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• #2129 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Stamper: When all else fails, put the book on your head.

  Tags: stamper

• #2118 + (+26)/50 - [ Report ]

  // Helmets only football practice
  *Jamahl runs on field wearing jean shorts*
  Coach East: Jamahl, are you wearing JEAN SHORTS to football practice??
  Jamahl: Well, yeah.
  Coach East: The last guy I knew who wore jean shorts was gay.
  Jamahl: Really?
  Coach East: Is it inaccurate that you are a fan of men?
  Jamahl: NO!
  Jamahl: Wait, I mean...

  Tags: east

• #2117 + (+82)/94 - [ Report ]

  // At JV football game, team is lined up for kick return with helmets on
  Announcer: Please stand for our National Anthem.
  *team takes off helmets except Adam Cho*
  Coach East: What the hell is Cho doing?? Is he North Korean or what??

  Tags: coach_east

• #2116 + (+677)/721 - [ Report ]

  // During AP Physics lecture
  Students: What's that piece of rope dangling from the ceiling?
  Dr. Dell: It's a noose.
  Students: What's it for?
  Dr. Dell: Actually, it's really cool, but I can only show you once.

  Tags: dell physics

• #2115 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

  Jeff: Did you apply early to anywhere?
  Michael: Yes. To failure.

• #2114 + (+25)/37 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Osbourne: ln2=.693... 69 is an easy number to remember anyway.

  Tags: osbourne

• #2110 + (+20)/26 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about a section of Latin PALS where you were supposed to write an essay about hospitality
  Ms. Conklin: I wanted EXAMPLES! Not: "You SHOULD be good," "It is GOOD to be good," "It will come back and bite you in the ASS if you are not good!"

  Tags: conklin latin

• #2109 + (+60)/60 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Galileo in HUM
  Mr. Kelly: If you think about it, the words sunrise and sunset imply that the sun goes around the Earth. Sometimes I force myself to imagine the Earth rotating on its axis. It's pretty cool. And it's cheaper than drugs.

  Tags: kelly

• #2108 + (+270)/304 - [ Report ]

  Andrew: I'm not stupid, I just don't do things as better than anyone.

• #2107 + (+88)/92 - [ Report ]

  Student: How old are you, Mr. Torbert?
  Mr. T: I'm 29.
  Student: Wow, that's really cool!
  Mr. T: Well, it's not like I did anything... I mean, other than not die.

  Tags: torbert

• #2106 + (+29)/53 - [ Report ]

  // AP Biology
  
  Dr. Uston: Where did you get those scissors?
  Student: I got them... from the basket.
  Dr. Uston: Oh, I thought they just appeared. That would be pretty magical.

  Tags: uston

• #2105 + (+8)/56 - [ Report ]

  Betty: I like your earrings. Actually, I can only see one, but I assume they're the same.
  Ren: Thanks. Yeah, they are the same. Though actually, I think I like this one a lot better than this one.
  Betty: But... they're the exact same...
  Ren: Maybe I'm just ear-rational.

• #2103 + (+377)/461 - [ Report ]

  // In Geosystems, the class is talking loudly
  Mr. McFaden (whispering): Sex.
  *class goes quiet*
  Winn:  I'm sorry Mr. McFaden, we've all heard that quote already.

  Tags: geosystems mcfaden

• #2102 + (+34)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Freud, etc. in a "learning cottage"
  Ms. Orser: And what would we all be doing if our id was in control?
  Student: We'd all be eating a lot and having a mass orgy!
  Ms. Orser: Ew, in _here_?

  Tags: orser

• #2098 + (+57)/69 - [ Report ]

  Talking about the archetypal symbolism in Star Wars
  Ms. Orser: ...And what about R2-D2?
  Student: A phallus!
  Ms. Orser: (laughs) That would be disappointing.

  Tags: orser

• #2097 + (+28)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Bello stops class discussion to quiz us on where the nearest AED is located.
  Bello: I just took CPR training last night! *acting out* YOU! Call 911 and get an AED! Then we can go resuscitate Mr. Maney.

  Tags: bello

• #2095 + (+3)/23 - [ Report ]

  // At lunch while discussing the male population of the world and how all of them are assholes/jackasses/dicks.
  Jenn:  Every guy is big dick, even Graham, he's just better at hiding it.
  Graham:  Hey, I'm not a big dick!
  Trey:  THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE A LITTLE ONE!!!
  Graham (in and amoungst the laughing):  Damn, it's like I chambered the round, lifted my foot, and fired right at it.

• #2093 + (−68)/118 - [ Report ]

  Unknown: What if I started my own church about, like, yogurt?

• #2091 + (−6)/20 - [ Report ]

  Brian Terrill: Stop!  No more orifice carrots!

  Tags: brian_terrill

• #2090 + (+66)/74 - [ Report ]

  // In reference to thermistors and capacitors
  Mr. Kemp: And together they give you the power to make...?
  Student: Babies!
  Mr. Kemp: Yes! ---Wait, what?

  Tags: kemp tech

• #2089 + (0)/22 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Abolition in HUM
  Stephen: So those mulatto cookies or what ever they are...
  Rest of Table: Milano!

• #2088 + (+51)/59 - [ Report ]

  // History class, going over a homework packet.
  Paul Woods: What is the answer to "C"?
  Mr. Sacks: "C" is a statement, not a question.
  Paul Woods: Oh...that's why it was so hard to answer.

  Tags: sacks

• #2087 + (+40)/50 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Stueben: My entire marriage is built upon a foundation of lies.

  Tags: stueben

• #2086 + (+206)/214 - [ Report ]

  // At TJ/Woodson swim meet
  Woodson: *does a cheer where they are lined up on the peninsula in two rows facing inward*
  Sam: Are you guys supposed to be a lipid bilayer?
  Woodson: ...

• #2084 + (+31)/55 - [ Report ]

  Nathan Watson: i was bored, so i started taking some kind of "should you go get IT certified?" quiz thing on monster.com
  Nathan Watson: Microsoft VBScript runtime  error '800a000d'  Type mismatch: 'cint'  /it/certquiz/answer.asp, line 31
  Nathan Watson: i thought for a minute i had to fix it

  Tags: nathan_watson

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