Quote Browser
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#4915 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Lewis has just drawn a cylinder with a hole through it on the Inventor program
Mr. Lewis: You can create several components on this program and assemble them together! Now unfortunately, you all just came back from FLE... but for example... you can stick a rod through this cylinder... -
#4902 + ()/118 - [ Report ]
// During the physics wave labs, it is near the end of an afterschool work session.
Mr. Rose: Come on, guys, you have 5 minutes left. If everyone isn't out of here by 6:00, I'll charge 5 bucks per head.
// The students do not listen and continue working.
Mr. Forbes: Make that five POINTS per head.
// Everyone gasps and immediately scrambles to get out -
#4899 + ()/63 - [ Report ]
// HUM I English
Class: Mr. Williams! Can you sponsor our class!
Mr Williams: Oh God, no! I have enough trouble with the debate team. I mean, I like the debate team, but being a sponsor is very labor-intensive, so I wouldn't want to be the sophomore class sponsor. I'd rather slit my wrists and give birth to a chair first. -
#4897 + ()/82 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Blackwell is taking roll. He's having us portray the historical figure that we're researching when he calls our names.
Mr. Blackwell: Arman?
Student 1: He's not here.
Mr. Blackwell: Oooh, does anyone have some good gossip about Arman?
Student 2: He's short.
Mr. Blackwell: That is not gossip. Next...who are you?
Student 3: Thomas Hobbes.
Mr. Blackwell: Ah, Mr. Hobbes, what is your insight on life?
Student 3: It's nasty, brutish, and short.
Student 2: Like Arman. -
#4893 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// AP Lang; Mrs. Lebryk-Chao asks the class to explain the differences between two terms, "Art" and "Craft."
Shane: As you can see, both "Art" and "Craft" have an "a" an "r" and a "t." So the only difference between them is a "c" and an "f," which stand for Captain Falcon, so "Craft" is better. -
#4890 + ()/19 - [ Report ]
// In German, practicing speaking PALS
Frau Vaden: Pretend your hand is a microphone.
Frau Vaden: Wouldn't it be cool if you actually could use your hand as a microphone for the PALS. Then I could just draw your blood and use that to get your name and listen to you speak.
class: (stares in shock) -
#4869 + ()/26 - [ Report ]
// Watching Frankenstein in English. The Creature growls suggestively at Elizabeth
Mr. Pollet: Oh! I have a story about...no, never mind.
Daniel: No, Mr. Pollet, tell us!
Mr. Pollet: No, I was just saying that I have some experience with that...
Katie: Now you have to tell us!
Daniel: Yeah, you can't just leave it at "no, never mind."
Mr. Pollet: No. Come back when you're 18. -
#4867 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// Using a peach, a plum, and a nectarine to explain resonance
Dr. Jones: A nectarine does not switch between a peach and a plum! It does not go peach-plum-peach-plum! It does not flash like a sign to a strip club!
*class perks up*
Dr. Jones: *realizing what she said, looks shocked* -
#4866 + ()/61 - [ Report ]
// During the Shakespeare Festival
Actor: Now, what was the first thing you associate with Shakespeare, like before you were familiar with his plays or anything?
Luke: Sex!
Actor: Yes, SEX! There's a lot of that in Shakespeare! Whenever you're reading one of his plays, if you're ever like, "Does this mean what I think does?", the answer is yes, it does.
