Quote Browser
-
#1637 + ()/33 - [ Report ]
// Men Young is trying to shut down all the extra processes cluttering up the Cray, but makes an unfortunate error...
[email protected]:/local/mlee1# killall
Connection to cray closed by remote host.
Connection to cray closed.
[email protected]:~$ ssh cray
ssh: connect to host cray port 22: Connection refused -
#1635 + ()/26 - [ Report ]
// Talking about Shirley Temple in film study
Emily: She was too sweet, like I could picture her growing up to be a dictator or something.
*class laughs*
Mr. Pollet: Everybody be warned if Emily has children and tells you they are nice and sweet, she is secretly raising them to be dictators. -
#1634 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
Mrs. Donohue: There's a big It's Academic this weekend, and I'm the sponsor, so I had to go to the security office to get some important stuff.
Byron: Like what?
Mrs. Donohue: Well, for one thing, I had to find out the security phone number for the whole county.
Byron: 9-1-1? -
#1633 + ()/136 - [ Report ]
Mr. Kummer: We could probably get a Satan Worshippers club... but see the school is clever about it. You have to have a sponsor! Who would sponsor that?!
*Class laughs*
Mr. Kummer: Well... there's always Dr. Dell...
*Class laughs*
Mr. Kummer: Don't quote me on that. If anyone asks, Mr. Torrence said it. -
#1629 + ()/97 - [ Report ]
// In the morning, studying for the Physics test
Kid 1: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Kid 2: Don't worry. I looked at the practice test, and all the problems are really easy. I really don't think that it'll be that bad.
Kid 1: Dr. Walker contributed a problem.
Kid 2: ... We're fucked. -
#1622 + ()/10 - [ Report ]
// After developing an acronym for Project DOOMSDAY (Development of Oppresive Organization of Many Stealthy Destructive Assassin-Yeast) and saving it somewhere
Wil K.: Now it is preserved for posterity's sake.
Andrew Yang: For our backs... ?
Wil: Uhhh... no, that's posterior... -
#1619 + ()/30 - [ Report ]
// At Wallops Island Bio field trip
Instructor: Diatoms form INTERTUCULARY BONDS!
Students: Why?
Instructor: Um, for increased surface area.
Students: Waitttt, that doesn't make sense. How does it help them?
Instructor: Well, I think they share food.
Alyson: Diatoms are COMMUNISTS!
Instructor: Yes, except they photosynthesize. -
#1618 + ()/15 - [ Report ]
// While watching a movie taking place in a newsroom; Woodward and Bernstein are reporters portrayed in the movie.
Mr. Kummer: My journalism class once took a trip to that very newsroom. We came all the way up from Texas.
Mr. Zack: Did you see Woodward and Bernstein?
Mr. Kummer: Uh, no, the whole staff was on strike when we got there. -
#1615 + ()/45 - [ Report ]
// During a class about population genetics...
Mrs. Stevens: Pretend that we put you on an island and told you to mate with each other.
*Class titters*
Stevens: Now, you would have certain preferences, so certain traits would... What?
*More giggles*
Stevens: Oh! My goodness, I'm sorry. Pretend that you are all Schmoos, and we put you on an island to mate.
*More lauging*
Stevens: Okay! A group of schmoos are on an island, and...
Student:*quietly* Haha, schmoo sex... -
#1614 + ()/201 - [ Report ]
// A student forgot to sign in to one of Mr. Stueben's 8th pds...
Student: Will you sign my paper saying I was there?
Stueben: This is from over a month ago! What are you thinking?! This is the last time I'll sign forms for you! You are an idiot, waiting so long...
Stueben: *takes paper from student and writes:
"Student was here on so and so a day. He is an idiot."
-M. Stueben*
Student: *Takes paper and slowly walks away* -
#1609 + ()/482 - [ Report ]
Student: Mr.Stueben, do you want a mint?
Mr. Stueben: No, I never take candy from students in case it's poisoned.
Student: What about a wrapped Snickers bar?
Mr. Stueben: I would still take it home and feed it to my dog first, to test it.
Mr. Stueben: I have lost 3 dogs that way.
Me: You know chocolate is poisonous to dogs, right?
Mr. Stueben: Now you tell me! So late in my career!
