Bottom Quotes
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#2412 + ()/82 - [ Report ]
A: ...Mr. Maney lost it in class the other day.
B *shocked*: He lost it?? Mr. Maney is like the happiest person ever!
A: No, no, I mean he lost it like he went crazy. He was just talking and all of the sudden he started calling us "my children" and saying how our grades were like little baby robins. That were going to die. -
#1115 + ()/90 - [ Report ]
// Persons A and B are walking down a crowded hallway
Person A: It's really crowded in this hallway.
Person B: We should apparate!
Person A: What's 'apparate'?
Person B: You're kidding, right? You don't know what 'apparate' is?
Person A: No...
Person B: How can you not know what 'apparate' is!
Person A: I'm not an SAT word freak like you! -
#4300 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// In Chem, discussing Schrödinger's cat experiment.
Kauffman: *takes out finger puppet*
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* Hey kids, I'm Schrödinger's cat!
Kauffman: Now, is the cat alive or dead?
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* I'm alive, kids!
Kauffman: *chucks puppet at floor*
Kauffman: It's dead. -
#2710 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Struck is asking/teasing A about her date to Homecoming and refers to him as her boyfriend
A: We're not going out!
Mr. Struck: Oh, are you one of those girls who rips a boy's heart out of his chest, still beating, throws it on the sidewalk and stomps all over it while he watches?
Mr. Struck: I've dated lots of girls like that.
Mr. Struck: Thankfully, one of them married me, so I'm okay. -
#1259 + ()/82 - [ Report ]
// After reading a seemingly random poem in English
Class: Mr. Green, why are we reading this poem? Are you going somewhere with it? What does it mean?
Mr. Green: Are you questioning my motives? Well, actually... we didn't have anything to do today... and I found this [poem] on the copier... I was desperate! -
#902 + ()/88 - [ Report ]
// On the first day of school, during our first ever PE class at TJ as freshmen. Mr. Potoker was finishing his explanation of what we would need to bring for PE.
Mr. Potoker: ...so that about wraps it up for what you will need to bring for PE. Are there any questions about what I just said?
Random boy: Will boys need to bring a cup?
*silence*
Mr. Potoker: What? You mean, like, to drink out of? -
#4461 + ()/87 - [ Report ]
// Talking about lab safety
Mr. Kauffman: This stuff will dissolve flesh. You must wear a lab coat. One year at McLean I had this gang banger as one of my students. He spilled acid on his crotch. But luckily for some reason this gang decided to wear plastic pants that day. So he was okay. -
#4086 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// Discussing life lessons on the last day of Diff Eq
Student: Tell us about an adventure.
Dr. Osborne: An adventure? I don't think I have any that are PG-13...
// Later that class
Student: Come on Dr. Osborne, there has to be something you did in college you can tell us!
Dr. Osborne: Very little of what I did in college was PG-13.
