Quote Browser
-
#1247 + ()/45 - [ Report ]
// In Driver's Ed.
Stetson: Did I give any of you drugs or alcohol?
*awkward pause followed by students cracking up*
Stetson: As a TOPIC! I meant as a topic!
...
Stetson: Ok, you caught me. I'm a dealer.
Stetson: At least I didn't say, "Did I give any of you sex or STD's?" -
#1245 + ()/23 - [ Report ]
// Topics field trip to the National Academy of Sciences, talking to a large group
Mr. Jensen (a staff member): So we said no to doing research on raisins because it benefitted a cereal manufacturer that will be unnamed. If we aren't objective in our research, no one in Congress or the government will want to use us. You have to hold on to your objectivity very tightly. Once it's gone, there's no getting it back. It's like your virginity.
Mr. Jensen: ...I won't get in trouble with the School Board for that, right? -
#1240 + ()/120 - [ Report ]
// In Drivers Ed, discussing what to do when an emergency vehicle is coming
Ms. Stetson: People who don't pull over for emergency vehicles piss me off! They should pretend like the closest member of their family is in that ambulance!
Nick Brown: Why would my laptop be in an ambulance? -
#1238 + ()/290 - [ Report ]
// In tech, while Mr. Pearce is checking photoresistors...
Mr. Pearce: Uh, looks like you have a small one there...
John Kim: Oh... does size matter?
Mr. Pearce: Sometimes. *giggles* John, you're disgusting.
John Kim: What!? Oh my god, I wasn't even thinking of that...
*students cracking up*
Mr. Pearce: Alright, well if you want a bigger one, come see me... -
#1232 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
// In physics talking about the new newton's cradle Mr. Forbes had bought from Spencer's
Mr. Forbes: If you go into Spencer's Gifts, you see science toys, lava lamps, and sex jokes...so my question is: who exactly are they marketing to?
Stogus: TJ STUDENTS OF COURSE!
Mr. Forbes: I was gonna say ex hippie physics teachers but yeah that works too... -
#1225 + ()/19 - [ Report ]
Mr. Majeske: ... and our test on friday will be moved.
Student: To TODAY!!!?!??!?
Mr. Majeske: Yes.
Class: NOoooo
Mr. Majeske: Just kidding, it's going to be next week.
Long: Oh my gosh! Mr. Majeske, when you said that I just got HOT all over! I'm serious!
Mr. Majeske: ummmm... good job?
