TJbash.org

Bottom Quotes

• #2620 + (+61)/67 - [ Report ]

  D: If I ever have a kid, I'll name him Electricity... that way I can say "You're grounded!"

• #2202 + (+61)/67 - [ Report ]

  Atul: How long should our papers be?
  Mrs. MacLean: Well, you're writing about Hamlet, and you're doing a very thorough analysis. I want you to include quotes and I want to see you really develop your thesis.
  Atul: So, like a page double-spaced?

  Tags: english maclean

• #1788 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  Sean: Yeah, we were watching a movie in HUM about the Algonquins and the Iroquois, and Mr. McCarthy covered up the sex scenes with a blanket.
  Ms. Orenstein: That sucks.

  Tags: mccarthy orenstein sean_cruz

• #1674 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Helm: And that brings us to the year 1952! And you know what's exciting about the year 1952?
  *class stares*
  Mr. Helm: Only 60 more years until the end of the course!
  Student: Doesn't that take us into the future?
  Mr. Helm: Yeah well, we'll get as far as we can.

  Tags: helm history

• #1582 + (+61)/65 - [ Report ]

  // Ms. Conklin scrunches up her face in disgust at the computer screen
  Student: What's wrong?
  Ms. Conklin: I got an e-mail where someone called me "Mrs."
  Ms. Conklin: I'm not married, nor will I EVER be again... unless someone has a lot of money...

  Tags: conklin

• #1150 + (+61)/71 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Sacks: Girls, to guys /everything/ is sexual. When they're walking down the hall discussing the stats of the latest Redskins game, that's SEXUAL cause they're thinking "Maybe a girl will hear my impressive knowledge of football and want to have sex with me..."

  Tags: sacks

• #1132 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  // Person walks up to Kyle and Jaskot talking, comes into conversation
  Jaskot: I myself prefer C's.
  Kyle: I prefer D's, and I've actually done two at the same time.
  Person: If I didn't know you guys were talking about rocket engines, that would have been weird.

• #299 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Schmid: What do you think are some of the reasons for variations in sea level? *calls on someone in the back of the room*
  Someone: Ummmm... I wrote down Godzilla.
  Ms. Schmid: Okay, Godzilla.
  Alice Ohlson: That is... pending existence.       

• #69 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  // Jack Breese and Nathan Watson sitting at computers next to each other
  Nathan: What's the address to that site?
  Jack: Here... *highlights text and presses Ctrl-C*
  Jack: Wait...
  Nathan: Were you attempting to copy/paste that from your computer on to mine?
  Jack: ...
  Jack: No.
  Nathan: You thought about it, didn't you?

  Tags: jack_breese nathan_watson

• #5750 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  // In class with Mr. Torrence giving a lecture
  // Tom opens a bag of skittles and starts eating them under his desk
  Mr. Torrence: Are you eating Skittles?
  Tom: Yeah...
  Mr. Torrence: Can I have one? No purples, though.

  Tags: government torrence

• #5422 + (+62)/88 - [ Report ]

  // in the syslab
  Chris: Who is this “General Error”?  I'd like to meet him.
  Zachary: I don't know, but I think he is related to Major Problem.
  Chris: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

  Tags: chris_reffett zachary_yaro

• #4957 + (+62)/62 - [ Report ]

  Kummer: Both of the Kim's are here.
  Blackwell: It's an all Kim class!
  Kummer: No, that's still a couple of years away.
  Blackwell: Except in orchestra - it's already happening.

  Tags: blackwell kummer

• #4834 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Kelly finds a picture of a fish attached to a clothespin on the floor. He picks it up and looks at it for a few seconds.
  Mr. Kelly: Hey guys, quiet down. Ok, I know you think Mr. Kelly is a really annoying teacher, but wait for this.
  Mr. Kelly: Give me back that fillet o fish, give me that fish! Give me back that fillet o fish, give me that fish! *sings the rest of the song*
  Class: *stares and awkwardly claps*

  Tags: hum kelly

• #4283 + (+62)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about a math problem we just did
  Mrs. Chhabra: You are obviously wrong, everybody else got 6 and you got 3. What did you do, swallow half because you didn't eat lunch?

  Tags: chhabra

• #3681 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Struck: So after the War of 1812, the USA and Britain became friends again. It's like when your girlfriend breaks up with you and says, "We can still be friends." It's not true! I would know.

  Tags: struck

• #3441 + (+62)/86 - [ Report ]

  Luke: My parents said that I could have a girlfriend as long as we don't go too far.
  Victor: What, do they think you're going to run off to California or something?

• #3222 + (+62)/66 - [ Report ]

  // In gym class
  Kelsey: Are those guys freshmen?
  Luke: If they're freshmen, then why are they wearing clothes?
  Luke: ...
  Luke: I mean gym clothes.

• #3084 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  // In Computational Physics
  Dan: All I've *really* learned in this class is that energy doesn't actually have to be conserved... unless Dr. Dell is watching.

  Tags: dell physics

• #3056 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  *Cell phone rings in class*
  Mr. Torrence: Please give it to me.
  Mr. Torrence: *looks at cell phone* Ooh, it's a Virgin. I've always wanted one.

  Tags: torrence

• #2884 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Stegall: You're a wonderful person. You remind me of myself.

  Tags: stegall

• #1792 + (+62)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Upon entering the room
  Mr. Sacks: Well, the SOL is over, presentations are done, American Idol is finished, and Lost is over! We have nothing to talk about anymore!

  Tags: sacks

• #1711 + (+62)/68 - [ Report ]

  // After eating a large, very tasty meal
  N: I feel all warm and fuzzy inside
  D: Like you just ate a kitten?

• #1676 + (+62)/66 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus
  Jack Breese: *takes several dollar bills out of his wallet and stares at them in horror*
  Oh no, I've sold the root password for the MIPS cluster to Starbucks! I wrote it on a five dollar bill because I thought I'd never spend it... I must have given it to them when I asked for change!

  Tags: jack_breese

• #1555 + (+62)/76 - [ Report ]

  So this girl was walking away from me in the gym, and all of a sudden she took off her shirt and I was like "wtf!"  And then I realized it was Buddy.

• #1398 + (+62)/64 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Chhabra: Beau, why aren't you taking notes?
  Beau: Well, I don't need to take notes, it's Ren's turn.
  Mrs. Chhabra: That is bull... oney.

  Tags: chhabra

©2005-2015 Eric Harmon, Victor Mircea, Dan Tran, Nathan Watson.