TJbash.org

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• #5186 + (+32)/32 - [ Report ]

  // In Philosophy, John is wearing a fedora and Dave is wearing a bright green fuzzy hat
  Mr. Lamb (to John): Usually in movies if someone is wearing a hat like that, they're the con man or professional gambler or something.
  Mr. Lamb: And when someone is wearing a hat like Dave's they're usually getting locked up somewhere.

  Tags: dave_wyman john_renner lamb

• #5184 + (+50)/58 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing implied magnetic monopoles via the Ising model, in what is the Freudian slip of the century.
  Dr. Dell: We're trying to a force a system to a certain state on the dick.
  *The lulz ensue*
  Dr. Dell: ...disc.

  Tags: dell

• #5181 + (−54)/80 - [ Report ]

  // During homecoming while at a restaurant with friends
  Guy A: Do YOU think Stalin is cute?
  Girl A: Uuuh... yeah, of course!
  Guy A: *facepalm*
  Girl B: Young Stalin is adorable!
  Girl A: Stalin? What? I thought you said puppies!

• #5175 + (+25)/61 - [ Report ]

  Genevieve: *trying to open a locker at an ice rink, friends are helping* How many TJ students does it take to open a locker?
  Kirsten: Well, none of us use lockers anyway...

• #5166 + (+51)/55 - [ Report ]

  // Ms. Gecan is talking about the cause of her knee problems in WH1
  Ms Gecan: This is what happens when you have an active youth with a lot of rough experiences with your knees... Remember this girls.

  Tags: gecan

• #5163 + (+15)/21 - [ Report ]

  A: I just realized
  A: In class, all of the functors she used were defined as classes
  A: with no private member variables
  B: pretty much
  A: Well yes
  A: but why not just use structs
  B: because she wanted a classy solution?
  A: I will KILL YOU

• #5157 + (+257)/257 - [ Report ]

  // Physics has just ended.  A student walks into the room for the next class and sees Dr. Osborne.
  Student: Hey, Dr. Osborne, I heard you don't have your Big Gulp today.
  Dr. O: Is this really what passes for gossip at this school?

  Tags: osborne

• #5156 + (+44)/58 - [ Report ]

  // During Policy Debate (8th per)
  // Policy is a partner activity
  Girl: Hey I see you around in like all my activities. You're in Cross Country right?
  Me: Yeah.
  Girl: Are you single?
  *awkward silence*
  Girl: Oh wait, I meant for debate.

• #5154 + (+47)/53 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Potoker is talking about the different fouls in basketball, such as biting a player. Class asks why you would bite someone in the game anyways.
  
  Mr. Potoker: Main rule is guys... you shouldn't be putting other people's body parts in your mouth and biting them!
  *class snaps to attention and giggles*
  Mr. Potoker: I was talking about BASKETBALL. Why do all smart kids have dirty minds?

  Tags: basketball potoker

• #5149 + (+60)/70 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing reincarnation in HUM 1 English
  Williams: So if you were good in life, you turn into Taylor Swift.  If you were bad, you turn into Lindsay Lohan.

  Tags: williams

• #5145 + (+10)/16 - [ Report ]

  // Side-tracked in AP Physics, talking about human evolution
  Student: They also say our brains are getting smaller
  Forbes: Yeah, well, heavy drinking will do that to you.

  Tags: forbes physics

• #5144 + (+20)/24 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about our homework for the night
  Mrs. Rychlik: Who wants to do all that work? I know I don't. I have a life.

  Tags: rychlik

• #5140 + (+232)/234 - [ Report ]

  //In Mr. Smith's Physics 1, reviewing test
  Mr. Smith: So I took off a point for sigfigs there but then Dr. Osborne had a different view so we talked.
  Mr. Smith: ...and by "talked" I mean he spoke really loudly and I listened to him.

  Tags: osborne physics smith

• #5136 + (−8)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Sam Sohn's status: NEW RULE V. 2.1.: Unless I give you permission, you may not ask physics questions. Ask me if you aren't sure whether you're allowed.
  Robert Campion: Your rules have versions?
  Sam Sohn: Oh yes / Version 1 was 7 questions per week per person / Then I got a bit harsh with Version 2 (no questions at all) / Then got a bit more lenient
  Robert Campion: So you're asymptotically approaching `very strict' with an oscillating function?

  Tags: physics robert_campion sam_sohn

• #5127 + (+27)/31 - [ Report ]

  Conklin: So I went home and did my own type of meditation...
  Angelica: Isn't that more like medication?
  Conklin: Well, yes...

  Tags: conklin

• #5119 + (−14)/28 - [ Report ]

  Tom: Pants with snaps down the sides would be pretty cool. They'd go popopopop all the way down.
  Connor: Like a little machine gun in your pants!

• #5116 + (+30)/46 - [ Report ]

  Mr Pollet: Just think about the standard love story. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy...
  Student 1: TURNS GAY!

• #5114 + (+119)/125 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Uston: In English, we have 26 alphabets...

  Tags: uston

• #5113 + (+28)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Second week of school in US/VA HUM
  Struck: Listen up! We have something very important to say!
  Struck: If we ever happen to have a fire drill, we go this way, down the stairs.
  Struck: Not like it would happen any time soon... But if we just so happened to be in this room during a fire drill, that's the way to go.
  *Fire Alarm goes off*

  Tags: struck

• #5111 + (+85)/89 - [ Report ]

  // US/VA HUM
  // After Glazer makes announcement about how TJ teachers have won an award and we should thank them
  // applause, Sra. Pou walks across hall.
  Sra. Pou: Hey I didn't hear an applause! Did they clap for you?
  Struck: Oh, yeah! We got a standing ovation and evertyhing!
  Struck: they even threw money at us!
  Sra. Pou: Awwwww.. Spanish people are poor. All my kids threw at me were tacos.

  Tags: pou struck

• #5110 + (+22)/28 - [ Report ]

  Harris: The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

  Tags: english harris

• #5109 + (+39)/39 - [ Report ]

  // First day of school
  Pollet: ...and then you all might stone me.
  Pollet: Well, it wouldn't be the first time I've been stoned.

  Tags: pollet

• #5107 + (+97)/103 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Stueben is looking at syslab screensavers as Andy turns his test in.
  Mr. Stueben: Look at this! It's just hypnotic, isn't it?
  Andy: Whoa...
  Mr. Stueben: *whispers* Follow Satan, kill all your friends, follow Satan, kill all your friends...

  Tags: ai andy_yang stueben

• #5106 + (+7)/51 - [ Report ]

  // IM chat
  A: webassing
  A: O_O
  A: webassign
  B: ...WHAT A PERFECT TYPO

  Tags: physics

• #5103 + (+205)/209 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Uston: Some of you may not remember this because you were too young, but back in the 50's and 60's...

  Tags: uston

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