Bottom Quotes
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#1549 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// You know you're old and losing your memory when...
// Watching the winter olympics. Russia has just won a gold.
Wil K.: There's the Ukraine's blue and yellow flag on the right...and there's the Russian Federation's in the middle.
Wil's dad: Wait, ...where?
Wil: That one with the white, red, and blue bars.
Wil's dad: Oh...what happened to the Hammer & Sickle?
Wil:...
// And they gave him a PhD... -
#5769 + ()/51 - [ Report ]
// MacLean HUM I, discussing sexual innuendo in Candide
Ms. MacLean: If you feel uncomfortable, see me after class and I can give you alternate reading.
Julian: So we wouldn't have to do any reading?
Ms. MacLean: No, I would make you read Moby Dick.
Will: Is he a sperm whale?
*Laughter*
Ms. MacLean: Seriously though, Moby Dick is a huge... *zones out briefly* ...BOOK! HUGE BOOK! -
#5545 + ()/69 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Uston is lecturing on potential energy
Dr. Uston: At the same height, something on a cliff's edge has more potential energy than something further away.
Richard: *Corrects Dr. Uston with a rant too long to type out*
Dr. Uston: You're correct, but we don't need to be that technical in science. -
#4298 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
Student: "Today, I saw this girl's super long hair and she braided them, right? And I was staring at them, and I realized they were very tightly woven. And then that led me to tension. And then that led me to vectors. Then I wanted to measure the vectors (the two strands of braids pointing northwest and northeast) and the force pulling down on it which I assumed was the other hair woven below and I was like STOP!"
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#3779 + ()/67 - [ Report ]
// Mr. McFaden is doing a pre-lab rundown in freshman Bio
McFaden: ...And what will happen once the nitrogen comes in contact with the chemical?
Student #1: It'll mix!
Student #2: It'll bubble!
Student #3 (female): It'll explode!
McFaden...that's a Y chromosome answer, young lady! -
#3254 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Dell has, once again, wandered off course during a lecture.
DrD: So when I get home, I go downstairs to the sauna in my basement, take off my clothes, and devise the cruelest, most sadistic problems I can for the problem sets. Then I rush out to type them up and email them out. -
#3220 + ()/117 - [ Report ]
// Holding a trial in IRC over whether or not astebbin is Eliot Spitzer and Eliot Spitzer's wife
<+amcguiga> Would the witness please elaborate on the specific condition that was found to be true of Spitzer?
<@jcranmer> Objection, your honor. This witness is clearly incapable of saying anything other than yes.
<+amcguiga> bjones_: Are you working on your techlab?
<@jfbreese> Sustained. Witness, please describe spitzer/stebbins' anatomy in terms of yes and no.
<+amcguiga> Objection your Honor
<+bjones_> yes, i am working on my techlab, believe it or not
<+amcguiga> bjones is clearly incapable of answering now
<+amcguiga> *no
<@jfbreese> Sustained. Witness, please describe spitzer/stebbins' anatomy in terms of yes.
<+bjones_> yes -
#2259 + ()/59 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Wood is discussing proper dress for presentations and length of skirts for girls
Dr. Wood: A salesman once said that if a woman walks in with a skirt above her knee and tries to sell you something, she's selling you two things at once
Aviv: Isn't that good?
Class: ...!
Aviv: ...I'd buy it... -
#1736 + ()/59 - [ Report ]
// In Geosystems, discussing the hardness scale of minerals
Ms. Rhee: Diamonds are the hardest mineral, nothing can scratch them.
Chase: A laserbeam can scratch a diamond! Lasers are harder than diamonds!
Jess: A laserbeam is not a mineral!
Student: It's obvious from that conversation that Jess is the one going to MIT.
