Quote Browser
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#1464 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
// After I said something. I don't remember what it was, but I'm Eli. It must have been horrible.
Vanessa: You need to get a woman.
Eli: I sort of have one...
Vanessa: You need to use her.
Eli: She's not that kind.
Vanessa: Well... you need to use her womanly facilities!
Will C.: That doesn't sound any better. -
#1459 + ()/183 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Potoker on why health class is important.
Mr. Potoker: Yes, you say that now - you won't take drugs or alcohol. But when you TJ kids get together with your calculator parties, passing around your batteries, you forget ALL ABOUT THAT. So you have to learn WHY taking drugs and alcohol is bad. -
#1458 + ()/33 - [ Report ]
// Discussing possible internships during Mrs. Seavey's class. She is trying to suggest that we could volunteer for an election campaign because, well, there is an election this year.
Mrs. Seavey: What important event is going to take place this fall?
Student: ... Thanksgiving? -
#1449 + ()/35 - [ Report ]
// Preparing to play handball in PE
Mr. Hodges: Okay, guys, I want you to split into teams of 7. And I want each team to have 3 girls, 3 boys, and 1 other.
Class: *stares in shock*
Mr. Hodges: By "other" I meant that you'll need one more person to be goalie, and that person can be a boy or a girl.
Class: *sigh of relief* -
#1447 + ()/39 - [ Report ]
// In Mr. Williams' Algebra II class, a student calls Mr. Williams over to fix her calculator, which had been troublesome
Student: See? It says, "Bad Guess." What did I do?
*Mr. Williams tries a few things*
Mr. Williams (under breath): Uh, this thing is possessed. *steps away* -
#1446 + ()/512 - [ Report ]
// Discussing electrostatic charges in Physics; Cliff put his hand near a ping-pong ball which was charged and hanging from a ceiling, and when he put his hand near it, the ball swung towards him.
Mr. Bagden: Look at that, it's moving towards you. Can you tell me why?
Cliff: Because it's attracted to me?
Mr. Bagden: And why is that?
Cliff: ...because I'm beautiful?
