Bottom Quotes
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#1028 + ()/116 - [ Report ]
Teddy: So I was on the late bus, waiting to leave.
Teddy: The driver starts the bus and it starts making this beeping sound every second or so. It sounds like a bomb.
Teddy: Then she does something and it starts beeping twice as fast.
Teddy: Then it suddenly cuts out.
Teddy: And the first thing that popped into my head was "Counter-Terrorists Win" -
#5238 + ()/89 - [ Report ]
// The class is studying an essay which they were supposed to read the night before. Nathan has not read it.
Ms. Colglazier: So Nathan, what's one thing that you found interesting in this essay?
**pause**
Nathan: **sheepishly** Ms. Colglazier...
Ms. Colglazier: Oh, go on, admit it.
Nathan: ...I did not have sexual relations with that woman. -
#1043 + ()/93 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the procedure for an experiment.
Mrs. Chhabra: Now folks, you only put the acid in bit by bit, see I'm not using a lot of acid!! this is not a lot of acid!! You know you're done when you put in more acid and it just sits there and looks at you. When the acid starts looking at you, you know you're done. -
#974 + ()/97 - [ Report ]
// In Dr. Dell's physics class, Junior year 2004. Dr. Dell has stepped out because he forgot the tests in another room. While gone, the class has conspired to pull a trick on he who they have affectionately dubbed "Captain Dell." We enter the quote as Dr. Dell returns to class.
Dr. Dell: Alright. Here we go.
Entire Class: *waves right hand in front of face, left to right, slowly* There IS no test.
*pause*
Dr. Dell: I hate you all. *begins to pass out test* -
#4545 + ()/90 - [ Report ]
// In Hum I English talking about when Mr. Williams worked at Lake Braddock
Mr. Williams: Actually, it was my first day of teaching 9th grade, and I forgot what 9th graders were like. There were two guys with hairless legs and booming voices and I thought "AHH, TRANSVESTITES!" -
#2380 + ()/95 - [ Report ]
// AP Physics, talking about capacitors
Dr. Dell: We are going to take a poll. You have three choices. You could pick the incorrect one, which is nothing happens. You could also pick the other incorrect one, which is that it gets flung out. Or you could pick the correct answer: it gets sucked in. So who says nothing happens?
No one: *raises their hand*
Dr. Dell: How about it gets flung out?
No one: *raises their hand*
Dr. Dell: How about it gets sucked in?
Two people: *raise their hands*
Dr. Dell: *kicks the desk*
Everyone: *raises their hands*
Dr. Dell: Nice to know we're all on the same page. -
#1629 + ()/97 - [ Report ]
// In the morning, studying for the Physics test
Kid 1: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Kid 2: Don't worry. I looked at the practice test, and all the problems are really easy. I really don't think that it'll be that bad.
Kid 1: Dr. Walker contributed a problem.
Kid 2: ... We're fucked. -
#5248 + ()/98 - [ Report ]
// During Multivar, discussion of some simple integrals
Dr. Osborne: You know, then you can just use the double angle identity here. You should have learned this in, what, 7th grade...or kindergarten, or whatever...
Student: What did YOU learn in kindergarten, Dr. Osborne?
