Quote Browser
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#1690 + ()/69 - [ Report ]
// Japanese class is being conducted outside today
Bird: *twitters loudly*
Rochkind sensei (in Japanese): Isn't that bird loud...
Bird: *continues to twitter*
Rochkind sensei (still in Japanese): If you don't shut up I'll... BANG.*acts like she shot it*
Bird: *stops twittering abruptly*
Student: I think you killed it. -
#1689 + ()/205 - [ Report ]
SmarterChild: Cool! OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type skip. To exit the interview, type exit.
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you aogmd34gl3r, type none.)
aogmd34gl3r: keeyoung
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a real name. Please try again or type skip, exit or none.
aogmd34gl3r: tard
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Tard now.
Do you go to school? -
#1688 + ()/34 - [ Report ]
// Sean's philosophy on procrastinating
"I think I should put stuff off until the absolute last minute. What if I were to die? If I died and had spent my last hours on Earth doing a stupid assignment I didn't even need to turn in I would be pretty pissed off. I believe in living it up while I'm still alive." -
#1682 + ()/70 - [ Report ]
// Economics class during a presentation on different types of businesses
Person doing presentation: Proprietorships are normally small mom-and-pop type businesses, or father and son stores
Crystal Zheng: Why are there no father and daughter stores?
John Sherwood: Because women don't work.
Mr. Zack: ... Yeah, pretty much. -
#1679 + ()/19 - [ Report ]
// Talking about the communist revolution in Russia
Nathan: You know, I think it would be beneficial for us to watch Disney's Anastasia in here.
Mr. Maney: Yeah, okay. Hey, do you know what other hit motion picture portrays this time period? (meaning some 1970's thing)
Hayne: Anastasia 2? -
#1676 + ()/66 - [ Report ]
// On the bus
Jack Breese: *takes several dollar bills out of his wallet and stares at them in horror*
Oh no, I've sold the root password for the MIPS cluster to Starbucks! I wrote it on a five dollar bill because I thought I'd never spend it... I must have given it to them when I asked for change! -
#1671 + ()/197 - [ Report ]
// Phil has been kept awake at night for weeks because of this question...
Phil (suggestively): How did AIDS get transmitted from monkeys to humans?
Several people: Oh, gross.
Mr. Sacks: Phil, did you ever consider that maybe someone just got monkey blood on them while having an open wound?
Phil: Oh, come on, how often do you get /monkey blood/ all over you?
Mr. Sacks: Well, maybe the monkey got angry and threw his feces at the human with the open wound.
Phil: It's not transmitted through feces...
Mr. Sacks: Well, blood-covered feces, then.
Phil: ...
Mr. Sacks: Or maybe the monkeys dressed up in human clothes and tricked the young girls in the villages...
Phil: ...
Mr. Sacks: ...Come on, /anything/ but that.
Phil: I guess it just gets lonely down there in Africa... -
#1669 + ()/66 - [ Report ]
// You learn many life lessons in history class...
Mr. Helm: No, Patrick, you never make your wife do ANYTHING, because at 2 a. m., she's the one lying next to you, her hands poised to smush a pillow over your face. And when that happens, you die. So no, you should never make your wife do anything. -
#1666 + ()/87 - [ Report ]
// During a Spanish test, a kid asks Sra. Pou about a confusing question
Kid: I don't remeber learning any verbs you do in bed.
Sra. Pou: Well we went over one verb you do in bed. I mean at your age, there's only so much you do in bed, I don't get why this is so confusing...
