Bottom Quotes
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#736 + ()/164 - [ Report ]
// Mr. McFaden is playing the Breakfast Game with Joel on the bus during a Geosys/English trip
Mr. McFaden: Joel, what did you have for breakfast yesterday before you came on the trip?
Joel: Ummmm, a banana, a muffin, and milk.
McFaden: What kind of muffin and milk?
Joel: A banana nut muffin and 1% milk.
McFaden: Where did you get your muffin from?
Joel: My girlfriend made some for me.
McFaden: Where did you get your milk?
Andrew Yang: His girlfriend. -
#2243 + ()/182 - [ Report ]
Luke Cheng: So you know in Star Wars where Palpatine is all like "I AM the Senate!"
Renjie You: Yeah...?
Luke Cheng: So I was thinking, what if the Hungarian president wanted to declare war on like Germany and his cabinet was like "You need the consent of the people of Hungary...!" and he was like "I AM HUNGARY"
Renjie You: You're retarded. -
#493 + ()/166 - [ Report ]
// Francisco hands in chem test long before anyone else is done
Mrs. Chhabra: Fransisco, you didn't do the back page.
Francisco: Yeah, I know.
Mrs. Chhabra: Well, why not?
Francisco: Because I wasn't paying attention when you showed us how to do it.
Mrs. Chhabra: Oh, well that's good. -
#1281 + ()/188 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Zack's AP Gov classes are participating in a model Congress. They have just passed a pro-choice (abortion) bill.
Matt: Mr. Speaker?
John: Yes, Mr. Christian.
Matt: Mr. Speaker, I move that we suspend the rules and move bill H. R. 17 up to the next order of business.
Mr. Zack: Matt, you need to say the bill number AND title.
Matt: Oh, H. R. 17 the... *looks at paper* Maidenhead Recovery Act.
*class bursts out laughing*
Matt: I mean, uh... *looks at paper again* Menhaden! Menhaden Recovery Act! -
#2239 + ()/165 - [ Report ]
// Discussing an open-note test coming up in AP Biology with Dr. Uston
Student: Dr. Uston, are we allowed to print notes from the internet?
Dr. Uston: NO! And I'll know if you did or not.
Student: How?
Dr. Uston: I'll see the ASTERPOOT!
Students: ...?
Dr. Uston: You know when you print documents from the internet they have those lines at the bottom? The asterpoots? -
#4090 + ()/169 - [ Report ]
// Doctor's office, day before physics final, three days before the end of junior year.
Doctor: You look tired. Why?
Father: She hasn't been getting very much sleep at all since Spring Break, in March.
Doctor: (angry) Why not?!
Student: I'm a junior at Thomas Jefferson.
Doctor: Oh, okay. -
#3840 + ()/169 - [ Report ]
// Talking about electronics class
Craig: So on the first day of class, I thought I put a 1k ohm resistor in my circuit. The thing was, it was only a 1 ohm resistor. It exploded and there was an inch long jet of flame coming out of the side directed at my finger...
Harry: OHMed!!!!! -
#1671 + ()/197 - [ Report ]
// Phil has been kept awake at night for weeks because of this question...
Phil (suggestively): How did AIDS get transmitted from monkeys to humans?
Several people: Oh, gross.
Mr. Sacks: Phil, did you ever consider that maybe someone just got monkey blood on them while having an open wound?
Phil: Oh, come on, how often do you get /monkey blood/ all over you?
Mr. Sacks: Well, maybe the monkey got angry and threw his feces at the human with the open wound.
Phil: It's not transmitted through feces...
Mr. Sacks: Well, blood-covered feces, then.
Phil: ...
Mr. Sacks: Or maybe the monkeys dressed up in human clothes and tricked the young girls in the villages...
Phil: ...
Mr. Sacks: ...Come on, /anything/ but that.
Phil: I guess it just gets lonely down there in Africa...
