Quote Browser
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#4398 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Students are talking loudly during 8th period Physics tutoring
Mr. Scholla: Guys, quiet down, there's a student taking a test in here.
*Students continue talking*
Mr. Scholla: Unless you want me to come back there and open a can of whoopass on you.
Nathan: Let's keep all those cans of whoopass right where they are. -
#4397 + ()/63 - [ Report ]
// Parallel Computing
Steven: PEOPLE WHO INDENT THEIR CODE WITH SPACES AND NOT TABS SHOULD BE ARRESTED OR SHOT!
Mr. Torbert: See everyone, this is why you should all be glad we don't live in a Godofsky dictatorship.
Steven: Well, all of you who indent your code with spaces, at least. -
#4396 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
// Computational Physics
// Dr. Dell is talking about multiplication of matrices of complex numbers
Dr. Dell: So, it turns out that matrix multiplication is not commutative, but it is associative!
Brian: ...What's the difference?
Nader: Yeah, which one is commutative and which is associative?
Dr. Dell: When it's my 12-year old son, I don't say OH MY GOD. But when it's you guys - OH MY GOD, how have you made it this far?!
Nader: I remember distributive... -
#4392 + ()/43 - [ Report ]
// Regarding Chem I worksheet
Dr. Jones: So we have this empirical formula HO. Oh, that sounds kind of funny. So we have this HO, and to get this molecule here *points at board* we have to take two HOs. Well, actually, maybe they should stay apart. Two HOs together are never good... -
#4388 + ()/39 - [ Report ]
// In AP Government, Mr. Torrence is talking about the wardrobe malfunction at the Superbowl
Mr. Torrence: People were upset because there were children watching.
Mr. Torrence: As if children haven't already seen mammary glands...
Mr. Torrence (aside): Once you get old enough to appreciate them you can't see them anymore... -
#4387 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
Mr. Helm: You didn't want to be in jail for a day back then, they weren't nice places. You don't want to be in jail now. When the jails used to be in Fairfax County, at some other high schools they would take the more miscreant students and take them to Lorton where they met the finer denizens of the prison. Murderers, rapists, and sodomists.
Class: *mixture of laughs and shocked expressions*
Mr. Helm: No seriously, don't go in the showers at Lorton. -
#4386 + ()/130 - [ Report ]
// During an AP Chem ideal gas laws lecture
Kauffman: And that's something you'll go into your freshman year chemistry class - Oh, by the way, if ever in the freshman year, some time in the middle of the night, you hear the chant, "Toga! Toga!" and you require an emergency toga, here's what you do.
*Proceeds to take out a bed sheet from nowhere and shows the class how to make an emergency toga in about 8 seconds*
Class: ...
*Almost gives Mr. Kauffman an ovation, but stops*
Kauffman: And now let's return to gas laws. Oh, and the bed sheet has to be twin sized. -
#4380 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Cammer is going around to AP Bio classes to advertise the upcoming Amazon rain forest trip.
Dr. Cammer: It's a lot of fun! No hiking trails or anything like that-- pure bushwhacking through the jungle!
Student: Are there any reported deaths?
*Everyone laughs*
Dr. Cammer: Well... no _reported_ deaths... *winks* -
#4376 + ()/61 - [ Report ]
// Class is discussing last night's journal entry on how to deal with confrontations
Ms. Iorga: So for example, what would you do if someone made a racist comment about your race?
*class answers with counselor approved, appropriate messages*
Ms. Iorga: Really? I'd probably just beat them up. Punch them and hit them really hard.
Class: WHAAAT?
Ms. Iorga: Racism just makes me really angry. -
#4375 + ()/76 - [ Report ]
// Talking about Riemann Sums in Multivariable Calculus
Dr. Osborne: *very animatedly* So once you divide up the curve into these areas, you make a bunch of long, skinny French fries!! And what do you get when you add up all the French fries?
Nader: A potato!
Dr. Osborne: A VOLUME! -
#4369 + ()/86 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Sleete pokes head into classroom door.
// Mr. Struck is mostly bald; Mr. Sleete is also mostly bald but less so.
Chris Reffett: You must be Mr. Struck's _old_ friend!
Sleete: I'm better looking.
Struck: Did you know you have a crop circle on the back of your head?
Sleete: Did you know you have a crap circle on the back of yours?
*Mr. Sleete walks out; Mr. Struck closes the door and puts the black lockdown cover over the window.* -
#4366 + ()/9 - [ Report ]
// Talking about Congress' jurisdiction over military promotions
Mr. Helm: But there were some Naval Airsmen and they had a big party in Las Vegas. They certainly got pretty liquored up and were telling war stories about zooming around. There were apparently some babes at the bar and they showed up and were dancing all around and the Airsmen started to get a little frisky. So then all these sexual abuse charges came up and the female pilots complained of being groped and inappropriate things happened. So when these Airsmen were due for a promotion, when it got to congress they were just like 'no way!' and passed over them.
Mr. Helm: Good thing I was never a Naval Airsmen, or I probably would have been there. -
#4363 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
// After reading a story in which a student assumed the persona of a lamp in his room. It included the phrase "switches on and off."
Ms. Iorga: There's an innuendo in that, like the lamp is getting turned on!
Student: Ms. Iorga, it wasn't even us that went there. You took it there.
Ms. Iorga: Well, once you get to a certain age.... my mind just works that way.
