Quote Browser
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#2491 + ()/28 - [ Report ]
// Talking about singer Cher's idea to reduce global warming by using only one SHEET of toilet paper per shit.
Brian continues: ...And she added to her plan "except for those 'pesky times' when you need 2-3 sheets."
Patrick: Couldn't you just take a bunch of tiny shits and like, integrate? -
#2473 + ()/23 - [ Report ]
// Asher, Mikas, and Nina are trying to find their way around the Magical Kingdom
Asher: Okay, so if the carousel is there--
Mikas: Girls are good navigators. You fail, so you are a bad girl. You are a horrible girl.
Nina: Give me that!
*She grabs the map, turns around, and figure out where we are*
Nina: Okay, we’re going that way.
Asher: Ohh, so we were there.
Mikas: Asher, you have been demoted from bad girl to pond scum. -
#2471 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
// On the orchestra Orlando trip, in MGM studios at a snack booth, talking to the two people in the booth
Asher: I can’t decide. Which tastes better, the banana or the blue raspberry icee?
Man in Booth: I like blue raspberry.
Woman in Booth: I like banana.
Asher: Okay, rock paper scissors, best out of three.
*The guy turns to the girl with his fist on his palm. The woman quickly backs up out of the view of the window*
Asher: You win. I pick blue raspberry.
Man in Booth (to woman): Hey! Where are you going? I’m not THAT violent! -
#2465 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
Jacob: dude proofs are pretty fun
Jacob: especially proofs given by profs
Jeff: are those prof proofs?
Jacob: yup
Jeff: profoops
Jacob: then there's like proofs you use to confuse your teachers
Jacob: if they are so good that your teachers can't figure out the loopholes
Jacob: they are prof-proof proofs
Jacob: except they are really like spoofs
Jacob: so they are prof-proof spoof proofs
Jeff: *smacks forehead* -
#2457 + ()/39 - [ Report ]
// Wire in a magnetic field
Dr. Dell: So which way will the current go, clockwise or counterclockwise?
// People mess with the right-hand-rule
Student: Counter-clockwise
Dr. Dell: How many people vote counter-clockwise?
// People raise their hands
Dr. Dell: Good, so do I. So the current is going counterclockwise...
// Dell resumes lecturing for a few seconds
Dr. Dell: Wait, no, it's clockwise. -
#2456 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
// All Things Band Night
Parent: About what percentage of the kids in the band program march?
Ms. Ulrey: I don't really know . . .
Mr. Reinsel: Oh, hey, I've got some numbers. Let's see, there are about 100 kids who march, and a total of around 160 kids in the band program, so about two thirds.
Sean: Wait . . .
Sean: SIXTY-TWO POINT FIVE!
