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• #2761 + (+80)/108 - [ Report ]

  // At the start of AP Biology class
  Dr. Uston: We will not have class on Wednesday because you will be taking the PTSA.

  Tags: uston

• #2760 + (+65)/71 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Orenstein (frustrated at the class): Come on guys! When you look at the these problems they should be screaming at you "DO ME!"

  Tags: orenstein

• #2759 + (+64)/76 - [ Report ]

  // While "Clean Up" is being played during lunch
  Jeff: Do you agree with me that the school is secretly run by a bunch of sadistic preschoolers?

  Tags: tj

• #2758 + (+33)/39 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Chhabra: Now, some of you might have heard that I enjoy taking off points.
  Ms. Chhabra: THAT'S BULL.

  Tags: chhabra

• #2757 + (+6)/20 - [ Report ]

  // Looking at a backdrop of the Taj Mahal on the field
  Jack: Hey look it's a Russian castle!!

  Tags: jack_breese tjmc

• #2753 + (+35)/45 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Stueben: So you first bring the x down to the ground so you can stab it to death...

  Tags: stueben

• #2752 + (+64)/72 - [ Report ]

  // During AP Physics class
  Dr. Dell: When doing a problem involving forces, what is the first thing you do?
  Harry: Look at the answers at the back of the book?

  Tags: dell physics

• #2750 + (+140)/146 - [ Report ]

  // During Physics Team
  Greyson Lewis: Electrons have no mass when they're not moving.
  Aryan Khojandi: Yes, they do. They have a rest mass.
  Naren Tallapagrade: Yeah, they have a rest mass of 0.5 MeV/(c^2).
  Greyson Lewis: But--
  Dr. Dell: YOUR MOTHER HAS MASS!

  Tags: dell physics

• #2749 + (+26)/30 - [ Report ]

  // During summer chemistry
  Mr. Kauffman: I usually keep about 10 percent of my currency in gold because governments have a way of making money disappear...

  Tags: kauffman

• #2747 + (+16)/24 - [ Report ]

  // During 7th period AP Chemistry, talking about combustion analysis
  Dr. Jones: So we're going to take this compound and we're going to beat the crap out of it with heat.

  Tags: chemistry jones

• #2746 + (+56)/58 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Dell: We respect the Greeks for being the founders of the basis of science, at least in the west, and we use their alphabet, from the great alpha to the omega...
  Dr. Dell: ...which are what I would have named my kids if my wife had agreed.

  Tags: dell physics

• #2745 + (+35)/39 - [ Report ]

  // During 5th period AP Physics, talking about simple harmonic motion
  Dr. Dell: That's OMEGA. It's not a FREAKING 'W'. *Puts on redneck accent* If you dink dat's a dubble-you y'all prolly not from 'round here.

  Tags: dell physics

• #2744 + (+64)/72 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Orser: Your writing should be, my favorite word, provocative. Now, when you hear provocative, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?
  Collin Hennegan: Psh, SEX!!
  Mic Byrne: Actually, I think about little bears in the jungle.
  Class: *Turns to look at Mic*
  Mic Byrne: No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant like, when they have those signs that say "Don't provoke the animals..."

  Tags: english orser

• #2742 + (+24)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Celebrating a birthday in the Gecan/Waterfall HUM
  Waterfall: Well, Ms. Gecan is out sick today, so the picture and birthday hat will have to wait until she gets back.
  Student: Why?
  Waterfall: *points to big padlock and chain locking cabinet shut*
  Waterfall: ...and I didn't bring my pistol in today...

  Tags: gecan waterfall

• #2734 + (−16)/20 - [ Report ]

  // Trying to catch sunrise; we got up too early
  A: I know I got the date right - October 14.
  R: Are you sure you got the right year, 2007? Wait, I mean 2008.
  Others: ...
  R: ...Crap.

• #2733 + (0)/18 - [ Report ]

  Bobby Kogan: Are you thinking about Brandeis?
  Daniel Epstein: No.
  Bobby: Why not?
  Daniel: I'm not that Jewish.

  Tags: bobby_kogan daniel_epstein

• #2732 + (+14)/28 - [ Report ]

  // About to follow the rest of the band into the ocean on a freezing night
  S. Mike: Ah, high school.  The art of doing stupid things because your friends are.

  Tags: band

• #2728 + (+33)/43 - [ Report ]

  // To answer the question everybody's been talking about...
  Monica: Why did you name it Fried Cat Studios?
  Gabe: Because you can't grill a cat...

• #2727 + (+40)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Kennedy slips out of class. He quickly returns with a cookie.
  Some people: COOKIE!!!
  Somebody: Wait, we can eat in the lab?
  Dr. K: I try to discourage it. *nibbles on cookie*

  Tags: kennedy

• #2726 + (+35)/41 - [ Report ]

  // During a Test
  Smith: If we misspell something...
  Mr. Majeske: You will die.

  Tags: majeske

• #2724 + (+127)/127 - [ Report ]

  // Physics problems that ask if something is possible
  Dr. Dell: No one in their right mind would put that on a test. It would take too long.
  Student: Are you in your right mind, Dr. Dell?
  Dr. Dell: ...I won't put it on the test.

  Tags: dell physics

• #2719 + (+22)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Critiquing essays from 8th graders in English
  Ms. Stegall: Yeah, really, they're great kids, really nice, even if they can't write worth a damn.

  Tags: stegall

• #2718 + (−12)/46 - [ Report ]

  Asian Girl:  Oh my gosh, my hair looks soooo bad today!
  Blonde Girl: No it doesn't!  I LOVE Asian hair!
  *long pause as Blonde Girl contemplates this*
  Blonde Girl: When I grow up, I'm going to get my scalp replaced with an Asian scalp!

• #2717 + (−2)/32 - [ Report ]

  // While watching Reign of Fire
  
  Ian: They're going to starve themselves! They're stupid!
  Amy: Well, they ARE Dragons, all they do is burn shit, eat, and breed.
  Ashley: Like babies!

  Tags: amy_plunk ashley_ganskopp ian_plunk

• #2715 + (+3)/21 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus
  Danny: Corpus Cavernosa
  Sam: That sounds like a Harry Potter spell!
  Danny: ... You do know what it is, right?
  Sam: Yeah, duh! *does little gesture with index finger* CORPUS CAVERNOSA! *does finger thing again*
  Danny: Dude, that'd be like magical Viagra!

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