TJbash.org

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• #726 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  Mikegold: In case you didn't know, I'm Jewish and it's an important part of my heritage, because my family is Jewish way way way back.
  Mr. Struck: Like Abraham?
  Mikegold: Kind of like that
  Julieann Choi: Waiiit... I didn't know Abraham Lincoln was Jewish!

  Tags: julieann_choi

• #725 + (+43)/43 - [ Report ]

  Sra. Pou: The Spanish word for pen can be either masculine or feminine; it's like a bisexual word.
  // A short moment of blank stares, and then laughter from the class
  Sra. Pou: Oh, wait. I meant transgender.

  Tags: pou

• #724 + (+5)/5 - [ Report ]

  // NMS application has instructions to attach your essay with non-glare tape.
  // another included sheet of instructions says to glue it.
  Becca Butler: Did you glue in your essay with non-glare tape?
  Dan: ...   

• #723 + (+11)/11 - [ Report ]

  // While talking about immigrant groups and services in the US
  Ms. Schoeplein: Does your church exhibit a sense of... Korean-ness?

  Tags: schoeplein

• #722 + (+6)/8 - [ Report ]

  Eugene (class of '05): My black socks don't match.
  Eugene: If I was still a theater tech in school, I'd be deeply ashamed.

• #721 + (+335)/355 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Kummer's sample student budget (originally in pie chart form):
  
  gas - 35%
  fast food - 30%
  girlfriend - 15%
  strip clubs - 20%
  
  Mr. Kummer: Wow, that looks a lot like my own budget.  Don't tell my wife... or my girlfriend.

  Tags: kummer

• #720 + (+44)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Biology with Dr. Wood
  Dr. Wood: When you stick your arms out to your sides for a long time, lactic acid starts to build up and eventually your arms start burning.
  Lisa Ju: You mean your arms catch on FIRE??

  Tags: wood

• #719 + (+7)/7 - [ Report ]

  // About the National Merit Scholarship application
  idrinkritalin111: trying to write an actual essay for this is like trying to figure out cold fusion
  idrinkritalin111: just when you think you have it, it turns out it's just a fish

• #718 + (+7)/9 - [ Report ]

  // In the McRichardson Hum, Ethan discussing why he wants to be god
  Anna: You can't be God! You're Jewish!

  Tags: ethan_stone

• #717 + (+3)/11 - [ Report ]

  GirlWhoCriedOW: i really need to stop getting parts of dongs stuck in my head   

• #716 + (−15)/21 - [ Report ]

  Christoph: Whoosh! I'm female! Now I'll go have twelve children!

• #715 + (+113)/147 - [ Report ]

  SirQuackingston: I wonder what life would be like if we talked in xml....
  SirQuackingston: like
  SirQuackingston: <reprimand>Bad Dan! Stop getting distracted!</reprimand>
  SirQuackingston: <exclamation>I like cheese!</exclamantion>
  SirQuackingston: argh, parse error
  SirQuackingston: </exclamation>*
  TheDanTran: <statement type="sarcastic">that would be so awesome. let's do this from now on</statement>

  Tags: andrew_deason dan_tran

• #714 + (+29)/33 - [ Report ]

  // In AP Language class
  Mrs. Lebryk-Chao: I don't think you'll find an English teacher who dislikes semicolons.
  Me: Really?
  Mrs. Lebryk-Chao: Really. Semicolons are sexy!

  Tags: english lebryk-chao

• #713 + (+32)/38 - [ Report ]

  // After the football game Friday, upon seeing the South Lakes team huddled in the middle of the field.
  Michael Murphy: They're probably getting a pep talk. Something like, "Well, you lost the game tonight. But it could be worse--you COULD go to TJ."

  Tags: michael_murphy

• #712 + (−3)/7 - [ Report ]

  JJBaggins2: so this is what it feels like to be sexy...

• #711 + (+22)/22 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Maeda: Mrs. Vallone skipped school to see that play because it had naked people in it.
  Winn: That's nothing, one time on the Internet I saw this--
  Mike: Winn, don't finish that sentence!

  Tags: vallone

• #710 + (+23)/25 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Lamb: Ok class, it's time
  Dan Macey: What if time is an illusion?
  Mr. Lamb: What if you're an illusion?
  Dan: Your MOM is an illusion.
  *silence*

  Tags: lamb

• #709 + (+39)/39 - [ Report ]

  // During philosophy class
  Student: So is the character male or female?
  Mr. Lamb: ...yes

  Tags: lamb philosophy

• #708 + (+49)/55 - [ Report ]

  // In response to TJTomorrow's article on the syslab: "rumor has it that many travel via a secret underground tunnel."
  Logan: That's not true! We travel through the ventilation system!

  Tags: logan_kearsley syslab

• #707 + (+36)/36 - [ Report ]

  MunkyMasterNessa: I will have to spread this news around, of course
  JJBaggins2: *cries*
  JJBaggins2: *f$#% you*
  JJBaggins2: oh shit
  JJBaggins2: not in asterisks...

• #706 + (+15)/31 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Latimer: Did everybody hear hurricane Rita's been upgraded to blackhole status? It's going to eat the United States, so we'll have to evacuate.
  Me: Time to bump up NASA's funding!

  Tags: latimer

• #705 + (−6)/6 - [ Report ]

  // LJ comment thread on marching band
  
  whiskeredguy: *images 100 TJ students, marching down the field, all with wheeled Steinway Ls in front of them* And the announcer says: "Ladies and gentlemen, we now present the Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology Precision Piano Marching Band!"
  
  futuredm: A little part of me just died.   

• #704 + (+58)/58 - [ Report ]

  // During Mr. Majeske's reading of "The World According to Student Bloopers"...
  
  Mr. Majeske: The McCormick Raper did the work of 100 men.
  
  Mr. Majeske: Magellan circumsized the world.

  Tags: majeske

• #703 + (+20)/20 - [ Report ]

  // During philosophy class
  Mr. Lamb: There's no sound.
  Tom: You mean you can't HEAR a sound.
  Mr. Lamb: How can the sound exist if no one hears it?
  Tom: You could detect it on, like... a... wave-o-scope.

  Tags: lamb

• #702 + (+8)/8 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. McCarthy discussing the 10 commandments in Hum
  "So if I go over to my neighbor's house, and he has an attractive wife, I'm attractive... err I'm attracted to her."

  Tags: mccarthy

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