Quote Browser
-
#3297 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
Mr. Majeske: They like to rotate around the chairs of the committees, so they can get pictures of all of them holding the victorious gavel. They send those pictures back to the voters in their districts and they say "Dang, look at him with his gavel! I don't have a gosh-darn clue what that guy does but he sure looks good with that gavel. I'm going to vote for him so he can stay with the gavel longer." Isn't that sad?
-
#3289 + ()/86 - [ Report ]
Sra Pou: I calculated, and I found out that I'd make more money at McDonald's than here.
Class: !!!
Sra. Pou: And I'd get benefits! Free meals!
A: And you speak Spanish.
Sra Pou: Hey, you're right! Wait, that's racist... *pauses*
Sra Pou: Well then, I'd have a better chance of being a supervisor. -
#3284 + ()/40 - [ Report ]
Orange throat males are the most aggressive and defend large territories that contain many females. Blue-throat males defend smaller territories and fewer females. Yellow-throats are nonterritorial males that mimic females and use "sneaky" tactics to obtain matings.
-AP Bio Textbook -
#3281 + ()/200 - [ Report ]
// A couple months after #3110
// There is a horsefly in calculus class
Ms. Spoden: Oh, this is a big one. I think the calculus textbook won't be good enough; let's get the linear algebra one!
Spoden: *gets linear algebra textbook, chases the fly around a bit*
// The fly lands on the window
Spoden: Ah, got it now!
Aviv: You're gonna break the...!
// *smash*
Spoden: OMG!
Spoden: THAT WAS AWESOME!
// Under the glass shards and abandoned textbook, the fly is, in fact, dead -
#3277 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Torrence is talking about the Cedarfest riots and has just cleverly referred to beer as a "social lubricant."
Mr. Torrence: However, I would warn you not to use beer as any other type of lubricant.
Mr. Torrence: It _will_ _not_ _work._
Mr. Torrence: ...
Mr. Torrence: ...I am talking about in your car, of course. -
#3272 + ()/198 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Latimer is complaining that no one listens to research project presentations
Mr. Latimer: If a Systems Lab student gives a presentation in a forest, and no one listens, did they give their presentation?
Nick: How would you get a Syslab kid that far away from a computer to begin with? -
#3270 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
urmomsface7: you know what you need?
urmomsface7: a proshmandovka
OxyMoronic11: A what?
urmomsface7: it's russian for manwhore
OxyMoronic11: I don't want a manwhore...
urmomsface7: i meant it to mean like
urmomsface7: a boy who is awesome
urmomsface7: but b/c it's me
urmomsface7: it came out manwhore
urmomsface7: .....and in russian
