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• #562 + (+24)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Names removed to protect the innocent.
  Girl: What are two more things I want college admissions people to know about me?
  Boy: MY VIRGINITY IS A PRECIOUS THING TO ME!
  G: My virginity?
  G: "Yes, with all the horny boys at TJ, it's quite a challenge sometimes to keep my pants on."

  Tags: tj

• #561 + (+10)/10 - [ Report ]

  Tim Abbott: "p is more obviously prime than 5."

  Tags: tim_abbott

• #560 + (+23)/23 - [ Report ]

  W: In an effort to attract the growing population of nerds and geeks to church, the Protestants should add to their signs "Jesus, +10 on your saving throw for life"

• #559 + (+25)/27 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Nelson talking about what not to wear during IBET Symposium to our entire IBET.
  Mrs. Nelson: As for the ladies, you don't want to wear anything that shows cleavage because it would be embarrasing when one of us would have to say "Pull up that dress! I'm seeing way too much cleavage, Jarel!"

  Tags: nelson

• #558 + (+36)/40 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Bagden: We gave Dr. Dell a problem.  Four days later without having any sleep, he came back and said "That's a hard problem."
  Cheli: Wow, I wish I could be that passionate about something.
  Miles: Sure you can. What if someone gave you a REALLY unorganized binder?

  Tags: dell

• #556 + (+145)/153 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Schmid: You know you teach seniors when you hear them say, "Woo! Now I have a higher F!"

  Tags: geosystems schmid

• #555 + (+15)/19 - [ Report ]

  Dan Wright: Jesus definitely left some things undone. Like the weeding. Have you SEEN Jerusalem?

  Tags: dan_wright

• #554 + (+5)/13 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing a Geosystems article
  Matt Isakowitz: So the basic idea is that the world used to be like a snowball, but now it's more like a strawberry.
  Alice: A strawberry?
  Matt Isakowitz: Yeah. Well, not in the physical sense, but more in the sense that you poke it and stuff comes out.

  Tags: geosystems matt_isakowitz

• #553 + (−20)/32 - [ Report ]

  // Justin and John are playing chess. Makoto is watching.
  
  Makoto: Let's screw up John's plan. Kill the bishop.
  Justin: What did you say?
  Makoto: Let's screw up John's plan.
  Justin: I thought you said "Let's grope John's behind."

• #550 + (+18)/18 - [ Report ]

  // Koepnic gov class, disscusion having digressed to soap operas
  Koepnic: And then five years after his vasectomy, she has his twins!
  Somone: well, its technically not impossible
  Bill: Just goes to show you should always double knot   

• #549 + (+4)/18 - [ Report ]

  Druker: So there's a photo of a bunny on that wall. What's missing?
  Twizmer, Dtran, Car: PANCAKE!!!

• #548 + (+10)/12 - [ Report ]

  // In reference to a theorem from Linear Algebra in Differential Equations class.
  Dr. Sachs: Like that bad Jack Nicholson movie...
  Dr. Sachs: Proof?
  Dr. Sachs: You can't handle the proof.

  Tags: sachs

• #547 + (+18)/20 - [ Report ]

  // Brian can't beat the high score he got in Pacman earlier
  kirbman101: i cant beat yesterdays score
  SHEDLICKJ: lol
  kirbman101: its like a drug, you get high once and you can never get a better high      

• #546 + (−10)/12 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Dmitri Shostakovich
  "Shost my kovich!"
  "Shost *your* kovich?"
  "Shost *a* kovich!"   

• #545 + (+18)/22 - [ Report ]

  Brian: Is it a bad thing if i deleted a file called SYSTEM.INI?
  Eli: You idiot! *slaps Brian*
  Brian: ...I guess so

• #544 + (+2)/16 - [ Report ]

  Colin: char *temp = malloc(16);
  twinofhugin: I like big buffers
  twinofhugin: and I can not lie

• #543 + (+163)/169 - [ Report ]

  // People are looking at their grades in Comp. Sys. Techlab
  Susan: I've never had a 7% in a class before....
  Jason: If it makes you feel any better, I have a 5....
  Jack: I have a -2...?

  Tags: syslab

• #542 + (−1)/3 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing car turning in a paragraph written by illix (car didn't/doesn't feel that this would be alright)
  illix: it's not plagiarism
  illix: it's open source.   

• #541 + (+3)/13 - [ Report ]

  Matt:  while I stack oysters
  I think of unstacked oysters
  for they must be stacked

• #540 + (+8)/8 - [ Report ]

  // Geosystems
  Schmid: "..called 'relative dating'"
  Erin: "Wrong!  That sounds awful!  Dating your relative!"
  ....
  Schmid: "This is called the law of Cross-cutting relationships.."
  Alice: "A love triangle!"   

• #539 + (+52)/56 - [ Report ]

  // While taking a scantron test
  Boris: Should we use black or blue pen?

• #538 + (−11)/21 - [ Report ]

  Victor: What's yesterday?
  Lee: I don't know.
  Victor: Well, what was the day before yesterday?
  Logan walks in: Monday.
  (Victor leaves, Lee chuckles)
  Logan: Wait, what's funny?
  Lee: We know what yesterday was, he wanted to know how to say it in Japanese!

• #536 + (+30)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about sex ed presentations
  A: They're so biased. They teach girls how to fight and guys how to go home and masturbate.   

• #535 + (+1)/17 - [ Report ]

  // On the sustenance of potatoes
  BRJ: ...they have no meat!
  JB: That's right, they have no meat at all. In fact, they're PLANTS.   

• #534 + (+4)/12 - [ Report ]

  Latimer: I was in a rock and roll band, so I ruined my life.
  ...
  Latimer: I drummed without my shirt on.
  Keith: When I'm at home I drum without anything on...

  Tags: latimer

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