everyone's gone off on a tangent
Mrs. Ulrey: All right, everyone, let's ... yes, Nate?
Nate: What's that white box on the wall?
Mrs. Ulrey: *drops baton* muttermutter Nate!
Nate: Sorry... I've got a lot of rests in this piece!

Tags: band ulrey
#1800 + (+38)/50 - [ Report ]

Sherwin: did she say we're finishing presentations tomorrow?
Jeff: ummm
Jeff: ok do you want the $100 answer or the $5 answer?
Sherwin: i'll go for $52.50
Jeff: CALCULATING...
Jeff: PLEASE REFER TO MANUAL. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A GUESS, PRESS 1
Jeff: SI HABLA ESPANOL Y PREFIERE OIR EN LO, DIGA 2
Sherwin: 1
Jeff: CALCULATING...
Jeff: ERROR 500 - INTERNAL SERVER ERROR, PLEASE TRY AGAIN IN SEVERAL MINUTES
Sherwin: do you know the answer or not
Jeff: CALCULATING...
Jeff: GUESS: YES, % ERROR: +- 2 DAY(s)
#1758 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// Talking about 2-hour delay schedule during SOLs
Bobby: Sweet! It's like Christmas every day!
Kevin: No, better! It's like JLC every day!
#1540 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// In health, before the "What if I'm Gay?" video
Beau: I think this activity is actually pretty stupid because it relies on biases.
Mr. Hodges: You just hit the point of it exactly.
Beau: Can we watch the video now?
Mr. Hodges: Not yet. We have to discuss this first.
Ryan: But what if I'm gay now?

Tags: health hodges
#731 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

// In Astronomy, discussing when the planets will be aligned in a row
Mrs. Hennig: ... for all nine planets, it happens about once every 180 years.
Someone: When was the last time it happened?
Mrs. Hennig: 1980...
Class: *groan* We won't be alive the next time!
Pledger: ... not with THAT attitude.

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