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// Mr. Frels walks in on the ManChoir as they have just tied up Marc Lipman with duct tape.
Frels: What's going on?
ManChoir: Nothing, nothing.
Frels: ...Look, if you're gonna tie him up, you gotta do it properly. Give me that tape...
// Corollary to 1470: In My Differential Equations Textbook
If a(t) is a constant, then we can sometimes succeed using a time-honored mathematical technique. We guess.
// Discussing presence of emergency vehicles at the beginning of the school day
// Nobody actually knew why at the time
Jack: Why didn't they just use the AED?
// Discussing restriction enzymes
Mr Lampazzi: ECO, BAM, and HindIII are molecular... what?
Everyone: ???
Mr Lampazzi: What are mom and dad?
Everyone: Parents?
Mr Lampazzi: NO! They are PALINDROMES! Molecular palindromes!
// Brian Landry wearing his cross country shirt
Dr. Acio: You know your shirt doesn't make a lot of sense. "Tradition never graduates"? What, did you all fail?
Ms. Stevens: You can't say shit, but you can say feces because that's a proper biological term. You can't say dickface but you can say penis head because that's a real word.
// Talking about our IBET field trip in Ms Locklear's class
Locklear: Afterwards, you're going to wash your hands thoroughly. You'll have to take your clothes off.
// During Jazz
Ms. Ulrey: You guys sound white!
Band: Umm... well... not much we can do about that...
Ms. Ulrey: It's ok to be white, just don't sound like it!
// Discussing politics and language
Mr. Zack: Politicians don't say that we're "digging for oil." They say we're "exploring for energy!"
Julian: It's not rape, it's "Surprise Sex!"
Mr. Williams: I've seen so many college essays that are like "I have drive and determination" unlike all the other morons that are applying to Harvard who are looking for failure.
// Mr. Forbes is talking about the Physics teachers at TJ
Forbes: So in reality, we're all the same person, they just cloned us all and Mr. Bagden got the young body.
// At the end of TJMC pratice, doing announcments. Ms. Ulrey is raising her hand and is behind Nate Coddington.
Various people: Kneel, Nate!
Nate (to Ulrey): GROW!
// Watching a cartoonish video in Philosophy where the main character's skin is changing color
Somebody: I wish I could change my ethnicity as I walked...
// During a lecture about amino acids and the way they form things
Student: So amino acids are like letters right?
Dr. Uston: Yes, amino acids are like the 27 letters of the alphabet, they can form an endless amount of words...
// In biology
Teacher: So, let's see, who's missing...?
Matt: *quickly turns facing teacher in seat, raising hand excitedly* Oooh, I am!! I am!
Eric: ...?
Matt: ...What? I was listening!
Eric: ...Dude, she said "Who's MISSING"...
