Quote Browser
-
#1709 + ()/95 - [ Report ]
// Lee hands Andy his Pocket PC
Lee: Here, try out this handwriting recognition.
*Andy writes "Andy is really cool" on the touch screen with the stylus. The Pocket PC thinks for a moment and prints out its translation: "Andy is really fool." *
Andy: ... I think I just got owned by Lee's computer.
Eric: Hmm... maybe it DOES have artificial intelligence. -
#1708 + ()/20 - [ Report ]
// While discussing blood in AP bio
Mr. C: Did I ever tell you guys about how I used to donate plasma?
Class: No?
Mr. C: Well, I used to donate my blood. They would centrifuge it, take the plasma out, and put the icky cold blood back in my arm - it was gross, but I got paid.
Class: ???
Mr. C: You see, the people who donate all of their blood can only go every couple of weeks, but if you donate your plasma you can go every week - it's monetarily beneficial to donate your plasma. -
#1706 + ()/235 - [ Report ]
E: See, my theory is that when you come to TJ and learn all these complex algorithms and other stuff, you lose the ability to add or subtract or do other basic things.
K: I think I know what you mean. There are days when I can't add 7 and 5 to make 13.
E: ...You mean twe--
K: OH GOD! YOU'RE RIGHT! -
#1699 + ()/355 - [ Report ]
Mr. Forbes: You know why all your teachers are leaving? Because they're old! You know why they're old? Because this school hires people with experience.
Tom: What about Mr. Bagden?
Mr. Forbes: Mr. Bagden is special. He's secretly an elf. He was born two thousand years ago and has been growing younger ever since. -
#1694 + ()/114 - [ Report ]
// Alyson Yee tutors a little kid at a nearby elementary school and is explaining why next week is the last session
A: So next week is the last time I'll see you this year!
Kid: What are you going to do on Wednesdays if you don't come see me? *pout*
A: It's not like it'll be fun. I have to stay in school and take [AP and SOL] tests.
Kid: Hmph. I bet you're helping another student.
A: Wha?? It's not like I'm CHEATING on you!! -
#1693 + ()/499 - [ Report ]
// In the middle of Spanish, Brendan passes a note to Nolan
Nolan: Sra. Pou, I think you should read this note Brendan passed me...
Brendan: No! I didn't write that!
Sra. Pou: (reading note to class) "Tu madre es gordo y homosexuál". Very well done, the note is even in Spanish! You even put an accent in homosexual! Now, the only thing wrong with it is it should be gorda, not gordo since it is tu madre, which is feminine. Muy bien!
// Sra. Pou hands note back to Nolan, Brendan sighs in relief.
