Quote Browser
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#1028 + ()/116 - [ Report ]
Teddy: So I was on the late bus, waiting to leave.
Teddy: The driver starts the bus and it starts making this beeping sound every second or so. It sounds like a bomb.
Teddy: Then she does something and it starts beeping twice as fast.
Teddy: Then it suddenly cuts out.
Teddy: And the first thing that popped into my head was "Counter-Terrorists Win" -
#1017 + ()/376 - [ Report ]
Mr. Stueben: It has come to my attention that some students do not like my quizzes. Consequently, until morale improves, all quiz questions will be written in Mandarin Chinese. Good luck!
DIRECTIONS: Choose the best answer to the following question from the choices below.
(Chinese text you don't need to know to solve it)
A. All of the below.
B. None of the below.
C. All of the above.
D. One of the above.
E. None of the above.
F. None of the above. -
#1013 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
// The German "educational singer" Uwe Kind onstage during a German field trip
Uwe: So, 'der Kopf'! What is 'Kopf'?
Audience: The head.
Uwe And 'der Rucken'! What is 'Rucken'?
Audience: The back.
Uwe: Very good! And finally, 'der Scheisse'. 'Scheisse' means 'shit' in English."
Audience: (stunned silence.)
// Note: Mr. Kind is from Germany, where public profanity is socially acceptable.
// Apparently no one told Mr. Kind that the same standards didn't apply to his
// English-speaking audience of 1,000 FCPS students, teachers, and administrators. -
#1012 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// Assignment: Write a poem mimicking the Inferno, with stages of Hell
Mrs. Bello: If you're going to put someone in TJ in hell, please use a fake name.
Mr. Maney: If you're going to put me in Hell, please call me Mr. McCarthy.
Student: Oh, I'm going to tell him that!
Mr. Maney: Please do.
