Quote Browser
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#2587 + ()/38 - [ Report ]
// Watching "The Devil Wears "Prada" in French; the setting is Paris
Mme. LaSalle: Ok, what's the name of that place?
Ben: La Place de Concorde!
Ben: Yeah, ask me anything about Paris geography and I got it.
Neesha: Ok, what's THAT?
Ben: That would be New York, dear.
// The scene has, in fact, cut to NY -
#2579 + ()/109 - [ Report ]
Won Jun: Well you know what else you don't have?? A PENIS!
Chris: Good one. Quality joke. Tell it again. Again. Go. Tell.
Won Jun: Okay, here I go...
Chris: Do it. Go. Now. Now. Now.
Won Jun: Well you know what else you don't have?
Chris: Again, again!
Won Jun: A P E N I S ! ! !
Chris: OHHHH YEEEEESSSSSS AGAIN!
Chris: OH
Chris: OH
Chris: OH
Chris: YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Chris: AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN
Won Jun: Dude,
Won Jun: You know what else you don't have?
Won Jun: A penis!!
Chris: OOOOOOOO MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Chris: DON'T SOTP
Chris: MORE
Chris: MORE
Chris: MORE!
Mr. Hamby: Chris. Shut up. -
#2563 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// Talking about who should be saved if there was a nuclear war in Sacks World History
Mr. Sacks: I would let all the scientists live and the philosophers die.
Student: What about the teachers?
Mr. Sacks: If you teach biology or chem, you live. If you teach history, you die. -
#2547 + ()/244 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Wood is answering questions in FLE and Danny is absent
Dr. Wood: I've had a lot of questions about when you know you're masturbating excessively. You know you're masturbating too much when it interferes with work, or school, or other things. So if it's preventing you from coming to school, you know you've been masturbating way too much.
*Everyone looks at Danny's empty seat*
Aviv: Danny!
*Everyone cracks up, including Dr. Wood*
Dr. Wood: That was a low blow. -
#2546 + ()/42 - [ Report ]
// The questions at a "transitioning to college" seminar for seniors, and some of the responses suggested by the students
What can you do to make the transition easier for your parents once you get to college?
Wear a condom.
What can you do to make the transition easier for you once you get to college?
Don't wear a condom.
What can you do to prepare for college before you go?
Build up a tolerance.
Once you're at college, how do you know when to go to see a doctor?
When the burning starts. -
#2545 + ()/98 - [ Report ]
// In Mr. William's English class
Student 1: Yeah, they have competitions for reciting pi. They have to take breaks because it goes on for multiple days.
Mr. Williams: Ah, that's horrible!
Student 2: Well, not really... if you're into that kind of thing.
Mr. Williams: Yeah, but you can also be into eating shit and it's still disgusting. -
#2541 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Economics cost/benefit simulation
Mr. Torrence: So you're all hunters and you have to feed your families. You have to strike a balance between taking moose now or waiting to let them repopulate...
*Mr. Torrence explains the rest of the rules and shows the class the "moose" *
Mr. Torrence: So, round one of hunting is about to start. Ready?
*Mr. Torrence pulls 50-something pictures of moose out of his pocket and drops them on the floor*
Student: Wow, do you just walk around with moose on the off chance sometime you'll need them?
Dan Macey: No, he sticks two in his back pocket on Labor Day and waits for them to reproduce! -
#2540 + ()/102 - [ Report ]
// Talking with a base school friend
Base School Kid: You know, I'd never fit in at TJ. You guys just...aren't normal.
TJ Kid #1: Yeah, we're so far from normal we're tangential.
BSK: See, that's what I mean! You're all weird! You have such a deviant sense of humor.
TJ Kid #2: Sorry.
BSK: Just promise you'll stop, okay?
TJ 1: Fine. Well, anyways, you get used to it. We have pretty standard deviation at TJ.
BSK: Standard deviation?
TJ 1: Yeah, like we're all weird the same way.
TJ 2: *ahem* STANDARD DEVIATION!?
TJ 1: ...Crap
TJ 1: I did it again, didn't I?
