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• #1608 + (−10)/14 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Tyson talking to a group of students near a newly locked boys' bathroom
  
  Mr. Tyson: So if you're a boy and you need to go pee-pee, go use the girls' restroom.

  Tags: tyson

• #1607 + (+174)/214 - [ Report ]

  // Vote for your favorite calculus pickup line! This one, or #1606
  
  Let me be your derivative... I want to be tangent to all your curves.

  Tags: math

• #1606 + (+14)/48 - [ Report ]

  // Vote for your favorite calculus pickup line! This one, or #1607
  
  Let me be your integral... I want to be under all your curves.

  Tags: math

• #1604 + (+45)/45 - [ Report ]

  // Working on powerpoints for Riverbend Project in English
  Mr. Green: Wow, your powerpoint is ugly...
  James: It- it- is?
  Mr. Green: No, it's beyond ugly, why that-- that is the poster child of ugly powerpoints, it's horrendously ugly.

  Tags: english green

• #1603 + (+14)/16 - [ Report ]

  // Referring to HUM1 class
  Mrs. Waterfall: See, they are the reason I drink.

  Tags: waterfall

• #1602 + (+57)/59 - [ Report ]

  // During a lecture on WWII
  Mrs. Bicknell (interrupting): Make love, not war. Haha, isn't that what hippies used to say?
  Mr. Struck: Yeah. That just sounds so weird coming from A GERMAN

  Tags: bicknell struck

• #1601 + (+96)/98 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Walk: ... so in this equation, the milla in milliamps cancels out with the killa in kilo-ohms.
  Stephanie: Isn't it "kilo"?  Why do you pronounce it "killuh"?
  Dr. Walk: "Killuh" sounds better, almost gangsta.

  Tags: walker

• #1600 + (+18)/20 - [ Report ]

  Elly: I steal your thoughts.
  Tom: That's okay, I steal your underwear.
  Chris: And I steal your bandwidth.
  Elly: WHAT?! You steal my bandwidth?!

• #1599 + (+24)/28 - [ Report ]

  // In Mrs. Maturo's algebra 2 class while taking a quiz on permutations and combinations
  Mrs. Maturo: I think both of you have a drug problem. Do that problem as simply as possible.
  Class: *stares at her*
  Mrs. Maturo: I wish I had a drug problem right now...

  Tags: math maturo

• #1598 + (+161)/165 - [ Report ]

  // On reading "A Tale of Two Cities"
  Mr. Maney: It was the best of times, it was a waste of time.

  Tags: english maney

• #1597 + (+55)/55 - [ Report ]

  // In a Driver's Ed powerpoint presentation...
  
  Slide Title: FIRESTORMS
  
  -Save yourself; leave all women and children behind.
  -If you can't escape, go do something you always wanted to before you die a fiery death.
  
  Next Slide: THE ARRIVAL OF THE ANGEL OF DEATH
  
  -Repent immediately.

• #1596 + (+104)/106 - [ Report ]

  // AP Government discussion...
  Mr. Majeske: So you want your candidate out there campaigning, right?
  Student: Yes!
  Mr. Majeske: Wanna see them?
  Student: Yes!
  Mr. Majeske: Wanna hear them?
  Student: Yes!
  Mr. Majeske: Wanna touch them?
  Student: Ye--what?!

  Tags: government majeske

• #1595 + (+27)/27 - [ Report ]

  // After an AP Government Test...
  Student: Those questions were so ambiguous!
  Mr. Majeske: Didn't you read the last chapter? Ambiguous and government go together.

  Tags: government majeske

• #1594 + (+197)/221 - [ Report ]

  // In Ms. Orser's English class, having a serious class discussion about stem cell research
  Kevin D: Embryonic stem cell research is taking away the potential for new life of the embryo.
  David: Wait... I dont understand why everyone keeps saying 'potential'. If you have a guy and a girl in the same room then you have potential.   
  Ms. Orser: Everybody stay seated!

  Tags: english orser

• #1592 + (+48)/54 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Zack: What's that tagline for Zales? Every kiss begins with... oh.

  Tags: zack

• #1590 + (+577)/615 - [ Report ]

  // Economics class
  Mr. Zack: Utility is something you can't put a number on.  For example, I like cheerios more than corn flakes.  You can't attatch a value to it.
  John Sherwood: 3.
  Mr. Zack: *long stare* This is why I drink.

  Tags: economics john_sherwood zack

• #1589 + (+18)/20 - [ Report ]

  Person #1: Man, I've been really tired lately.
  Person #2: You know, masturbation causes drowsiness.
  Person #1: Ewwww
  Person #3: *Walks up yawning* Ohhh, so that's why I'm always tired.

• #1588 + (+72)/72 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Torrence is African American.
  Student: Can we have class outside today?
  Mr. Torrence. No. We need a blackboard for our next activity.
  Students: But we have a whiteboard in our class...
  Mr. Torrence. Well, when I'm in this room, it's a blackboard.

  Tags: torrence

• #1587 + (+21)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Conversation on the bus about curly-haired girls being smart in general
  
  Someone: Nora's an anomaly.
  Nora (curly-haired): What's anomaly?

  Tags: bus

• #1586 + (+27)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about Asian guys
  Alex: Just because I have many Asian female friends does not mean that I automatically want to date Asian male guys!
  Shannon: As opposed to Asian female guys?   

• #1585 + (0)/8 - [ Report ]

  Andy Street: I need to find the right font so that SEXY MAN THIGHS fits on one page.

  Tags: andy_street

• #1584 + (+5)/9 - [ Report ]

  // Studying Ancient Roman geography
  Dr. Glover: Okay, which way would I go to get to Phoenicia?
  Nick: Forward!

  Tags: glover

• #1583 + (+23)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Jaskot accidentally curses.
  Jaskot: Dammit! I gave up cursing for Lent!

  Tags: john_jaskot

• #1582 + (+61)/65 - [ Report ]

  // Ms. Conklin scrunches up her face in disgust at the computer screen
  Student: What's wrong?
  Ms. Conklin: I got an e-mail where someone called me "Mrs."
  Ms. Conklin: I'm not married, nor will I EVER be again... unless someone has a lot of money...

  Tags: conklin

• #1580 + (+117)/121 - [ Report ]

  // Microsoft Word's spellcheck isn't meant for TJ...
  "Aldehyde." Do you mean "baldheaded?"
  ...
  "Apocritan." Do you mean "abortion?"
  ...
  "Hydronium." Do you mean "hedonism?"      

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