Bottom Quotes
-
#2546 + ()/42 - [ Report ]
// The questions at a "transitioning to college" seminar for seniors, and some of the responses suggested by the students
What can you do to make the transition easier for your parents once you get to college?
Wear a condom.
What can you do to make the transition easier for you once you get to college?
Don't wear a condom.
What can you do to prepare for college before you go?
Build up a tolerance.
Once you're at college, how do you know when to go to see a doctor?
When the burning starts. -
#624 + ()/16 - [ Report ]
HellHawk123: my new opening line is
HellHawk123: "shall we have sexual intercourse now, or shall we have sexual intercourse at a later time of your discretion?"
erin x kristin: ....
HellHawk123: isn't that awesome?
HellHawk123: now in the best case, the said girl will then tear off all her clothes, and pull me passionately into some dark closet
erin x kristin: ...
HellHawk123: in the worst case
HellHawk123: she'll mace me
erin x kristin: well then best of luck to you
HellHawk123: maybe she'll pull me into a dark closet and mace me
HellHawk123: you know, give a little, take a little
erin x kristin: understandable. -
#621 + ()/22 - [ Report ]
// On the last day of school, 5th period orchestra wrote a joint story, with each person contributing one word at a time.
"One day, the sun died. It exploded and then screamed, "SUN SCREEN!" Suddenly, rabbits frantically hopped along. The psychological pie smoking pot spontaneously combusted. Then Superman gaily flagged the vampiric squashed eggplant. It grew ginormous in 16.72 eons, but its navel grew lint suspiciously. Chickens participated quantitatively in the mud observation of monumental importance. The kinky Dorito ate chains hanging upside down from its perch. Smelly monkeys flew uproariously upward while the flip flops exponentially increased the eggplant's navel debris. Desert squirrels eat piano keys while playing accordions on top of the strongest bark chip from the world's skinniest tree. Then I awoke regretting I had inhaled so much violin cleaner vicariously."
