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• #1385 + (+37)/37 - [ Report ]

  // During Spanish class
  Sra. Pou: If you bring in food and don't share, we get to mug you.

  Tags: pou

• #1384 + (+110)/116 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus, Logan sitting near some new freshman girl
  Logan: Hey, I've never seen you before. Who are you?
  Girl: Oh, I'm Heather.
  Logan: Hello Heather.
  *pause*
  Logan: Hey Johnny, I met a girl today.
  Me: *shoots root beer out of nose*

  Tags: syslab

• #1383 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

  // Marine Bio, talking about how baby sharks sometimes eat their siblings
  // J & C are twins
  
  J: C tried to eat me before I was born.  But that didn't work out.
  T: *muttering under her breath*  ...Did C eat your brain instead?   

• #1382 + (+44)/50 - [ Report ]

  // Alexa finds writing in her Requiem score that says "This is boring and ugly" and "666", and points it out to Mr. Frels
  Mr. Frels: Oh, that's my music!
  Alexa: ...but here it says "I worship the devil"...
  Mr. Frels: Yeah; I'm going to start the FDWA, Fellowship of Devil Worshipping Athletes.

  Tags: frels

• #1381 + (+23)/25 - [ Report ]

  // While learning about Japanese "Christmas Cakes," a holiday tradition in Japan, apparently...Japanese housewives serve them to their families on Christmas Day.
  Rochkind-sensei: *In Japanese* Who do the Japanese call "Christmas Cakes?"
  Class: What?!
  Rochkind-sensei: *Also in Japanese* 26-year old single women.
  Class: What?!
  Rochkind-sensei: *In English* Because after the 25th, no one wants to buy a Christmas Cake.

  Tags: rochkind

• #1380 + (+223)/247 - [ Report ]

  // Semester Exam review
  Dr. Walker: The semester exam is next... Tuesday. Anybody have anything they have questions about? Something you've been struggling with for the past few months? Anything?
  John Jaskot: Physics.

  Tags: john_jaskot physics walker

• #1379 + (+314)/374 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Williams: What makes an emo pie so good?
  Class: ...
  Mr. Williams: It cuts itself! Ahaha...

  Tags: williams

• #1378 + (+170)/174 - [ Report ]

  // Two students attempting to get out of class for photos.
  P1: We have to go for pictures.
  Teacher: OK, go ahead. What club?
  *other kid looks around at the TV which is scrolling club names*
  P2: Umm... French Honor Society!
  Teacher: This is AP Spanish!

  Tags: spanish

• #1377 + (+44)/44 - [ Report ]

  // In French class while students are trying to guess what 'noces' (honeymoon) means.
  LaSalle: Well, what kind of trips do you take?
  Student: Business!
  LaSalle: No.
  Dan: ... pleasure?
  LaSalle: No, well yes. A specific kind of pleasure... oh, I'm going to get in trouble.

  Tags: lasalle

• #1376 + (+59)/63 - [ Report ]

  Sydney: i got a phone call from christie
  Sydney: who's apparently in the hospita now
  Alex: what?!
  Sydney: she and michael and jason went to that thing in DC
  Sydney: and she fell down the stairs
  Alex: o.O
  Sydney: and cut her leg really badly
  Sydney: and they're waiting to see if it needs stitches
  Sydney: and after this big long gory story
  Sydney: she says
  Sydney: "can you help me with calc?"

• #1375 + (+9)/11 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing My Antonia in english class
  Frani: I think he likes her because she's kind of a tramp.
  Mr. Green: how do we know for sure she's a tramp?
  Amy: It says she has pretty ankles!
  Mr. Green: ... as do all tramps... ?

  Tags: english green

• #1374 + (+22)/22 - [ Report ]

  // Geoff and David are looking at the couples feature in the most recent TJ Today.
  Geoff: It would be really sweet if someone answered the question of "What brings you together?" with "Gravity!"
  David: Electrostatic attraction! Weak nuclear force!

• #1373 + (+92)/96 - [ Report ]

  // Wil has just spelled something wrong on the poster and is correcting it
  Mrs. Wu: That reminds me... Last weekend I had my son's 4th grade project meeting at our house. They had everything done nicely, there was only the title page left. And when it was done it said... "Colonial... *awkward pause*... Vagina". *puts face in hands* Anyway.

  Tags: wu

• #1372 + (+33)/33 - [ Report ]

  // There is banging and screaming coming from the room above Mr. C's
  Mr. Charnitski: God, I don't know what's going on up there, banging and screaming all day...
  Student: Maybe they're re-enacting something...
  Mr. Charnitski: Like what? The Civil War?

  Tags: charnitski

• #1371 + (+24)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Discussion in english class about a character in a book
  Casey: All he does is sit around and read books all the time... he's a bit of a pansy.
  Mr. Green: Hey! Since when does liking to read books alot mean you're a pansy? *looks hurt*

  Tags: green

• #1370 + (+62)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Track, running warmup lap around the school... girl exits school and is next to runners.
  Girl: Jesse, I love you!
  Jesse: I love you too!
  Girl: Jesse I want your babies!
  *pause*
  Jesse: Don't worry guys, I'll catch up later! *leaves group of runners*

  Tags: sports

• #1369 + (+519)/535 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Torrence: There are two things you should never see being made... can anyone guess what they might be?
  *silence*
  Winston: ...babies?
  Mr. T: Okay, three things.

  Tags: torrence

• #1368 + (+55)/57 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Bicknell enters the class smiling
  Mr. Struck: You seem like you're in a good mood this morning. Did you hurt someone today?
  *Mrs. Bicknell laughs*
  Mr. Struck: Maybe run over a little child?

  Tags: bicknell struck

• #1365 + (+11)/13 - [ Report ]

  // Concerning some weird growth chart in health
  Student: Hey, it's like a quadratic equation.
  Priem: Hmm... Huh? Yeah whatever. You TJ kids with your calculators.

  Tags: health priem

• #1364 + (−8)/10 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Priem's health class
  Priem: Thanksgiving of course, was a holiday set aside to celebrate food.

  Tags: priem

• #1363 + (+222)/264 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Shakers in HUM
  Boris: Wait, there are still Shakers in America today?
  Ms. Maeda: Yes.
  Boris: The ones that practice celibacy?
  Ms. Maeda: Yes.
  Boris: ... How are they still around?

  Tags: hum maeda

• #1362 + (+12)/22 - [ Report ]

  // In CAD
  Chris: The superbowl is extra large this year. It's XL. So that makes it number 150.
  Scott: L is 50.
  Chris: oh, so it's 60.
  Brian: 50 MINUS 10.
  Chris: Oh, 30... I mean 40.   

• #1361 + (+36)/36 - [ Report ]

  // It's Jose's 18th birthday
  Anita:  So Jose, how does it feel to be a statutory rapist?
  Jose:   Finally, the excitement is back!

  Tags: anita_kinney jose_chaparro

• #1360 + (+66)/66 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Chhabra: Did you actually turn in a paper?  I don't remember reading anything on your topic.  
  Johnny: But you marked up my draft...
  Mrs. Chhabra: Yeah I marked it up, but that doesn't mean I read it!

  Tags: chhabra

• #1359 + (−15)/27 - [ Report ]

  // In class, trying to find the best way of solving a problem with a computer
  Mr. Torbert: You're right, even though this gets rid of our old problem, it's still too hard.
  Jason: It's like saving people from a hurricane by hiding them in a volcano.
  *pause*
  Class, esp. Jeff Miller: *laughs really loudly*

  Tags: torbert

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