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• #3476 + (+218)/218 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Ero: My kids' middle names are from Shakespearean characters. For example, I have a son named Steven Horatio Ero.
  Mr. Ero: ... What a bitchin' good name.
  Mr. Ero: *whispers* He's going to score a lot when he gets older.

  Tags: ero

• #3475 + (+9)/53 - [ Report ]

  // In TA. Dr. Acio is calling out people who need to turn in books from last year
  Dr. Acio: Emma, you owe-oh my god!

  Tags: acio emma_pierson

• #3471 + (+9)/19 - [ Report ]

  // In Chesapeake Bay Club discussing nudibranches and spanish dancers, types of sea slugs
  A: So today we'll be talking about nudi-dancers... err... no we're not.

• #3466 + (+42)/60 - [ Report ]

  // Random chitchat on AIM about schedules
  A: You know, maybe Uston's like Windows Vista - people trash her without ever being in her class.

  Tags: uston

• #3457 + (+44)/46 - [ Report ]

  <nuero> i think there's a movie about the struggles of growing up an amish teenager in today's world, on tv
  <nuero> it'll inspire amish teenagers across the country
  <nuero> or, oh, wait

• #3456 + (+2)/36 - [ Report ]

  <joe[boned]> why do people say "take a shit?"
  <joe[boned]> where are you taking it?
  <joe[boned]> why are you taking it? leave it there please!!

• #3449 + (+109)/115 - [ Report ]

  // Summer Chemistry, 2008, Dr. Acio is lecturing
  
  Acio: Some of my students last year said that I should sing songs when I hand back their tests. So I thought *starts singing* "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" or even better yet "and another bites the dust, and another one gone and another one gone..." *mimes handing out papers*

  Tags: acio chemistry

• #3444 + (−26)/98 - [ Report ]

  <qwert> Hi, I found this cool new ubuntu program that I need for my project but it's refusing to work.
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert What is the name
  <qwert> Jack_Sparrow: the name is spoon
  <Jack_Sparrow> !info spoon
  <ubottu> Package spoon does not exist in hardy
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert So it is not from our repos?
  <qwert> Yeah.
  <qwert> The error says "file too big"
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert Did it say specifically for Ubuntu where you downloaded it
  <qwert> Yeah it did.
  <qwert> But it keeps saying file too big when I try to run it.
  <Jack_Sparrow> Have a link handy
  <qwert> No I don't.. sorry.
  <qwert> I really need help for this though.. Apparently spoon is too big :(
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert Then I doubt anyone will be able to help..
  <qwert> But my spoon is too big!
  <Fran89> lol
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert Not from our repos and you dont have a link to it..  = No help
  <qwert> I found a link!
  <qwert> http://tinyurl.com/5mgdum
  <qwert> My spoon is too big :(
  <Jack_Sparrow> qwert that is not a link to the file
  <qwert> Jack_Sparrow: It isn't? oh sorry.
  * ChanServ gives channel operator status to Jack_Sparrow
  * You have left channel #ubuntu (requested by Jack_Sparrow)

• #3441 + (+62)/86 - [ Report ]

  Luke: My parents said that I could have a girlfriend as long as we don't go too far.
  Victor: What, do they think you're going to run off to California or something?

• #3435 + (+53)/65 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Auerbach is checking CS final projects - a and b have made MASH
  Mr. Auerbach: What!? I have no kids?
  Mr. Auerbach: But I'm married to Scarlett Johansson.
  A: ... If you live in a shack, you won't have Scarlett Johansson.
  Mr. Auerbach: She loves me for my inner beauty.

  Tags: auerbach

• #3430 + (+54)/62 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Gecan has assigned yet another project with a week left in school
  Matt Palko: ...But why Mrs. Gecan?!
  Mrs. Gecan: Because we hate you! Hahaha! There! I can say it because the year's almost over!

