Bottom Quotes
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#573 + ()/137 - [ Report ]
// 2004 tech class, learning to strip the rubber off of wires
Mr. Randall: I'm going to have to watch you all strip now... I mean strip wire.
*students glance at each other*
Mr. Randall: I'm going to watch you girls strip first, um, strip wire. Let's see how fast you can strip. -
#4386 + ()/130 - [ Report ]
// During an AP Chem ideal gas laws lecture
Kauffman: And that's something you'll go into your freshman year chemistry class - Oh, by the way, if ever in the freshman year, some time in the middle of the night, you hear the chant, "Toga! Toga!" and you require an emergency toga, here's what you do.
*Proceeds to take out a bed sheet from nowhere and shows the class how to make an emergency toga in about 8 seconds*
Class: ...
*Almost gives Mr. Kauffman an ovation, but stops*
Kauffman: And now let's return to gas laws. Oh, and the bed sheet has to be twin sized. -
#4768 + ()/131 - [ Report ]
// In the syslab, at the end of lunch
// phone rings
Student: *picks up phone* Hello. You have reached the computer systems lab, room 115. To speak to a human, please press one. [in Spanish] For Spanish, press two. [in German] For German, press three. [in English again] To hear your options again press--Hello? Oh, he is not here right now. Can I take a message? -
#2693 + ()/144 - [ Report ]
// During Dr. Uston's AP Bio class learning about Absolute Zero-
Uston: Okay class, in absolute zero, the molecules do not move from place to place, they only vibrate.
Class: If the molecule vibrates, it will generate heat, therefore it cannot be absolute zero.
Uston: I taught physics... -
#5303 + ()/135 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes takes out a Newton's Cradle from Spencer's
Mr. Forbes: I've noticed that Spencer's sells three kinds of products: lava lamps, sex jokes, and science toys. So that means their target demographic is perverted, ex-hippie physics teachers.
Mr. Forbes: I don't know where they'll find any of those. -
#4263 + ()/139 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Osborne's Precalc class has just taken their first test of the year.
Dr. Osborne: There were many algebraic mistakes that people had made on this test. Such as...
*writes bunch of simple algebraic problems on the board and solves them in the wrong way*
Dr. Osborne: NOOOOO!!!
*furiously crosses them out*
Dr. Osborne: This kind of stuff is OFFENSIVE to me!
Dr. Osborne: I look at this and I go "OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!" -
#3128 + ()/136 - [ Report ]
A: So, marine biology went on this field trip to the Smithsonian research labs.
A: And I walked in there, and I felt right at home.
A: The corridors were narrow, poorly lit by fluorescent lights, and there were lots of research posters on the walls.
A: But there was one major difference.
A: I could understand all of the titles of their research projects. -
#3103 + ()/136 - [ Report ]
Blake: Mr. Majeske! You didn't get fired?!
Majeske: *headdesk*
Class: ...
Blake: Yeah, so yesterday I was just sitting in the hallway, minding my own business, and Mr. Majeske came over and kind of just loomed over me. So I said "Please don't kick me!" and he said "Okay, I'll just kick your bag instead," and he kicked my bag.
Majeske: And who should be behind me but Dr. Glazer... *sigh*
// Enter Mr. Hardison
Majeske: Can I help you?
Hardison: Just wanted to make sure you were still teaching! *smiles* -
#1633 + ()/136 - [ Report ]
Mr. Kummer: We could probably get a Satan Worshippers club... but see the school is clever about it. You have to have a sponsor! Who would sponsor that?!
*Class laughs*
Mr. Kummer: Well... there's always Dr. Dell...
*Class laughs*
Mr. Kummer: Don't quote me on that. If anyone asks, Mr. Torrence said it.
