Quote Browser
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#744 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
// After determining that a) if eli and nathan were combined, eli's pervertedness averaged with nathan's distinct non-pervertedness would yield a normal guy, and b) shannon, nathan, and eli are going to homecoming as three...
eli: so shannon, you'll have two normal guys in both of us combined
nathan: no, actually it'd be more like one normal guy and some leftovers
eli: yeah..
nathan: or i could choose not to combine with you, and keep my advantage.
shannon: yes.
eli: fucker.
nathan: ... exactly. -
#742 + ()/10 - [ Report ]
eugene ('05):so i used to hear all the shit about chabra, and how much she sucked
eugene: then, i met a god-honest punjabi-speaking indian college prof
eugene: i still haven't recovered from 'what's that metal thing on your pants?'
i thought they taught you all about d-rings in engineering class at the Indian Instute of Technomancy -
#737 + ()/28 - [ Report ]
Dareth8: No.
TheDarkFuzz: Si.
Dareth8: Nay.
TheDarkFuzz: Yes.
Dareth8: False.
TheDarkFuzz: Yea.
Dareth8: Incorrect.
TheDarkFuzz: True
Dareth8: Wrong.
TheDarkFuzz: Correct
Dareth8: No.
TheDarkFuzz: Wi wi.
Dareth8: Look, no.
Dareth8: In every possible way, no.
TheDarkFuzz: Close your eyes, yes.
TheDarkFuzz: In no ways at all, yes.
Dareth8: Hate you.
Dareth8: So much.
TheDarkFuzz: Love me.
TheDarkFuzz: So little.
Dareth8: Well...yes, that seems fairly accurate.
TheDarkFuzz: No, that definitely isn't accurate at all.
Dareth8: But...you just said it.
TheDarkFuzz: But...I just didn't say it.
Dareth8: Ye, you did! It's right there!
Dareth8: /smack
TheDarkFuzz: No, I didn't! It isn't there anywhere!
TheDarkFuzz: /pat
Dareth8: /hadoken
TheDarkFuzz: /shoryuken
TheDarkFuzz: 3
TheDarkFuzz: 2
TheDarkFuzz: 1
TheDarkFuzz: FINISH HIM!
TheDarkFuzz: Down to Forward quarter circle A!
TheDarkFuzz: FATALITY
TheDarkFuzz: Josh WINS. -
#736 + ()/164 - [ Report ]
// Mr. McFaden is playing the Breakfast Game with Joel on the bus during a Geosys/English trip
Mr. McFaden: Joel, what did you have for breakfast yesterday before you came on the trip?
Joel: Ummmm, a banana, a muffin, and milk.
McFaden: What kind of muffin and milk?
Joel: A banana nut muffin and 1% milk.
McFaden: Where did you get your muffin from?
Joel: My girlfriend made some for me.
McFaden: Where did you get your milk?
Andrew Yang: His girlfriend. -
#733 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
// In AP French, the class has just finished discussing a poem in which someone gets a letter of rejection from a lover and kills himself. The following conversation is translated:
M. Beeckman: Imagine you are the person getting the letter. What would you do in this case?
N (girl): Um, I would run off with the gardener.
M. Beeckman: But what if your gardener wrote the letter?
N: I'd go with... the milk man.
// Later
M. Beeckman: What would YOU do in this case?
J (guy): I'd do the same thing as her.
M. Beeckman: So you'd run off with her gardener.
J: Right.
M. Beeckman: Be careful, threes don't mix well. -
#731 + ()/40 - [ Report ]
// In Astronomy, discussing when the planets will be aligned in a row
Mrs. Hennig: ... for all nine planets, it happens about once every 180 years.
Someone: When was the last time it happened?
Mrs. Hennig: 1980...
Class: *groan* We won't be alive the next time!
Pledger: ... not with THAT attitude.
