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• #899 + (+35)/37 - [ Report ]

  Logan: You know what's cool about transcendental numbers? In different base number systems--
  Josh: You know what's cooler? LASER VISION!

• #898 + (+33)/35 - [ Report ]

  // Rob wanted Raza to add his name to Raza's extra credit
  Raza: This is already a half-assed project! It two people work on it, it will be a quarter-assed project! I can't turn in a quarter-assed project.

• #897 + (+31)/35 - [ Report ]

  // During a discussion about the Odyssey
  Mrs. Nelson: It's like god dust. It makes women look thinner. It makes men look taller and bigger.
  Travis: Where can I get some?
  Eugene: It's called... milk...

• #893 + (+55)/55 - [ Report ]

  // In AP Physics, Ms. Lady needs to talk to a student
  Ms. Lady: Can I grab him for a second?
  Dr. Dell: Please don't, I'm sure it's against county regulations.
  Ms. Lady: Oh, I won't LITERALLY grab him...
  // Leaves with student
  Dr. Dell: *mutters* Can't trust these counselors.

  Tags: dell lady

• #892 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // After students ask Mr. Potoker stupid health questions
  Mr. Potoker: Why don't you just take this pen and stab me in the eye? And just keep stabbing?
  // After one more question
  Mr. Potoker: How about my ears this time?

  Tags: potoker

• #891 + (+9)/19 - [ Report ]

  // After looking at someone's handwriting
  Karen: That looks like Dr. Dell's handwriting.
  Dan: ...except it's a girl's handwriting.
  Robert: I could make a phallus philosophical argument right now.
  Karen: ...
  Karen: You mean fallacious, right?

  Tags: dell

• #890 + (−16)/22 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing The Odyssey
  Freshman in IBET: How do you pronounce "Orkho`menos"?
  Another freshman (not looking at book): It's pronounced "Commander Cool."
  1st freshman: Sure, because it looks like "ork-homies."
  2nd freshman: Let me see that book.
  2nd freshman: "Gone to Commander Cool's, or sandy Pylos, can he be? Or waiting with Menelaus in the plains of Sparta?"
  1st freshman: "I'll ask Mrs. Curtis..."

• #889 + (+100)/102 - [ Report ]

  // After reading the first paragraph of a paper
  Mr. Green: It's like you're hitting me with a baseball bat *BAM BAM BAM* and then you stop, and it feels wonderful.

  Tags: green

• #888 + (+11)/13 - [ Report ]

  // In Hum I
  Mr. Kelly: I'm going to call on random people. What do I mean by random? I mean that I'm sitting at a teacher's desk, looking down at a pair of patent leather shoes and a sword made out of tape. That's what I mean by random.

  Tags: kelly

• #886 + (−3)/15 - [ Report ]

  // About poverty in Africa
  Mr. Kelly: Hey, hey, what do ya' say, uncrushed peanuts for Africa today!

  Tags: kelly

• #883 + (+29)/31 - [ Report ]

  // Referring to a science project
  Student: I have a proposal to make...
  Dr. Cammer: Aww, that's sweet, but I don't want to marry you.

  Tags: cammer

• #882 + (+7)/9 - [ Report ]

  // In Film Study, about the Wizard of Oz
  Mr. Pollet: They wanted to hire Shirley Temple to play Dorothy but she was under contract with another company. She was just so annoyingly sweet that when you see her movies these days you just want to smack her! *smacks his right hand against his left one really loudly*

  Tags: pollet

• #881 + (+14)/16 - [ Report ]

  // In Amateur Radio Club, after Will is using a radio and the backlight cuts out and the display shows random LCD segments
  
  Mr. Bosch: The gremlins are back...
  Will: ...?
  Mr. Bosch: The gremlins, the creatures that get inside things and mess them up.
  Nathan: We need more fairies in here this year to fix that.
  Mary: ...?
  Nathan: Fairies do useful things, like labeling these: *picks up cable marked "USELESS"*

  Tags: ham_radio mary_linnel nathan_watson will_mcgrath

• #880 + (−1)/7 - [ Report ]

  Mr Lamb: Being oppressed by the Romans kinda... colors your world.

  Tags: lamb

• #879 + (+41)/43 - [ Report ]

  // Said loudly after a coughing fit in the middle of a *silent* english class
  Amy: "I THINK I JUST INHALED A NUT"      

• #878 + (+22)/30 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus
  Eli (with Laptop): OH MY GOD! HEAT DUMP ON MY HAND!
  :flips laptop over:
  Uh... Jack, is it a problem when my heatsink is glowing red?
  Jack: Yeah.  Hey, why don't you use that to forge the One Heatsink to COOL THEM ALL!
  Eli: I'm going to fucking stab you in the face.

• #877 + (+18)/22 - [ Report ]

  Al: If you're on PCP and you play football, you're gonna kill someone. But if you're on PCP and doing... It's Academic? "NO! The answer is CONSTANTINOPLE! RAAAAUGH!"

• #876 + (+37)/69 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Majeske: Holla if you need a page number.
  Ronika: Did you just say holla?
  Mr. Majeske: ...Let me know if you need a page number. And as soon as seventh period is over... I will skateboard home. In a most extreme manner.

  Tags: majeske

• #875 + (+49)/49 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Kelly is whistling a tune as the class files in.  After nearly 3 minutes of complete silence, he is still whistling
  Jeff (whispering to Brian): He's finally cracked!

  Tags: kelly

• #874 + (+13)/15 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Blackwell: Anytime you're in a huge meeting, and you can't go to the bathroom, and you can't fall asleep, they're out to control your mind.

  Tags: blackwell

• #873 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  // During his Christianity talk in Comparative Philosophy, on living by example
  Mr. Struck: Do I tell crude jokes? No! I just insult Mrs. Bicknell! That's good, clean entertainment.

  Tags: bicknell struck

• #872 + (−12)/24 - [ Report ]

  <ywlke288> o_O
  <ywlke288> O_o
  <ywlke288> ^_^
  <ywlke288> -_-
  <ywlke288> >_<
  <ywlke288> Happiness fault.
  <ywlke288> Smilies dumped.
  **ywlke288 is now depressed.   

• #871 + (+15)/17 - [ Report ]

  Brian: Where is the Internet located?
  Michael Hill: The Internet is in everyone of us.

  Tags: michael_hill

• #870 + (−7)/7 - [ Report ]

  wagefiltefish13: whatever, it's just halloween
  wagefiltefish13: unless you're getting drunk at a wild party, it's not that much fun   

• #869 + (+160)/166 - [ Report ]

  // In English talking about sexy guy names
  Mr. Williams: I know the best sexy guy name. I got it from my other class. You know how randy means horny or sluttish?
  Class: Yeah.
  Mr. Williams: Well I've got a kid named Randy Wang.

  Tags: english randy_wang williams

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