Quote Browser
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#2679 + ()/23 - [ Report ]
// In Geosystems
Joshua: So the menosphere isn't absorbing anything, and the menopause is the boundary between the thermosphere and the menosphere...
Joshua: Damn. I mean the mesosphere and mesopause....
// The next class
Jack: Now, how do you explain what the temperature is during the menopause?
Joshua: Don't you mean the mesopause? -
#2676 + ()/212 - [ Report ]
//First day of HUM 1, Mr. Williams is going around the class asking people what distinguishes them from everyone else
Mr. Williams: So Asha, what's special about you?
Asha: I don't know...
Mr. Williams: Okay, say Asha was really happy one day. So she's so jolly that she runs out of school and skips across Braddock Road. At the same time, Katherine is driving down Braddock Road and sees Asha skipping across. She thinks, "Oh Asha, that bitch! I hate her!" and runs her over. Asha, what would people say about you at your funeral? -
#2674 + ()/63 - [ Report ]
Mr. Sacks: So hypothetically, if you're 22 and you have a wife and a child, and absolutely nothing else in modern day and you're given the choice to go back in time and become a hunter-gatherer, do you do it?
Someone: You have a wife right?
Mr. Sacks: Well she's more of a mating partner.
Sam Zhang: Can you have multiple mating partners?
-laughter-
Eric, smiling: So you're sleeping in a car?
Mr. Sacks: Eric's like, 'Yeah! I'm sleeping with a woman!'
Mr. Williams: Oh, that happened to me once... -
#2673 + ()/20 - [ Report ]
// AP Gov, reviewing the history behind the Constitution
Mr. Torrence: Now, does anyone remember which state did not attend the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia? Which state wouldn't want to change the status quo?
Student: Rhode Island?
Mr. Torrence: Yes! Because Rhode Island is small! Tiny! It's like a pimple on Massachusetts's face!
Class: *laughs*
Mr. Torrence (continuing): Rhode Island is a pustule! It's just sitting there, waiting for someone to take a needle and--
Class: STOP. -
#2672 + ()/29 - [ Report ]
// c. 04-05
// Mr. Randall is upset that people keep putting hot glue into the holes of the wooden boards.
// Abel has just been caught.
Randall: If Abel puts glue in the wooden hole again, then _I'll_ put glue in /his/ hole...
Class: ...
Randall: His /ear/ hole.
Class: ... -
#2661 + ()/213 - [ Report ]
// In the band room, talking about what we're going to do because of the rain
Ms. Ulrey: How about this . . . take off your uniforms, we'll go in street clothes, but keep the white puffy-paint shirts on.
Kevin: *raises hand* Ms. Ulrey, for the girls sake, it's a white shirt, and it's raining.
Schwank: You're not supposed to tell her that! -
#2656 + ()/46 - [ Report ]
// In Sra. Mateo's Spanish 3
*Dan's phone rings*
Dan: Oh crap. . . *takes out phone* It's my mom!
*Sra. Mateo takes phone and accepts the incoming call*
Sra. Mateo: Habla Sra. Mateo.
...
*She hands the phone back to Dan*
Sra Mateo: I think she's talking to me in your language. -
#2653 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
datruaznlegend (9:18:45 PM): and WHY is my taskbar disappearing whenever i do windowskey + d?!
datruaznlegend (9:18:53 PM): it's supposed to minimize only progs ffs
datruaznlegend (9:18:57 PM): not the damn taskbar
fsufitchi (9:19:24 PM): o_O
fsufitchi (9:19:37 PM): and check the phase of the moon and the animal in the chinese calendar
datruaznlegend (9:19:40 PM): ...
datruaznlegend (9:19:43 PM): *blink*
fsufitchi (9:20:03 PM): take those, add them together, and take the limit as Q approaches -3.6
fsufitchi (9:20:27 PM): then chant the magic spell, throw the ox bones, and lock and unlock it
fsufitchi (9:20:33 PM): the door, i mean
fsufitchi (9:20:38 PM): then click on the taskbar
fsufitchi (9:20:39 PM): working?
fsufitchi (9:20:40 PM): no?
datruaznlegend (9:20:42 PM): and
fsufitchi (9:20:44 PM): did u chant the spell right?
datruaznlegend (9:20:43 PM): umm
datruaznlegend (9:20:45 PM): u smoking?
fsufitchi (9:20:50 PM): no
fsufitchi (9:20:55 PM): i'm reading the windows manual
datruaznlegend (9:20:58 PM): o
datruaznlegend (9:20:58 PM): ok
datruaznlegend (9:20:59 PM): nvm -
#2647 + ()/42 - [ Report ]
// AP Gov, on a tangent...
Mr. Torrence: So did you guys know that William and Mary were not only husband and wife, but also first cousins?
Mr. Torrence: Fortunately, they didn't have any children. Can you imagine? If they had a son, they would be able to say "This is my son/first cousin once removed." ...And if the son had a brother, he could say "this is my brother/second cousin."
Mr. Torrence: Whoa, this is beginning to sound a lot like West Virgnia.
Mr. Torrence: Also, I didn't say that. -
#2644 + ()/43 - [ Report ]
// Brian Terrill, in response to James McConnaughey's facebook post about getting a new bed:
I touched a sheep once. It left a handprint like in those SERTA matress commericials. I chased the sheep around until it was full of handprints.
That's my contribution. If you read it, you can't un-read it.
