Bottom Quotes
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#2471 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
// On the orchestra Orlando trip, in MGM studios at a snack booth, talking to the two people in the booth
Asher: I can’t decide. Which tastes better, the banana or the blue raspberry icee?
Man in Booth: I like blue raspberry.
Woman in Booth: I like banana.
Asher: Okay, rock paper scissors, best out of three.
*The guy turns to the girl with his fist on his palm. The woman quickly backs up out of the view of the window*
Asher: You win. I pick blue raspberry.
Man in Booth (to woman): Hey! Where are you going? I’m not THAT violent! -
#1493 + ()/43 - [ Report ]
// Discussing an educational way of playing tag in Bio
Arvind: We could play a plant version of freeze tag where you're an egg, and if a guy tags you, you're fertilized!
Dr. Cammer: Do you realize what you just said?
Arvind: ... yeah. I knew there'd be SOMETHING wrong with that idea. -
#1397 + ()/43 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Struck is writing the word "bellwether" on the board.
Mr. Struck: Let's see... is that two L's? And an "ea" in the middle? Mrs. Bicknell, could you look it up for me?
Mrs. Bicknell: Sure. *pause* Two L's, then "wether."
Mr. Struck: Could you read the definition?
Mrs. Bicknell: *pause* The first one?
Mr. Struck: Yeah...
Mrs. Bicknell: Ok... "A usually castrated man..." *breaks out into laughter*
Mr. Struck: What?!? -
#1284 + ()/49 - [ Report ]
// After David tried to turn in a paper to Dr. Acio the night before by getting a custodian to unlock the door, but Dr. Acio saw it the next day after the doors had already opened and thought David turned it in late. (In front of an entire class)
David:"Dr. Acio, I turned it in last night!"
Dr. Acio: "Pardon my french David but you're fucking irresponsable." -
#1247 + ()/45 - [ Report ]
// In Driver's Ed.
Stetson: Did I give any of you drugs or alcohol?
*awkward pause followed by students cracking up*
Stetson: As a TOPIC! I meant as a topic!
...
Stetson: Ok, you caught me. I'm a dealer.
Stetson: At least I didn't say, "Did I give any of you sex or STD's?" -
#5240 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
// In AP Gov, there is a discussion about Madison's Federalist #10
Ms. Schoeplein: So Madison basically says that factions are groups who are opposed to the rights of others and are detrimental to society. Can anyone give me an example of a modern day faction?
Student: Team Edward and Team Jacob! -
#4184 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
Three sophomore girls are talking about summer chem.
Sophomore #1: But at least you guys had, like a bunch of friends there.
Sophomores #2 and #3: So? It still sucked.
Sophomore #1: Hey, at least you guys bonded!
Sophomore #1: ...
Sophomore #1: I swear that was unintentional. -
#3845 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// During Junior ethics seminar
Stueben: So some day in the future you are going to get married. And you are going to buy a house. Your wife is going to say "I want to paint the kitchen blue!" And you will say "Well I want to paint the kitchen brown!" And you two will argue over this for months until you finally cave in and paint the kitchen blue because you miss the sex, so this whole argument will have been totally pointless and you will be bitter about it every time you walk into your kitchen.
Student: Let me guess, your kitchen is painted blue?
Stueben: No, purple.
