TJbash.org

Bottom Quotes

• #5246 + (+54)/66 - [ Report ]

  Oshiro: I'm going to fail calc
  Oshiro: I should start growing out my beard and getting my shirts all battered up now
  Elizabeth: You would make an adorable hobo!
  Oshiro: Hobo?
  Oshiro: No
  Oshiro: Liberal arts major
  Elizabeth: Same difference

  Tags: alexander_oshiro elizabeth_herbst

• #4673 + (+54)/58 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. McFaden is explaining the process of hydrolysis with lego-like toys
  Mr. McFaden: So this water molecule is just sitting here until a ray of sunlight hits it and ZAT! *breaks lego piece* Oh no! My water broke!
  *class giggles*
  Mr. McFaden: Sorry, that's FLE talk.

  Tags: biology mcfaden

• #4384 + (+54)/60 - [ Report ]

  Student: Ms. Orser, may I use the little scientist's room?
  Ms. Orser: Sure, go on in there and do a little experiment.

  Tags: orser

• #4354 + (+54)/54 - [ Report ]

  // Street Law
  Mr Zack: Okay, so why do people commit crimes?
  Student: For the lulz.
  Mr. Zack: *writes "for kicks, lol" on the board*

  Tags: zack

• #4013 + (+54)/60 - [ Report ]

  // Ms. Iorga is giving instructions in the cafeteria while we're in formal attire
  Daniel: Can we change clothes?
  Ms. Iorga: Yes, but only go one or two at a time, not groups of five.  I know that's more fun, but I really don't want any group orgies in here.
  Class: *laughs*
  Ms. Rosenblum and Mr. Kosek: *shocked expressions*

  Tags: ibet iorga kosek rosenblum

• #3430 + (+54)/62 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Gecan has assigned yet another project with a week left in school
  Matt Palko: ...But why Mrs. Gecan?!
  Mrs. Gecan: Because we hate you! Hahaha! There! I can say it because the year's almost over!

  Tags: gecan

• #3136 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Dell has, as usual, wandered off topic during a lecture
  Dr. Dell: The single greatest influence on birth rates was the introduction of the electric light.

  Tags: dell

• #2988 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about a possible weekend snowstorm
  Mr. Rose: Nothing's going to happen, guys. It's only going to snow for a few hours on Saturday.
  Student A: Yeah, but it could freeze over!
  Rose: Sure. So could hell, at some point.

  Tags: j_rose

• #2889 + (+54)/74 - [ Report ]

  // A thought she had lost her calculator.
  B: *hands A's calculator to A*
  A: Oh! My calculator! *takes it* *nearly starts crying* Oh my darling, I've missed you!
  B: ... I'm glad I don't go to your school.

  Tags: tj

• #2325 + (+54)/62 - [ Report ]

  Julian: So, I heard that a car moving at 6 mph can wreck a bumper. That's pretty close to running speed, so I can just threaten to run into people's bumpers when they tick me off!
  Jeff: But what if they use rehashing to avoid collisions?

• #2038 + (+54)/68 - [ Report ]

  // At a lan party
  David: Everyone check their IP address! Someone here is port scanning the computers upstairs! Someone's port scanning my sister's iMac!!
  Teddy: Oh crap it's me...
  David: No port scanning! You aren't finding ANY holes in my sister!

• #1952 + (+54)/58 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about jargon
  Mr. Williams: On Grey's Anatomy, they don't go "That man is twitching on the table." They go, "Get me the hemoglobbinbobbler, STAT!"

  Tags: williams

• #1945 + (+54)/68 - [ Report ]

  // Jason and Richard are discussing attractiveness based on skin color
  Richard: Yeah. Supposedly, men are more attracted to light-colored girls, but I don't think this is always true. For example, I think Jessica Alba's attractive.
  
  // After presentation
  Mr Lampazzi: I have one question. Does Jessica Alba go to our school?
  Everyone: No! She's a celebrity!
  Mr Lampazzi: OH! I thought you were trying to indirectly ask her to Homecoming!

  Tags: lampazzi

• #1896 + (+54)/68 - [ Report ]

  // Pitch for Physics team in AP Physics
  Presenter: If you do well in camp you go to the international competition.
  Dr. Dell: And get killed.
  Class: !!!
  Dr. Dell: It's in Iran a year from now. *Makes motion of bomb*

  Tags: dell physics

• #1682 + (+54)/70 - [ Report ]

  // Economics class during a presentation on different types of businesses
  Person doing presentation: Proprietorships are normally small mom-and-pop type businesses, or father and son stores
  Crystal Zheng: Why are there no father and daughter stores?
  John Sherwood: Because women don't work.
  Mr. Zack: ... Yeah, pretty much.

  Tags: economics john_sherwood zack

• #1613 + (+54)/58 - [ Report ]

  // 7:00PM on an uneventful Saturday evening.
  Peter: Let's go to the mall!
  Ravi: The mall closes at 6 on Saturdays.
  Peter: No, it doesn't...
  Ravi: Oh wait, that’s the library.
  // Only a TJ student...

• #1457 + (+54)/54 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Richardson is done talking to Mrs. Bicknell's English class about taking AP Lit.
  Mr. Richardson: I now leave you with Mrs. Bicknell, and my sympathies.

  Tags: bicknell richardson

• #906 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  Z: pick: heads or tails
  C: tails
  Z: ok, I'm applying to stanford   

• #510 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  // In FLE
  Mr. McFaden: By the way, at the bottom of the bladder is a sphincter. When it relaxes, you pee. During intercourse, it remains closed so you cannot pee. So you have to make a choice, either go the bathroom or have sex.

  Tags: fle mcfaden

• #127 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

• #5827 + (+55)/55 - [ Report ]

  // Forming co-ed ultimate frisbee teams in P.E., one team doesn't have any girls
  Student 1: We don't need girls, they'll just slow us down!
  Coach Davis: Good luck on prom night.

  Tags: davis

• #4716 + (+55)/63 - [ Report ]

  // Girl Scout Cookies
  G: Yeah, they're a major source of revenue for Girl Scouts.
  T, just walking up: What? Prostitution?

• #4260 + (+55)/61 - [ Report ]

  Chhabra: Aaahhhh... isn't that marker better? Can't you all see now?
  Gabe: OOOH I GET IT NOW!
  Chhabra: See, it was the marker, was it not?
  Gabe: It's like my lucky marker. Can I have it?
  Chhabra: Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it?
  Class: ?
  Chhabra: Don't you guys watch Mad TV?

  Tags: chhabra

• #4245 + (+55)/61 - [ Report ]

  // In optics class
  Mr. Latham: ...so this is why we see light. Got it?
  Jimmy: Wow, you have to be on drugs to understand this.
  Mr. Latham: ...
  Lenny: Maybe that's why Dr. Dell is so good at physics...

  Tags: dell latham optics

• #4125 + (+55)/59 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Majeske: I have three children.  They all went to law school.  My greatest nightmare is that one day they will create Majeske law firm and all sue me.

  Tags: majeske

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