Bottom Quotes
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#1210 + ()/358 - [ Report ]
// In physics, a discussion about energy. Mr. Bagden swore to stay out of the discussion and let the students run it.
Michael Romais: So, what about scenario 5? The one with the person tanning.
Megan Behm: It's just like the ice-cube melting in the sun one, except it's a person. And the person's not melting.
[name withheld]: What if it's the Abominable Snowman?
Megan: The Abominable Snowman isn't actually a snowman, it's a person!
// The entire class breaks into a chaotic discussion about yetis
Betty Luo (whispering to Myles Maxfield): I think we broke Mr. Bagden.
// Mr. Bagden is sitting in the back of the classroom with his head in his hands -
#2398 + ()/321 - [ Report ]
// Mrs. Chhabra is explaining the spectral lines lab. Sophomores are gathered around a Bunsen burner.
Mrs. Chhabra: You're going to see three different colored lines. One is red, one is purple, and one is teal. It's not green, it's not blue; I have students who say to me 'Mrs. Chhabra this is green' or 'this is blue' and I don't know how you can look at it and say that, it's teal! Like those ducks, you know? Those ducks! The ones with, you know, the heads that are teal? It's like those. I hate those ducks! They always cross the road in front of you and they look at you like 'ha ha, you have to wait for me' and you want to run them over but you can't! And...
*continues for some time* -
#4756 + ()/306 - [ Report ]
// Mr. McFaden is explaining homologous chromosomes
Mr. McFaden: You know how each chromosome matches the other one, just like your hands? I'll show you...
*holds out his pinkies* You've got your homologous pinkies...
*ring fingers* Ring fingers...
*middle fingers* Communicators... -
#1356 + ()/323 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You all don't know how hard it is for me to grade these papers.
Chris: So why don't you just ...stop?
Dr. Dell: Well, I realized that I needed to grade the papers while I was watching the Goblet of Fire. I was watching Dumbledore as the tournament was about to start and he said 'Now is the time that we must choose between what is right, and what is easy.' And I thought, 'I actually have to grade these papers.' -
#2415 + ()/319 - [ Report ]
// AP bio during Dr. Uston's first year
Dr. Uston: So class, this is a plant cell.
Student: Ummm Dr. Uston... it isn't square...
Dr. Uston: Oh, that's okay. Not all plant cells are rectangular. It's green! That means it has chloroplasts!
Class: Ummmm, actually we dont see any organelles...
*Dr. Uston keeps talking*
// 5 minutes later
Student: Oh look! There's the plant cell! See that label ABOVE the cell you're describing? This is a frog egg...
Dr. Uston: Okay, then so class, this is a plant cell.
Class: *stops listening for the rest of the year* -
#1699 + ()/355 - [ Report ]
Mr. Forbes: You know why all your teachers are leaving? Because they're old! You know why they're old? Because this school hires people with experience.
Tom: What about Mr. Bagden?
Mr. Forbes: Mr. Bagden is special. He's secretly an elf. He was born two thousand years ago and has been growing younger ever since. -
#198 + ()/365 - [ Report ]
// During a crew practice, calling out the strokes w/ pauses. We just passed a girl's boat that was badly messing up.
Graham (yelling): ROW! ... ROW! ... ROW!
Graham (whispering, annoyed): Everyone's looking at the fucking girl's boat and not paying any fucking attention...
Graham (yelling again): FUCK! er.. ROW! -
#2256 + ()/326 - [ Report ]
// Senior switch day in physics
Mr. (Colmer) Bagden: For our final demo, I'll give this dollar to the first person who volunteers to kiss the Van De Graaff Generator.
*A few people look willing but unsure*
Mr. (actual) Bagden: You know, instead of the dollar I'll give you a bonus point...
*Half of the class immediately raise their hands*
Mr. Bagden: ...Just kidding, but I want you to see how sad that is. -
#3897 + ()/351 - [ Report ]
// In physics class
Lawrence: Why do we use epsilon? K is so much better!
Dr. Dell: Take it back! Repeat after me: "epsilon naught is good, K is bad!"
Lawrence: No!
Dr. Dell: *Gets out some drill thing* I got this from Japan. It's a disciplinary device. You can't get it here 'cause it's illegal. *Puts it against a piece of paper, the paper lights on fire.*
Dr. Dell: SAY IT!! EPSILON NAUGHT IS GOOD!! K IS BAD!! -
#2639 + ()/353 - [ Report ]
//AP US History
//Mr. Sleete talks about funny AP US essays he has graded for College Board
Essay: Okay, I know absolutely nothing about this subject, but there is a really hot girl sitting across from me, so I need to keep writing in order to look smart. I am going to tell you my life story.... -
#1017 + ()/376 - [ Report ]
Mr. Stueben: It has come to my attention that some students do not like my quizzes. Consequently, until morale improves, all quiz questions will be written in Mandarin Chinese. Good luck!
DIRECTIONS: Choose the best answer to the following question from the choices below.
(Chinese text you don't need to know to solve it)
A. All of the below.
B. None of the below.
C. All of the above.
D. One of the above.
E. None of the above.
F. None of the above. -
#1069 + ()/392 - [ Report ]
// In history, during a Constitutional Convention role-play...
Ben (James Madison): I'll defer to Dr. Franklin, as my wife loves his stoves.
Arian (Benjamin Franklin): Oh, that's not all she loves!
Mrs. Vallone (George Washington): Of course, he's referring to his lightning rod.
