Bottom Quotes
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#1149 + ()/207 - [ Report ]
// In the middle of physics
*Dr. Dell is standing in the doorway staring at Mr. Bagden*
Mr. Badgen: Dr. Dell?
Dr. Dell: Give me $10.
Mr. Badgen: Is this for your heroin habit? Didn't you try to stop? I thought it was twenty.
Dr. Dell: No, that's for a different girl. This is for your second favorite girl... no third...wait, fourth favorite. *takes money and leaves*
Student: That was sketchy.
Mr. Badgen: There are so many inappropriate jokes I could say right now but I can't. -
#3281 + ()/200 - [ Report ]
// A couple months after #3110
// There is a horsefly in calculus class
Ms. Spoden: Oh, this is a big one. I think the calculus textbook won't be good enough; let's get the linear algebra one!
Spoden: *gets linear algebra textbook, chases the fly around a bit*
// The fly lands on the window
Spoden: Ah, got it now!
Aviv: You're gonna break the...!
// *smash*
Spoden: OMG!
Spoden: THAT WAS AWESOME!
// Under the glass shards and abandoned textbook, the fly is, in fact, dead -
#3272 + ()/198 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Latimer is complaining that no one listens to research project presentations
Mr. Latimer: If a Systems Lab student gives a presentation in a forest, and no one listens, did they give their presentation?
Nick: How would you get a Syslab kid that far away from a computer to begin with? -
#1614 + ()/201 - [ Report ]
// A student forgot to sign in to one of Mr. Stueben's 8th pds...
Student: Will you sign my paper saying I was there?
Stueben: This is from over a month ago! What are you thinking?! This is the last time I'll sign forms for you! You are an idiot, waiting so long...
Stueben: *takes paper from student and writes:
"Student was here on so and so a day. He is an idiot."
-M. Stueben*
Student: *Takes paper and slowly walks away* -
#1594 + ()/221 - [ Report ]
// In Ms. Orser's English class, having a serious class discussion about stem cell research
Kevin D: Embryonic stem cell research is taking away the potential for new life of the embryo.
David: Wait... I dont understand why everyone keeps saying 'potential'. If you have a guy and a girl in the same room then you have potential.
Ms. Orser: Everybody stay seated! -
#5365 + ()/203 - [ Report ]
// Highlights for the TJ-Marshall Game of the Week are being shown on CBS, a game that got 23,000 votes on the website, the second most in Game of the Week history
Anchor: You might wonder how that happens between a 2-11 team and a 4-8 team. Well, we're talking about Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, where all the students are issued iPads, and apparently they know how to use them. -
#1706 + ()/235 - [ Report ]
E: See, my theory is that when you come to TJ and learn all these complex algorithms and other stuff, you lose the ability to add or subtract or do other basic things.
K: I think I know what you mean. There are days when I can't add 7 and 5 to make 13.
E: ...You mean twe--
K: OH GOD! YOU'RE RIGHT! -
#2676 + ()/212 - [ Report ]
//First day of HUM 1, Mr. Williams is going around the class asking people what distinguishes them from everyone else
Mr. Williams: So Asha, what's special about you?
Asha: I don't know...
Mr. Williams: Okay, say Asha was really happy one day. So she's so jolly that she runs out of school and skips across Braddock Road. At the same time, Katherine is driving down Braddock Road and sees Asha skipping across. She thinks, "Oh Asha, that bitch! I hate her!" and runs her over. Asha, what would people say about you at your funeral? -
#3265 + ()/222 - [ Report ]
// During Word of the Day in English
Erin: My word is "masticate", which means to chew. I picked it because I like the way it sounds.
Ms. Bello: Does anyone want to use the word in a sentence?
Erin: I masticate every day.
Tim: I masticate 3 or 4 times per day. I even masticate with my friends.
Bello: Good job, guys.
Tim: Would you like to masticate with me, Logan?
Logan: *laughing too hard to answer*
Erin: Do you think you masticate too much, Tim?
Tim: There's no such thing as too much mastication. -
#3630 + ()/210 - [ Report ]
// During USVA HUM with Mr. Struck
// Talking about reading the morning paper and how Mr. Struck doesn't read the horoscopes
Struck: I don't believe in horoscopes...
Kummer: Mine said I'd have a surge of happy things in the next 3 days...
Kummer: It's 10:42 and I'm still waiting...
*Collin Hennegan gets up and gives Mr. Kummer a hug*
Kummer: I appreciate that...but I was expecting more...
Struck: Uh...Mr. Kummer, he's underage... -
#2661 + ()/213 - [ Report ]
// In the band room, talking about what we're going to do because of the rain
Ms. Ulrey: How about this . . . take off your uniforms, we'll go in street clothes, but keep the white puffy-paint shirts on.
Kevin: *raises hand* Ms. Ulrey, for the girls sake, it's a white shirt, and it's raining.
Schwank: You're not supposed to tell her that!
