Quote Browser
-
#5320 + ()/39 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Smith is replying to a series of questions he's been asked in emails with a mass email to all his students
Q. You said you got 5th period's data to fit the predicted slopes within about 10% for all three plots. I'm using 6th period's data and I can't get closer than about 20%.
A. That's not actually a question.
And later...
Q. Why are you so incredibly good-looking?
A. The orange vest helps, but it's mostly genetic. -
#5319 + ()/44 - [ Report ]
// In Geosystems, students are learning about different winds.
Mrs. Schmid: The band around the equator is known as the doldrums because sometimes the wind completely dies down, meaning ships are stuck because they can't go anywhere. This is where the expression "to be in the doldrums" comes from, because if someone says that to you, it means you're lethargic. Without motivation. Apathetic. In other words, you're a senior. -
#5309 + ()/63 - [ Report ]
// Describing his proposed Senior Tech Project
Tom: Much like night-vision goggles, our project would allow you to see something other than visible light. However, instead of seeing a different spectrum of electromagnetic radiation, you would be seeing sounds.
Tom: Of course, we already have LSD for that, but this way you can avoid bad trips.
Tom: *pauses*
Tom: Actually, you might consider it a bad trip if you encountered Dr. Osborne and were permanently blinded... -
#5307 + ()/49 - [ Report ]
// Donohue passing back test corrections in AB Calc
Donohue: I graded these nonstop all weekend! I even dreamed I was grading them at a wedding. It was my own wedding and I was grading papers!
Donohue: My mom had fainted and her body was lying across the pew, and as soon as I saw she was okay, I went right back to grading papers. -
#5303 + ()/135 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Forbes takes out a Newton's Cradle from Spencer's
Mr. Forbes: I've noticed that Spencer's sells three kinds of products: lava lamps, sex jokes, and science toys. So that means their target demographic is perverted, ex-hippie physics teachers.
Mr. Forbes: I don't know where they'll find any of those. -
#5282 + ()/28 - [ Report ]
// Mrs. Schmid is retiring and is telling the class about the possible replacement teacher
Schmid: And even if he doesn't know the curriculum exactly, he can just pick another teacher to stay a week behind in lesson plans.
Student: But then we won't finish!
Schmid: Yeah, but do you really care? -
#5274 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
Mrs. Springer: One of the main influences on "Brave New World" was the philosophy of Karl Marx. Can anyone tell me who he is?
Eddie: That's easy. He's the guy with the beard.
*Mrs. Springer rolls her eyes.*
Mrs. Springer: However, an important philosopher for the modern world is John Locke.
Quinnlan: I know who he is! Wait a minute... he's that guy on "Lost"!
*Mrs. Springer groans* -
#5269 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
Student: Mrs. Lister, I don't remember what "fragorem" means.
// Mrs. Lister throws a textbook onto a desk, making a loud bang.
Class: Aiee!
Mrs. Lister: THAT, my friend, was a fragorem. Any questions?
Class: No, magistra!
Mrs. Lister: I probably shouldn't have scared you that much.
