Bottom Quotes
-
#2318 + ()/374 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes is doing a brief intro lecture on electricity
Forbes: So of the four fundamental forces of the universe, electricity is the only one we can do much with. Anything an electron can do, we can /make/ it do.
// Power goes out
Forbes: So as I was saying, we are the MASTERS of electricity! -
#1842 + ()/454 - [ Report ]
// During summer school lecture
Dr. Acio: So when we're doing labs, I play music, I let kids bring in their iPods and I allow everything except rap. So one day I go look on someone's iPod screen and it says 'Yo Yo Ma' so I go to the kid and say "I told you no rap music" and the kid's sitting there insisting that it's not and I say "it says Yo Yo Ma" and the kid's like "that's his name." -
#1446 + ()/512 - [ Report ]
// Discussing electrostatic charges in Physics; Cliff put his hand near a ping-pong ball which was charged and hanging from a ceiling, and when he put his hand near it, the ball swung towards him.
Mr. Bagden: Look at that, it's moving towards you. Can you tell me why?
Cliff: Because it's attracted to me?
Mr. Bagden: And why is that?
Cliff: ...because I'm beautiful? -
#1609 + ()/482 - [ Report ]
Student: Mr.Stueben, do you want a mint?
Mr. Stueben: No, I never take candy from students in case it's poisoned.
Student: What about a wrapped Snickers bar?
Mr. Stueben: I would still take it home and feed it to my dog first, to test it.
Mr. Stueben: I have lost 3 dogs that way.
Me: You know chocolate is poisonous to dogs, right?
Mr. Stueben: Now you tell me! So late in my career! -
#1693 + ()/499 - [ Report ]
// In the middle of Spanish, Brendan passes a note to Nolan
Nolan: Sra. Pou, I think you should read this note Brendan passed me...
Brendan: No! I didn't write that!
Sra. Pou: (reading note to class) "Tu madre es gordo y homosexuál". Very well done, the note is even in Spanish! You even put an accent in homosexual! Now, the only thing wrong with it is it should be gorda, not gordo since it is tu madre, which is feminine. Muy bien!
// Sra. Pou hands note back to Nolan, Brendan sighs in relief. -
#2365 + ()/559 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the upcoming Level 2 crisis drill
Ethan: Yeah, we're like number 38 on the list of the 50 most likely spots for a terrorist attack.
Mr. Struck: Really?
Ethan: Yeah, I think it's because if the SysLab gets taken out then the pentagon loses internet or something. -
#2777 + ()/565 - [ Report ]
// Talking about Angelina Jolie being Grendel's mom in the new Beowulf movie
Connor: Well I mean, it's gotta be harder for Beowulf now. I mean you look at a big ugly monster and your first thought is "stab it!" You look at a soaking wet Angelina Jolie and your first thought is--
Siggi: Still "Stab i-"
Mr. Miller: STOP THERE. -
#2856 + ()/693 - [ Report ]
// There has been midnight vandalism in the neighborhood. The police are interviewing a TJ kid's mom.
Police: Do you have any children?
Mom: Yes, I have two.
Police: And what ages are they?
Mom: Sixteen, and -
Police: *suddenly interested* And what school does he go to?
Mom: Thomas Jefferson.
Police: Oh, never mind.
