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• #4706 + (+92)/102 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about the civil war.
  Mrs. Hurowitz: So, after Lincoln got elected, why did the South sece-
  Andy: RAAAGE QUIIIIIT!

  Tags: andy_yang history hurowitz

• #4700 + (+31)/37 - [ Report ]

  // Jesse can't remember Luke's name
  Jesse: Come on, I know this!
  Luke: "Use the force..."
  Jesse: OH! STEPHEN!!

  Tags: luke_knepper

• #4699 + (+44)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about a paper on the owl-eyed man in The Great Gatsby
  Mr. Miller: Why did the owl-eyed man go to Gatsby's funeral?
  Chris: To get to the other side!

  Tags: miller

• #4697 + (+64)/72 - [ Report ]

  // Jeopardy test review in Street Law. Class is trying to determine whether the teams are even.
  Danny Kim: It's okay that my side has more people cause I have a handicap. *holds up injured hand*
  Tim (on the other side): *holds up cane* Bitch.

  Tags: danny_kim street_law tim_rauen

• #4696 + (+9)/27 - [ Report ]

  // Instant messaging between Student 1 and Student 2 about Student 2's girlfriend
  Student 1: So when can I expect to see some action between you and Jane Doe?
  Student 2: A full half-life of carbon-14.

• #4694 + (+3)/35 - [ Report ]

  Scholla: Ladies, when you grow up, you can say to a guy, 'You know, you're a real kilogram meter per second cubed.'

  Tags: physics scholla

• #4688 + (−13)/35 - [ Report ]

  // During a status check, after being asked if he speaks a different language
  Mr. Rose: No, I don't really speak another language. I picked up a little Spanish when I lived in Puerto Rico.
  M: Really?
  Mr. Rose: No. I'm lying to you.

  Tags: s_rose

• #4685 + (+97)/99 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kelly: Now you see how in the movie when the men ask for Gandhi, they're told he is out under the tree. Now what other person of great historical significance gained enlightenment under a tree?
  Class: *mumbles* Isaac Newton...
  Mr. Kelly: That's right, Buddha!

  Tags: history kelly

• #4681 + (+69)/71 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing how to swear scientifically
  Dr. Acio: So, instead of saying "bullshit", you can say...
  *bangs the table*
  Dr. Acio: "BOVINE SCATOLOGY!"

  Tags: acio

• #4680 + (+19)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Playing Halo 3
  Student 1: Drive the lollercycle! (referring to the "chopper" vehicle)
  Student 2: What's a lollercycle?
  Student 3: It's like the ground version of the roflcopter.

• #4676 + (+71)/75 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing stoichiometry shortcut
  Dr. Acio: There are five steps. The first step is formula writing, so if you haven't memorized your polyatomic ions yet, you get to step one and you're already screwed. By the last step you'll be owned. And I'll just be going through your test looking at all the ones you got wrong, saying "Owned. Owned. Owned."

  Tags: acio chemistry

• #4673 + (+54)/58 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. McFaden is explaining the process of hydrolysis with lego-like toys
  Mr. McFaden: So this water molecule is just sitting here until a ray of sunlight hits it and ZAT! *breaks lego piece* Oh no! My water broke!
  *class giggles*
  Mr. McFaden: Sorry, that's FLE talk.

  Tags: biology mcfaden

• #4669 + (+78)/78 - [ Report ]

  // In the Syslab Research period
  Mr. Latimer: Now your presentation is different because you're one of the rare few who have actually done something this year.

  Tags: latimer syslab

• #4668 + (+64)/72 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Struck is teasing Mendel about being short and not having a girlfriend
  Mr. Struck: You can get a girlfriend. Weyanoke is right over there.

  Tags: struck

• #4666 + (+44)/44 - [ Report ]

  // In health class after watching a testicular cancer video
  Mr. Rapp:  Don't be a hero, touch your balls.

  Tags: health rapp

• #4664 + (+23)/47 - [ Report ]

  dmorris:  rwosofl
   creffett:  ?
   dmorris:  rolling without slipping on the floor laughing
             it's easier to model than just rofl
   creffett: ......

  Tags: chris_reffett derek_morris physics

• #4661 + (+11)/19 - [ Report ]

  // T gets caught eating R's Cheez-Its
  Computer Lab Teacher: Is that food in a computer lab? Throw it away!
  *Puts box in trash can, teacher leaves*
  T: Dude, I'm so sorry. I'll pay you for them.
  R: No, no. It's okay, I found them in the locker room.

• #4658 + (+18)/24 - [ Report ]

  // About to lecture on Newton
  Scholla: This class could also be called the history of eccentric dead white guys.

  Tags: physics scholla

• #4657 + (+15)/15 - [ Report ]

  // In physics talking about rotation and torque.
  Scholla: So here's a wheelchair wheel. These things are hard to get. You sneak into a nursing home at night...
  *Class laughs*
  Scholla: ...and old people put up a fight, even when you try to convince them it's for a good cause...

  Tags: physics scholla

• #4656 + (+43)/45 - [ Report ]

  // After drawing a problem on the board in which a car is tied to a tree by some length of rope, and a force of 226N is acting on the rope, Spitz raises his hand.
  Scholla: Yes?
  Spitz: I was just wondering if those were fig trees.
  Scholla: Fig trees?
  Spitz: Yeah, because then it wold be 226 Fig Newtons.

  Tags: johnathan_spitz physics scholla

• #4652 + (+146)/150 - [ Report ]

  // In APUSH, 3 male students presenting a powerpoint on Women in the Gilded Age.
  Student: Alright. So for our project, we did women.
  Class: *explodes into laughter*
  Sleete: Care to rephrase what you just said?

  Tags: apush sleete

• #4650 + (+74)/76 - [ Report ]

  Sra. Pou: I took your son to his first cock fight in the Dominican Republic, as well as his first casino. He really likes to gamble.
  Mr. Struck: Why would he gamble at a cock fight? Isn't that what a casino is for?
  Sra. Pou: No... because... the people bet to see whichever cock is better...
  Mr. Struck: Ahh... *walks out, then hurries back*
  Mr. Struck: That's what she said.
  *Sra. Pou looks sad*

  Tags: pou struck

• #4649 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  // Listening to "All You Need is Love" by the Beatles while doing a AP chem lab
  Dr. Acio: All you need is love? What crap!
  Student: Dr. Acio! How can you say that... it's the Beatles!
  Dr. Acio: C'mon, you need other things. Like food!

  Tags: acio

• #4646 + (+65)/67 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Ero: You can't say bad things about other teachers in front of me.
  Mr. Ero: I have the responsibility to kick your ass.

  Tags: ero

• #4644 + (+40)/42 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Torrence: And that is why- Are you eating?
  Chris: *mouth full* Yreah...
  Mr. Torrence: No eating in my class! Spit it out of your mouth!
  Chris: Really?
  Mr. Torrence: No! That would be gross! Swallow it!

  Tags: chris_zeng torrence

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