TJbash.org

Quote Browser

• #927 + (+7)/11 - [ Report ]

  Coach Aurbach: How do we keep these geese off the field?!
  Some kid from a previous football season: Just close the gates at night.

• #925 + (+51)/51 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Pollet: I like to see people in movies. I guess I'm a people-watcher. It's a strange hobby that has almost gotten me arrested a few times.

  Tags: pollet

• #924 + (+33)/33 - [ Report ]

  // While watching Batman
  Mr. Pollet: And this is his girlfriend, who has just found out that Bruce Wayne is Batman. And by girlfriend, I mean they had sex together.

  Tags: pollet

• #923 + (+85)/85 - [ Report ]

  // In PE Mrs. Davis splits up the class into field hockey teams and assigns us fields. We all go to our places but one field doesn't have a ball.
  Mrs. Davis: OK, who has two balls?!
  // Instantly all the guys in our class raise their hands

  Tags: davis

• #922 + (+12)/20 - [ Report ]

  Teddy: I was making a picture for my history class, and I needed a black, unhappy face for a slave in the picture.
  Teddy: So I went on Google Image Search--
  Josh: Oh, this never ends well.
  Teddy: And do a search for "black slave face"
  Teddy: Baaaaaaad idea.

• #921 + (+70)/74 - [ Report ]

  Olex: OH FUCK CALLED MY GERMAN TEACHER FRAU VADER INSTEAD OF VADEN!
  Olex: IN AN EMAIL!
  Lee: LOL

  Tags: german vaden

• #920 + (+84)/86 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Dell: Well actually a cross product isn't a vector, its an antisymmetric second rank tensor.
  Dr. Dell: Sometime I just feel like I'm channeling Doc Walk, I say really sophisticated things that no one understands.

  Tags: dell physics walker

• #919 + (+7)/15 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Gecan: ...what, no. Julian's mom is a sexy beast!!!

  Tags: gecan

• #918 + (−5)/19 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Blackwell: You wrote here 'the nude man', so tell me what exactly is the difference between a nude man and a naked man?
  Student: Um...naked sounds dirtier?

  Tags: blackwell

• #917 + (+41)/43 - [ Report ]

  // In theatre class, Jackie does an impression of a retarded sea lion
  Mr. Pollet: That looks a lot like Mr. Pollet on crack.

  Tags: pollet

• #916 + (−5)/17 - [ Report ]

  AntarcticPhoenix: you know how google has a custom "Google" image on their homepage every holiday?
  TheDanTran: yeah.
  AntarcticPhoenix: I2 should definitely do that.
  TheDanTran: mention anything about Intranet
  TheDanTran: damn.

  Tags: dan_tran nathan_watson

• #915 + (+131)/151 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Dell: For reference, this year you can celebrate Newtonmas on December 25.
  Someone: Are you serious? Was he really born on that day?
  Dr. Dell: Yeah unlike Jesus.

  Tags: dell physics

• #914 + (+24)/26 - [ Report ]

  Will: Are you on LSD?
  Teddy: What's that stand for?
  Logan: Liquid Crystal Display
  Teddy: No, L *S* D
  Will: Liquid... Sex Display?
  Logan: I don't think that type of display exists.
  Teddy: I think our primary concern is the "liquid" part. If that's possible, rest assured that someone has displayed it on the web.

• #913 + (−2)/14 - [ Report ]

  // Talking with a friend from Woodson
  Friend: My AP Chem teacher is so hard too! She even gives us little decimal points on small assignments, like she's trying to lower our grades or something; last time, I got an 8.23! I had no idea where the THREE came from!
  

• #911 + (−1)/3 - [ Report ]

  "Wait, so is crossover music like Eminem?"
       -- Nathaniel Stoltz

  Tags: nathaniel_stoltz

• #910 + (+7)/13 - [ Report ]

  // In English while discussing citations
  Mr. Green: Don't cite Wikipedia. It creeps me out. 'Wiki'... sounds like wicked... or witches - not that I have anything against witches - 'Wiki' just sounds evil.

  Tags: english green

• #909 + (−11)/11 - [ Report ]

  // When describing how to draw bats
  Star13lazer11: bats can be...
  Star13lazer11: uh
  Star13lazer11: circles with wings
  Star13lazer11: and uh
  Star13lazer11: triangles on the circle
  Star13lazer11: since bats have ears
  Star13lazer11: and the wings can be..
  Star13lazer11: uh
  Star13lazer11: connected parallelograms or something

• #908 + (+42)/42 - [ Report ]

  // Someone talking about their "purity." Which is non-masturbation for you slow people.
  X: I've been clean for a month and 3 days!
  Y: I've been clean for.... 20 minutes and I've been on this bus ride for 30.      

• #907 + (+118)/124 - [ Report ]

  // Diana sees Olex with Bawls (high caffeine soda) in hand. 6:35 am, at Westfield HS waiting for bus.
  Diana: Oh my god, you've got Bawls!
  Olex: Want some?
  WHS adult: *walks by* I'll pretend I didn't hear that...   

• #906 + (+54)/56 - [ Report ]

  Z: pick: heads or tails
  C: tails
  Z: ok, I'm applying to stanford   

• #905 + (+41)/47 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Sacks: ... so, the current events article. What was it about?
  Student: ... chickens in China...
  Mr. Sacks: Right. Chinese chickens. Hey, that sounds like a Barenaked Ladies song... *chineeeese chicccckennnnssss...*

  Tags: sacks

• #904 + (+51)/55 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about having trouble typing because of a broken arm
  vgguy2789: well, you can always use the mouse
  Lechuck343: It's slightly difficult to type with a mouse.
  vgguy2789: just bash it against the keyboard and you're sure to hit the right keys eventually
  vgguy2789: given enough time, you could bash the entire works of Shakespeare!
  
  // Two minutes later
  vgguy2789: tgo b e or not to be, thqat niswb thy34v 1q7uews56t8990onj
  vgguy2789: hmm... it's a bit tougher than I thought   

• #902 + (+82)/88 - [ Report ]

  // On the first day of school, during our first ever PE class at TJ as freshmen. Mr. Potoker was finishing his explanation of what we would need to bring for PE.
  Mr. Potoker: ...so that about wraps it up for what you will need to bring for PE. Are there any questions about what I just said?
  Random boy: Will boys need to bring a cup?
  *silence*
  Mr. Potoker: What? You mean, like, to drink out of?

  Tags: potoker

• #901 + (+8)/10 - [ Report ]

  // The day before a 4 day weekend
  Mr. Jarvis: Alfie, have a nice holiday.
  Alfie: Have... a nice... two day... weekend?

• #900 + (+31)/31 - [ Report ]

  Myles: So, how's life?
  Olex: What life?

©2005-2015 Eric Harmon, Victor Mircea, Dan Tran, Nathan Watson.