Quote Browser
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#648 + ()/15 - [ Report ]
// M. Beeckman, in the middle French class, addresses a student question, then turns it into a long lecture about culture.
M. Beeckman: There's more than one way to cut the cheese.
Class: *cracks up*
M. Beeckman: Well, brie cheese is really soft, and to give everyone the sweetest bit you have to cut it in wedges, and Roquefort... -
#641 + ()/11 - [ Report ]
Eli: You know you play FPS's too much when you dream about them. For example, I dreamt about CS1.1. I was a CT, and I had a USP and a MAC-10 at the start of the first round.
You know you play CS way too much when the first thing that you think after reading that is "CT's can't buy MAC's." That's what I thought.
God help me. -
#634 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
During Dr. Wood's urban deer town meeting simulation, B, an animal rights activist, gets into a fight with A, a prize winning rose gardener who hates deer.
B: In conclusion, deer are people too.
A: But people are people, too!
B: Deer are more important
Mayor: Thank you. Any questions for B?
A: So are you a vegetarian?
B: Of course!
A: What exactly do you think you're doing to the plant population?
B: --
A: Plants are people too!! -
#632 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
AntarcticPhoenix: i was only trying to reconfigure x... i've just reinstalled half the system...
JasonGJi: well done
// Just a minute later
AntarcticPhoenix: i think it just installed tetris.
JasonGJi: woo, you did something right!
AntarcticPhoenix: yeah.
AntarcticPhoenix: well.
AntarcticPhoenix: the tetris installation worked.
AntarcticPhoenix: but i was trying to set the screen resolution. -
#626 + ()/37 - [ Report ]
Dareth8: Gaack. My hands are all shaky 'cause I just chopped some hedges with an electric saw. Electric stuff makes hands shaky.
TheDarkFuzz: So does caffiennksae
TheDarkFuzz: Oops...balme it aonbmo the ahndsa
Dareth8: /grin
Dareth8: I hate it when that happens.
TheDarkFuzz: These hands, they're liable to KILL ALL HUMANS.
TheDarkFuzz: KILL THEM ALL.
TheDarkFuzz: Godammit, I can't stKILL ALL THE HUMANS.
TheDarkFuzz: KILL THE HUno, no killiKILL THEM ALnobody's killing anyboKILL THEM
TheDarkFuzz: Shit,t hey're choking m
TheDarkFuzz: t tfdkjlghtlr;lkets
TheDarkFuzz: IT IS ALL RIGHT. WE ARE IN CONTROL NOW. -
#624 + ()/16 - [ Report ]
HellHawk123: my new opening line is
HellHawk123: "shall we have sexual intercourse now, or shall we have sexual intercourse at a later time of your discretion?"
erin x kristin: ....
HellHawk123: isn't that awesome?
HellHawk123: now in the best case, the said girl will then tear off all her clothes, and pull me passionately into some dark closet
erin x kristin: ...
HellHawk123: in the worst case
HellHawk123: she'll mace me
erin x kristin: well then best of luck to you
HellHawk123: maybe she'll pull me into a dark closet and mace me
HellHawk123: you know, give a little, take a little
erin x kristin: understandable. -
#621 + ()/22 - [ Report ]
// On the last day of school, 5th period orchestra wrote a joint story, with each person contributing one word at a time.
"One day, the sun died. It exploded and then screamed, "SUN SCREEN!" Suddenly, rabbits frantically hopped along. The psychological pie smoking pot spontaneously combusted. Then Superman gaily flagged the vampiric squashed eggplant. It grew ginormous in 16.72 eons, but its navel grew lint suspiciously. Chickens participated quantitatively in the mud observation of monumental importance. The kinky Dorito ate chains hanging upside down from its perch. Smelly monkeys flew uproariously upward while the flip flops exponentially increased the eggplant's navel debris. Desert squirrels eat piano keys while playing accordions on top of the strongest bark chip from the world's skinniest tree. Then I awoke regretting I had inhaled so much violin cleaner vicariously."