  Tags: gecan

• #3428 + (+64)/74 - [ Report ]

  // In health class, discussing an STD test
  Dr. Deivert: Many people said that sexual contact is the only way to get an STD, but that's not true. You can also get an STD from eating certain foods.
  Class: What?!
  Dr. D: Yeah, for example, carrots, hot dogs, sausages...

  Tags: deivert health

• #3427 + (+41)/47 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Struck: So how would you guys stop world hunger?
  Andrew: Get Kushal to stop eating...
  Mr. Struck: Good solution.

  Tags: struck

• #3423 + (−5)/53 - [ Report ]

  // In the morning by the buses
  Ms. Holliday: TGIM!! Thank GOD it's Monday!

  Tags: holliday triangle_lady

• #3421 + (+80)/84 - [ Report ]

  // Handing back math tests
  Mr. Berry: There's only a number on the top saying how many you got wrong. I didn't have the heart to put grades on them.

  Tags: berry

• #3418 + (+193)/197 - [ Report ]

  // During FLE, Hareesh is acting predictably
  Hareesh: That's what she said!
  Someone: Hareesh, stop!
  Mrs. Rosenblum: _That's_ what she said.
  Class: O.O
  Zack: Nice one, Mrs. Rosenblum.
  Mrs. Rosenblum: Thank you.

  Tags: rosenblum

• #3414 + (+27)/37 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Dr. Strangelove
  Mr. Sacks: Someone give me an example of something turgid.
  Student: Like...a wooden board?
  Mr. Sacks: Yeah.....or....an ERECT PENIS!

  Tags: sacks

• #3412 + (−6)/18 - [ Report ]

  A: You know how portable media players are called PMPs? They should make it interactive and call it the portable interactive media player, or the PIMP.
  B: Isn't that a PSP?

• #3405 + (+13)/27 - [ Report ]

  // Related to quote 3320; Mr. Torrence is trying to remember an old student's name
  Mr. T: Um... It starts with a D...
  Surbhi: Samantha!
  Mr. T: Yes! Samantha! Wait...
  Prianka: Um. I'm Prianka.
  Mr. T: Surbhi!
  Surbhi: What? It worked with Jonathan...

  Tags: torrence

• #3402 + (+53)/57 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Sleete's class is compiling a list of the most significant events in US history from 1998 to 2008. For fun, they add some "insignificant" events too.
  Student: We were going to put "Mr. Sleete receives his first AARP magazine" on the list, but it didn't fall within the decade.
  Mr. Sleete: So cruel, but it's true.

  Tags: apush sleete

• #3401 + (+14)/26 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Lamb: Washington had to worry about the British arriving in 6 weeks. During the Cold War we had to worry about Soviet missiles arriving in 15 minutes.
  Mr. Lamb: In 6 weeks you could get Congress together... In 15 minutes they can't get out of the men's room!

  Tags: government lamb

• #3398 + (+39)/45 - [ Report ]

  // Class gets their comparative religion tests on primal religions back
  // Mr. Lamb writes "Diseased" on the blackboard
  Mr. Lamb: Pratik, what does that say?
  Pratik: "Diseased."
  Mr. Lamb: Okay, because on the test you wrote about ancestor veneration and how people worship the diseased...
  Mr. Lamb: "Oh ye with pox!"

  Tags: lamb pratik_patel

• #3395 + (+3)/27 - [ Report ]

  Amy: I was gonna say, well quit your day job, but then I realized this IS your day job.
  // Awkward pause
  Ms. Ulrey: ...Lincolnshire movement 4.

  Tags: amy_plunk ulrey

• #3383 + (+73)/75 - [ Report ]

  // Latin 3.  Note: Ms. Conklin was not being sarcastic.
  Ms. Conklin: *tries to say something. It comes out garbled. She tries again, and it garbles again*
  Ms. Conklin: I am retarded speaking ability.

  Tags: conklin

• #3382 + (+79)/81 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about a field trip to D.C.
  Class: Because of the new law, are we not allowed to bring handguns to D.C.?
  Mr. Kelly: Let's make a no handgun rule.
  Mr. Kelly: Leave your handguns here at school.

  Tags: kelly

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