TJbash.org

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• #323 + (−18)/28 - [ Report ]

  Roddefig: assembly is useless, except in special circumstances
  twinofmunin: ...
  twinofmunin: you're a fat loser

• #322 + (+24)/24 - [ Report ]

  // Several students are rolling dice as lecture resumes.
  Dr. Sachs: It's just so tempting to say, "Cut the craps."

  Tags: sachs

• #321 + (−15)/21 - [ Report ]

  twinofmunin: i like linux better than windows because the duck count is higher.

• #319 + (−10)/14 - [ Report ]

  Eli: Is it just me, or have you noticed it about the EA opening thing?  I mean, the 'Challenge Everything' is starting to sound more and more like 'Worship Satan'.  By 2011, they'll have just dropped the pretense, their games will start with "EA Games, WORSHIP SATAN YOU PATHETIC MORTAL WORM!!!!!!!.  Um... Challenge everything.'

• #318 + (−7)/11 - [ Report ]

  // In reference to northerns0ng's beard:
  twinofmunin: you people and your face-rats.
  NorthernS0ng: it is my moat. it keeps the lusty wenches at bay.   

• #317 + (+99)/101 - [ Report ]

  // Alex is chucking meteors at the earth
  Alex: Let's see if I can hit Brazil.  Oh snap, I hit Peru.
  Andy: You'd make a terrible God.

• #316 + (+48)/50 - [ Report ]

  // In Health, discussing scene possibilities
  Mike:  You have an STD.
  Evan:  Your mom had an STD...last night!
  Chris:  ...which explains why you have one now.

  Tags: health

• #315 + (+44)/44 - [ Report ]

  Student A: Do you smell something?
  B: It smells like burnt popcorn.
  C: Well Mrs. Lodal is right beneath us.

  Tags: lodal

• #314 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  "Junior year is like having a wall of bricks fall on you and trying to climb out while teachers continue to throw them at you."

• #313 + (+26)/26 - [ Report ]

  // After Jack, Eli, and Nathan were having a conversation with signs out a bus window with two girls in a traffic jam
  Jack: This morning, I felt like a 386-sx in a school full of Pentium 4 Extreme editions.  But now, I just got two girls' phone numbers out a bus window.

  Tags: jack_breese

• #312 + (+10)/12 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Chhabra: Why is the monkey on your shirt smoking?
  Tom Laflin: That's not a monkey, its Groucho Marx.

  Tags: chhabra tom_laflin

• #310 + (+6)/6 - [ Report ]

  // TS has just completely botched a "Little Women" bonus during It's Academic practice.
  ZY: Geez, you don't know your "Little Women."
  TS: Well you know, I prefer my women large.   

• #309 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

  // In a Toastmasters meeting
  Nam: And then my parents sat me down and gave me that talk that all Asian Jews must go through.   

• #308 + (+11)/13 - [ Report ]

  Eric Martin: "This has been a test of your emergency Noracast system. Had Nora actually been freaking out and killing people, you'd already be dead."

  Tags: eric_martin

• #307 + (−8)/8 - [ Report ]

  Myles: so why the hell are we holding this conversation if were both busy and afk
  Myles: technically, if were afk we shouldnt be able to hold this convo
  Myles: this convo is lacking purpose, a home, and a soul
  Myles: *shuts up*
  Myles: bye

• #304 + (+36)/38 - [ Report ]

   Kirbman101:  wow, now this is lazyness, im twitching the chair back and forth with my feet so i dont have to stretch my fingers to type
   SomeKrazyRussian:  im pretty sure that takes up more energy than just typing normaly
   Kirbman101:  probably, but i have lazy fingers and happy toes

• #303 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

  // In the lunch line at the National Science Bowl
  Logan: My favorite chemicals are methyl hydrazine and 1,3,5-triazine.
  Anon: Methyl hydrazine, CH3N2H3. What's 1,3,5-triazine?
  Logan: Three hydrogen cyanides joined in a ring. Or, you could, of course, flip one of them to get 1,2,4-triazine.
  Anon: I see. And you could flip another one to get.. oh, wait, that puts you back where you started. Well, my favorite chemical is 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine.
  Logan: What's that?
  Anon: Caffeine.
  Logan: Oh! I see. That is a popular chemical.
  ...
  Logan: Y'know, if caffeine were an illegal drug, TJ would be like Columbia.

  Tags: chemistry tj

• #302 + (−5)/5 - [ Report ]

  Mark: It's so blurry.... Shit, where's my glasses?

• #301 + (+14)/18 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Waterfall: Today, we are in Hell!
  Various members of the class: No kidding...

  Tags: waterfall

• #300 + (0)/6 - [ Report ]

  // During a crew race while watching a bunch of girls fours go by
  Bryan Fleming: Hey, wait, is two seat really hot?... Gimme those binoculars.

  Tags: bryan_fleming

• #299 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Schmid: What do you think are some of the reasons for variations in sea level? *calls on someone in the back of the room*
  Someone: Ummmm... I wrote down Godzilla.
  Ms. Schmid: Okay, Godzilla.
  Alice Ohlson: That is... pending existence.       

• #298 + (+64)/64 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Wordsworth's "Intimations of Immortality"
  Ms. Curtis: "Earthly pleasures" refers to eating, and drinking, and sex...
  *giggles*
  Chris Sweeny: This isn't FLE, Ms. Curtis.
  Ms. Curtis: No, but I believe I can say the word, and I'll say it again. *Pumps fist* Sex!

  Tags: curtis

• #297 + (+19)/21 - [ Report ]

  From an LJ of someone I met at Swarthmore:
  
  [Lauren walks into room]
  Woman: [reading e-mail] ...so she wants to know if she can have an extension on her paper.
  Cothren: GOD! If she walked in here right now, that would be legitimate grounds for MURDER!
  Woman: You think?
  Cothren: I would do it with my own hands. If you promised not to tell the authorities. [Lauren titters nervously] I'm so sorry, why are you here?
  Lauren: I'm a prospective Art History major?
  Cothren: WONDERFUL! I didn't think we were going to have any. Please... er, could you please not tell anybody about the exchange you just overheard? I would, you know, appreciate... [Lauren shakes head] We'll be great friends, then! Into my office across the way?
  Woman: If he tries anything funny, just scream and I'll hear you.
  Cothren: [looking back, cackling] I know enough to gag the poor girl first. Really now.

• #296 + (−10)/12 - [ Report ]

  "Did he just crap out a lightning bolt?" 

• #295 + (+17)/21 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about Mac OS X 10.4 on a dark & rainy night at around 11:45 PM
  
  allmustbventured: and my dashboard weather widget definitely says it's sunny and cloudless right now in ashburn
  allmustbventured: ashburn, virginia
  AntarcticPhoenix: hm
  AntarcticPhoenix: sunny
  AntarcticPhoenix: er
  AntarcticPhoenix: yes
  AntarcticPhoenix: im using my solar powered flashlight right now
  allmustbventured: you have a solar powered flashlight?
  allmustbventured: man, that is so cool
  allmustbventured: oh wait, i'm an idiot

  Tags: allison_butka nathan_watson

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